[Longer introduction to "The Nutcracker Suite"] Narrator: You know, it's funny how wrong an artist can be about his own work. The one composition of Tchaikovsky's that he really detested was his "Nutcracker Suite", which is probably the most popular ...
Hazel Grace Lancaster: Is this where you bring all your romantic conquests? Augustus Waters: Yeah, every last one of them. Which is probably why I'm still a virgin. Augustus Waters: You are not still a virgin! Are you really? Augustus Waters: Let me ...
Hendley: Right. Bartlett: Dennis, maps and surveys. Colin, you'll take your usual job. Eric, have you thought how you're going to get rid of this dirt? Ashley-Pitt: Yes, I have. The usual places. I hadn't anticipated three tunnels, but we'll manage. ...
Sean: You know what? You can shove your medal up your fucking ass! Because I don't give a shit about your medal. Because I knew you before you were a mathematical God. When you were pimple-faced and homesick and didn't know which side of the bed to p...
Hermione: [gazing at a crystal ball] Can I give it a try? Professor Trelawney: Yes, sure! Hermione: The grim. Possibly. Professor Trelawney: You know, my dear, the moment I looked into your eyes I knew that you did not have the mind for the noble art...
Man at Bar: Why do you drink so much? Please go home, Mr. Bailey. Mr. Welch: [sitting right beside George] Bailey? Which Bailey? Giuseppe Martini: This is Mr. George Bailey. [Mr. Welch angrily pulls George Bailey up to his face by the lapels with one...
Peter Warne: Excuse me, lady, but that upon which you sit, is mine. Ellie Andrews: I beg your pardon! Peter Warne: Now, listen. I put up a stiff battle for that seat. So if it's just the same to you - scram. Ellie Andrews: [ignoring him] Driver! Are ...
Mr. Incredible: The robot's in the financial district. Which exit do I take? Elastigirl: Traction Avenue. Mr. Incredible: That'll take me downtown. I take Seventh, don't I? Elastigirl: Don't take Seventh! Mr. Incredible: Great, we missed it! Elastigi...
"Hatchet" Harry: Yeah? That you, boy? Eddie: It's Ed, if that's you mean. "Hatchet" Harry: Pay day, ain't it? Eddie: Yeah... I wanted to talk to you about that. "Hatchet" Harry: I'll bet you do. I got half a million nicker sitting here, which means s...
Judith: [on Stan's desire to be a mother] Here! I've got an idea: Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb - which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans' - but that he can have the *right* to have babies. Francis: Good...
Robot: [At the Octan loading bay] Who are you here to see? Batman: I'm here to see... your butt! Robot: Is that a last name Butt, first name Your...? Robot: [Batman throws a Batarang at the Robot decapitating him] Oh, my gosh! [Batman and Benny laugh...
Old Lodge Skins: Am I still in this world? Jack Crabb: Yes Grandfather. Old Lodge Skins: Heeya... I was afraid of that. Well sometimes the magic works and sometimes it doesn't. Let's go back to the tepee and eat my son. My newest snake wife cooks dog...
Dr. Yen Lo: Attractive plant you have here. Zilkov: Thank you, doctor. It's actually a rest home for wealthy alcoholics. We were able to purchase it three years ago. Except for this floor and the floor above it, which is sealed off for security purpo...
Jimmy Gator: "Now I'm going to have our three whistlers... uh... please to present the next... um, the... um... musical... there were three... musical sections here, and this'll be the third... the third section... um... and they'll play a piece... i...
Laura Bishop: I'm sorry, Walt. Walt Bishop: It's not your fault. [pause] Walt Bishop: Which injuries are you apologizing for, specifically? Laura Bishop: Specifically? Whichever ones still hurt. Walt Bishop: Half of those were self-inflicted. [starin...
Neal: What's the flight situation? Del: Simple. There's no way on earth we're going to get out of here tonight. We'd have more luck playing pickup sticks with our butt-cheeks than we will getting a flight out of here before daybreak. Neal: I guess we...
[after Westley rescues her from the lightning quicksand] Buttercup: We'll never succeed. We may as well die here. Westley: No, no. We have already succeeded. I mean, what are the three terrors of the Fire Swamp? One, the flame spurt - no problem. The...
Mr. Blonde: Listen kid, I'm not gonna bullshit you, all right? I don't give a good fuck what you know, or don't know, but I'm gonna torture you anyway, regardless. Not to get information. It's amusing, to me, to torture a cop. You can say anything yo...
[Grant has just explained SPECTRE's plot for Bond] James Bond: That must have been a pretty sick collection of minds to dream up a plan like that. Donald 'Red' Grant: Wish you could see the headlines, "British agent murders beautiful Russian spy, the...
Joey Gazelle: You know... I used to know this kid. His old man was a real fucking piece of shit. Always drunk. Always smacking him and his mom around. This kid... he takes his licks and he waits this old fucking prick out. And on the morning of his f...
Coach Boone: What, you say your name was Jerry? Bertier: [annoyed] Gerry. Coach Boone: No, you must have said Jerry. Jerry Lewis, which you make *you* [looks towards Dean] Coach Boone: Dean Martin. [towards parents] Coach Boone: Ladies and gentleman!...
