Christian: Where were you last night? Satine: I told you... I was sick. Christian: You don't have to lie to me. Satine: We have to end it. Everybody knows. Harold knows. Sooner or later the Duke will find out.
Hawkeye Pierce: Frank, were you on this religious kick at home, or did you crack up over here? Duke Forrest: How long does this go on, Frank? Frank Burns: It gets longer all the time. Now I have your soul to pray for, and Captain Pierce's.
[on the war that devastated the Real World] Morpheus: We don't know who struck first, us or them. But we do know it was us that scorched the sky. At the time, they were dependent on solar power. It was believed they would be unable to survive without...
David Grant: How did you and mom end up getting married? Woody Grant: She wanted to. David Grant: And you didn't? Woody Grant: I figured, what the hell. David Grant: Were you ever sorry you married her? Woody Grant: All the time.
Noodles: To keep from going crazy, you have to cut yourself off from the outside world, just not think about it. Yet there were years that went by. It seemed like... no time at all, because you're not doing anything.
[first lines] Ulysses Everett McGill: Say, any of you boys smithies? Or, if not smithies per se, were you otherwise trained in the metallurgic arts before straitened circumstances forced you into a life of aimless wanderin'?
Grandpa: It was ten days to the wedding. The King still lived, but Buttercup's nightmares were growing steadily worse. The Grandson: See, didn't I tell you she'd never marry that rotten Humperdinck? Grandpa: Yes, you're very smart. Shut up.
Jennifer: This place gives me the creeps! Did you know that the books are blank? David: What? Jennifer: Yeah, I was in the library and I looked, and they have covers and there's nothing inside of them. David: What were you doing in a library? Jennife...
messenger from Lord Asano: You ladies need to be taught some respect! Female fire worker: Respect? What's that? Female fire worker: We haven't had any respect since the day we were born! [the women collectively give the messenger the "raspberry"]
German officer: [on the Battle of Kasserine Pass] The Americans were under the command of British General Anderson. [smiles broadly] German officer: American soldiers and British generals - the worst of both worlds! Field Marshal Erwin Rommel: [curtl...
Charlie: If my Aunt Helen were still here, I could talk to her. And I know she would understand how I am both happy and sad, and I'm still trying to figure out how could that be.
Albert Freedman: If you were a kid, would you wanna be an annoying Jewish guy with a side wall haircut? Charles Van Doren: Well I wanted to be Joe Dimaggio. Albert Freedman: Oh yeah, me too. Especially after he signed for that hundred grand.
Feathers: I thought you were never going to say it. John T. Chance: Say what? Feathers: That you love me. John T. Chance: I said I'd arrest you. Feathers: It means the same thing, you know that.
Herman Blume: Take it easy, Max. Rosemary Cross: You were the one that ordered him a whiskey and soda. Max Fischer: So what's wrong with that? I can write a hit play. Why can't I have a little drink to unwind myself?
Coach Yoast: [after winning the state championship] I know football, and what you did with those boys. You were the right man for the job, Coach! Coach Boone: You're a Hall-of-Famer in my book! [both raise game ball in victory]
Royal: You know, Richie, this illness, this closeness to death... it's had a profound affect on me. I feel like a different person, I really do. Richie: Dad, you were never dying. Royal: But I'm going to live.
Ari: Were you in prison? Royal: Kinda. Minimum security. I got jacked by the IRS. Shall we split? Ari: Yes, sir. Royal: No, call me Mr. Tennenbaum. Ari: OK. Royal: Oh, I'm kidding. Call me Pappy.
Warden: You're as violent as they come. I know this, because I'm as violent as they come. If the constraints of society were lifted, and I was all that stood between you and a meal, you would crack my skull with a rock and eat my meaty parts. Wouldn'...
Seth: Dude! That means that by some fate we were paired together and she thought of me. Thought of me enough to want me to be responsible for the entire funness of her party! She wants to fuck me! She wants my dick in or around her mouth!
Evan: Fogell, I just don't understand why you were smoking cigarettes with those cops. Fogell: Because I fucking rule! Oh, we are SO gonna get laid tonight! Seth: I am, I'm gonna get laid.
[the pirates have just discovered Captain Shakespeare in drag] Skinny Pirate: What's the problem? Captain Shakespeare: It's my reputation. Skinny Pirate: No. No. Don't be silly. Nonsense. Old Pirate: It's all right, Captain. We always knew you were a...
