Bert: Uncle Albert, I got a jolly joke I saved for just such an occasion. Would you like to hear it? Uncle Albert: [sobbing] I'd be so grateful. Bert: Well it's about me granddad, see, and one night he has a nightmare. He was so scared, he chewed his...
Adriana: Well, good luck with your book and your wedding Gil: Thanks, I think you would like Inez she has a, a very sharp sense of humour and attractive, I wouldn't say that we agree on everything Adriana: But the important things Gil: Yeah, or actua...
Jonathan Mardukas: Why would you eat that? Jack Walsh: Why? 'Cause it tastes good. Jonathan Mardukas: But it's not good for you. Jack Walsh: I'm aware of that. Jonathan Mardukas: Why do something that you know is not good for you? Jack Walsh: Because...
Mona Lisa Vito: So what's your problem? Vinny Gambini: My problem is, I wanted to win my first case without any help from anybody. Mona Lisa Vito: Well, I guess that plan's moot. Vinny Gambini: Yeah. Mona Lisa Vito: You know, this could be a sign of ...
[first lines] Announcer: In the name of Allah the merciful, all praises due to Allah, Lord of all the worlds. The one God to whom praise is due forever. The one who came to us in the person of Master Fard Muhammad and raised up the Honorable Elijah M...
[Anton has just shot the Man who hires Wells in the throat, and is standing over his body] [to Nervous Accountant] Anton Chigurh: Who are you? Nervous Accountant: Me? Anton Chigurh: Yes. Nervous Accountant: Nobody... accounting. Anton Chigurh: He gav...
Nancy: I know you're there Freddy. Freddy Krueger: You think you was gonna get away from me? Nancy: I know you too well, Freddy. Freddy Krueger: Now you die. Nancy: It's too late, Krueger. I know the secret now. This is just a dream. You're not alive...
Alicia: [in bed, hung-over] I'm no stool-pigeon, Mr. Devlin. Devlin: My department authorized me to engage you to do some work for us. There's a job in Brazil... Alicia: Oh, go away. The whole thing bores me. Devlin: Some of the German gentry who are...
Young Noah: I'm not usually like this, I'm sorry. Young Allie: Oh yes you are. Young Noah: I could be fun, if you want. I could be pensive, uhh... smart, supersticious, brave? And I, uhh, I can be light on my feet. I could be whatever you want. You j...
Reuben: If you're gonna steal from Terry Benedict, you'd better goddamn KNOW. This sorta thing used to be civilized, you'd hit a guy, he'd whack you, done. But with Benedict... at the end of this, he'd BETTER not know you're involved, not know your n...
Keith Jennings: [Referring to Damien] Look, I'm not just some bystander. I was the one that found him. Robert Thorn: And I'm the one that's supposed to kill him. [Revealing daggers from Bugenhagen] Robert Thorn: These are knives. He wants me to stab ...
Nurse Ratched: Aren't you ashamed? Billy: No, I'm not. [Applause from friends] Nurse Ratched: You know Billy, what worries me is how your mother is going to take this. Billy: Um, um, well, y-y-y-you d-d-d-don't have to t-t-t-tell her, Miss Ratched. N...
Del: You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah, you're right, I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you... but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you...
The Grandson: A book? Grandpa: That's right. When I was your age, television was called books. And this is a special book. It was the book my father used to read to me when I was sick, and I used to read it to your father. And today I'm gonna read it...
[after Westley rescues her from the lightning quicksand] Buttercup: We'll never succeed. We may as well die here. Westley: No, no. We have already succeeded. I mean, what are the three terrors of the Fire Swamp? One, the flame spurt - no problem. The...
Miracle Max: He probably owes you money huh? I'll ask him. Inigo Montoya: He's dead. He can't talk. Miracle Max: Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead. There's a big difference between most...
Maximillian Cohen: Restate my assumptions: One, Mathematics is the language of nature. Two, Everything around us can be represented and understood through numbers. Three: If you graph the numbers of any system, patterns emerge. Therefore, there are p...
Mullroy: What's your purpose in Port Royal, Mr. Smith? Murtogg: Yeah, and no lies. Jack Sparrow: Well, then, I confess, it is my intention to commandeer one of these ships, pick up a crew in Tortuga, raid, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer my wea...
[ordered to order Lizzie to accept Mr. Collins's proposal] Mr. Bennet: Your mother insists on you marrying Mr. Collins... Mrs. Bennet: Yes! Or I'll never see her again! Mr. Bennet: Well, Lizzy, from this day henceforth it seems you must be a stranger...
Keller Dover: He stays in custody till my daughter is found right? Right? Detective Loki: We have a 48-hour hold on him. It ends tomorrow unless we bring charges. Keller Dover: Well, then charge him with something... Charge him! Detective Loki: Mr. D...
Sam Loomis: You mean the old woman I saw tonight wasn't Mrs. Bates? Sheriff Al Chambers: Now wait a minute, Sam, are you *sure* you saw an old woman? Sam Loomis: Yes! In the house behind the motel! I called and I pounded, but she just ignored me! She...
