Marty DiBergi: Given the history of Spinal Tap drummers, uh, in the past, do you have any fears, uh, for your life? Mick Shrimpton: When I did join, you know, they did tell me - they kind of took me aside and said, "Well, Mick. It's, you know, it's l...
Alex Goran: You never called. Ryan Bingham: Well, I wasn't sure what was appropriate. Alex Goran: Appropriate? Ryan, I'm not some waitress you banged in a snowstorm. That word has no place in our vocabulary. I am the woman that you don't have to worr...
Tucker: How's momma? Gilbert: She's fat. Tucker: Come on, man. She's not all that big, Gilbert. Gilbert: What? Tucker: Listen, I saw a guy at the state fair who was... a little bit bigger. Gilbert: A little bit bigger? Tucker: Look, all I'm sayin' is...
Withnail: [in a telephone box, speaking to his agent] Listen, I pay you 10 percent to do that. Well, lick 10 percent of the arses for me, then! Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? How DARE you! [he slams the phone down] Withnail: Fuck you! [he steps out of t...
Dorothy: [Reaches to pick an apple from the apple tree, the tree grabs the apple and slaps her hand] Ouch! Apple Tree: What'd'ya think you're doing? Dorothy: We've been walking a long ways and I was hungry and... did you say something? Apple Tree: Sh...
Cropsey, Rogue Lieutenant: [Luther just made a phone call and is excited] Well? Luther: Some two-bit outfit almost got them, but they bopped their way past. Cropsey, Rogue Lieutenant: We can meet them at the 96th street station. Luther: Yeah, platfor...
Roger Rabbit: Say, Eddie. That sure was a funny dance you did for the weasels. Do you think your days of being a sourpuss are over? Eddie Valiant: Only time will tell. Roger Rabbit: Yeah, well... put 'er there, pal. [They shake hands; Eddie gets shoc...
[Harry and Sally discussing orgasms] Sally Albright: Most women at one time or another have faked it. Harry Burns: Well, they haven't faked it with me. Sally Albright: How do you know? Harry Burns: Because I know. Sally Albright: Oh. Right. Thats rig...
[George takes a corner far too fast, tossing everyone in the car from side to side. Pause] Martha: Aren't you going to apologize? George: Not my fault, the road should've been straight. Martha: No, aren't you going to apologize for making Honey throw...
Dr. Jean Grey: Ladies and gentlemen, we are now seeing the beginnings of another stage of human evolution. These mutations manifest at puberty, and are often triggered by periods of heightened emotional stress. Senator Kelly: Thank you, Miss Grey! Th...
[to Senator Kelly] Magneto: Are you a God-fearing man, Senator? That is such a strange phrase. I've always thought of God as a teacher; a bringer of light, wisdom, and understanding. You see, I think what you really fear is me. Me and my kind. The Br...
Tallahassee: [referring to Wichita and Little Rock, who previously hijacked them] They're in the back, aren't they? Little Rock: [pops up holding shotgun] Just me. Columbus: I'm really sorry. She was like a crouching tiger... Tallahassee: You got tak...
Xerxes: But I am a generous god. I can make you rich beyond all measure. I will make you warlord of all Greece. You will carry my battle standard to the heart of Europa. Your Athenian rivals will kneel at your feet if you will but kneel at mine. King...
Ben Wade: You ever read the bible, Dan? I read it one time. I was eight years old. My daddy just got hisself killed over a shot of whiskey and my mama said "we're going back East to start over". So she gave me a bible, sat me down in the train statio...
Summer: Well, you know, I guess it's 'cause I was sitting in a deli and reading Dorian Gray and a guy comes up to me and asks me about it and... now he's my husband. Tom: Yeah. And... so? Summer: So, what if I'd gone to the movies? What if I had gone...
Katczinsky: I'll tell you how it should all be done. [spits] Katczinsky: Whenever there's a big war comin' on, you should rope off a big field... Cigar-smoking soldier: And sell tickets. Katczinsky: Yeah. And - [glares at interrupter] Katczinsky: And...
Terry Fields: Let me have a Three Musketeers, and a ball point pen, and one of those combs there, a pint of Old Harper, a couple of flash light batteries and some beef jerky. Barman: Okay, you got an I.D. for the liquor? Terry Fields: Oh, umm, yeah. ...
Duane: Can I confess something? I tell you this as an artist, I think you'll understand. Sometimes when I'm driving... on the road at night... I see two headlights coming toward me. Fast. I have this sudden impulse to turn the wheel quickly, head-on ...
[Alvy is asked to try cocaine] Alvy Singer: I don't want to put a wad of white powder in my nose. There's the nasal membrane... Annie Hall: You never want to try anything new, Alvy. Alvy Singer: How can you say that? Whose idea was it? I said that yo...
Dean Vernon Wormer: Greg, what is the worst fraternity on this campus? Greg Marmalard: Well that would be hard to say, sir. They're each outstanding in their own way. Dean Vernon Wormer: Cut the horseshit, son. I've got their disciplinary files right...
Bishop: [Bishop is puzzled by Ripley's reaction towards him] Is there a problem? Burke: I'm sorry. I don't know why I didn't even- Ripley's last trip out, the syn- the artificial person malfunctioned. Ripley: "Malfunctioned"? Burke: There were proble...
