Bruno Bettelheim: The question of whether Zelig was a psychotic or merely neurotic was a question that was endlessly discussed among his doctors. Now I myself felt his feelings were really not all that different from the normal, what one would call t...
After 'Psychonauts,' we could have laid off half our team so that we'd have more money and time to sign 'Brutal Legend.' But doing so would have meant breaking up a team that had just learned how to work well together. And what message would that hav...
Feminists who say that I switched sides because I am an opportunist should know that exactly the opposite is true. It's cost me a lot of money. I've gone from being well-to-do to being $70,000 in debt. I have done something self-destructive financial...
Mistress Epps: You will remove that black bitch from this property, or I'll take myself back to Cheneyville. Edwin Epps: Back to the hogs's trough where I found you? Do not set yourself against Patsy, my dear. Cos I will rid myself of you well before...
Xerxes: You Greeks take pride in your logic. I suggest you employ it. Consider the beautiful land you so vigorously defend. Picture it reduced to ash at my whim! Consider the fate of your women! Spartan King Leonidas: Clearly you don't know our women...
Rachael: [Rachael has got Adam a dog, but he does not want it] "Ok, forget it i can just bring him back to the shelter in the morning." Adam: Well then what happens to him. Rachael: He'll be put back in his tiny cage with ten other dogs who will bull...
[US income tax returns are due in 2 days, but Swigert is 200,000 miles away] Jack Swigert: Uh, well, if anyone from the, uh, from the IRS is watching, I... forgot to file my, my, my 1040 return. Um, I meant to do it today, but, uh... Sy Liebergot: [b...
Mr. Smiley's Manager: I don't think you'd fit in here. Lester Burnham: I have fast food experience. Mr. Smiley's Manager: Yeah, like twenty years ago! Lester Burnham: Well, I'm sure there have been amazing technological advances in the industry, but ...
Carolyn Burnham: Lester I refuse to live like this! This is not a marriage! Lester Burnham: This hasn't been a marriage, for years, but you were happy as long as I kept my mouth shut. Well guess what, I've changed! And the new me whacks off when he f...
Susan Orlean: Do you ever get lonely sometimes, Johnny? John Laroche: Well, I was a weird kid. Nobody liked me. But I had this idea. If I waited long enough, someone would come around and just, you know... understand me. Like my mom, except someone e...
Charlie Kaufman: My leg hurts, I wonder if it's cancer? There's a bump. I'm starting to sweat. Stop sweating. I've got to stop sweating. Can she see it dripping down my forehead? She looked at my hair line. She thinks I'm bald. She... Valerie Thomas:...
Jesse James: You ever count the stars? I can't ever get the same number, they keep changin' on me. Ed Miller: I don't even know what a star is, exactly... Jesse James: Well, your body knows, it's your mind that forgot.
Girl in Studebaker: You got a bitchin' car. John Milner: Yeah, I know. Girl in Studebaker: In fact, your car's so neat, we're gonna give you our special prize. You want me to give it to you? John Milner: Sweetheart, if the prize is you, I'm a ready t...
[Alvy questions an old man on the street about his sex life] Alvy Singer: With your wife in bed, does she need some kind of artificial stimulation, like, like marijuana? Old man on street: We use a large vibrating egg. Alvy Singer: [walking away] Wel...
Dean Vernon Wormer: Have you boys seen your grade point averages yet? [the Deltas are silent] Dean Vernon Wormer: Well, have you? Hoover: I have, sir. I know it's a little below par... Dean Vernon Wormer: It's more than a little below par, Mr. Hoover...
Mortimer Brewster: Look, you can't do things like that! Now, I don't know how I can explain this to you. But, it's not only against the law, its wrong! Martha Brewster: Oh, piffle! Mortimer Brewster: It's not a nice thing to do. People wouldn't under...
Emanuel Schikaneder: Look, I asked you if we could start rehearsals next week and you said yes. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart: Well, we can. Emanuel Schikaneder: So let me see it. Where is it? Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart: Here. It's all right here in my noodle...
Paul Biegler: Mr. Paquette, what would you call a man with an insatiable penchant for women? Alphonse Paquette: A what? Paul Biegler: A penchant... a desire... taste... passion? Alphonse Paquette: Well, uh, ladies' man, I guess. Or maybe just a damn ...
John Mitchell: [on phone] You tell your publisher, tell Katie Graham she's gonna get her tit caught in a big wringer if that's published. Ben Bradlee: [later] He really said that about Mrs. Graham? Carl Bernstein: [nods] Ben Bradlee: Well, I'd cut th...
Ben Bradlee: Look, McGovern's dropped to nothing, Nixon's guaranteed the renomination, the Post is stuck with a story no one else wants, it'll sink the goddamn paper. Everyone says, "Get off it, Ben", and I come on very sage and I say, uh, "Well, you...
Bob Woodward: How do you think your check got into the bank account of a Watergate burglar? Kenneth H. Dahlberg: I'm, uh, a proper citizen. What I do is proper. Bob Woodward: Well, I - I understand. Kenneth H. Dahlberg: I've just been through a terri...
