Da Fino: Well maybe you and me could pool our resources, you know, trade information? Professional courtesy? Compeers, you know? The Dude: Yeah, yeah, I get it, fuck off Da Fino. And stay away from my special - from my fucking lady friend, man!
[Lord Bottoms had claimed the right of Prima Nocte and raped Morrison's bride on the first night of their marriage] Morrison: Do you remember me? Lord Bottoms: [scared] I never did her any harm. It was my right! Morrison: Your right? Well, I'm here t...
Ray: I'm not being funny. We can't stay here. Ken: We have to stay here until he rings. Ray: Well what if he doesn't ring for two weeks? Ken: Then we stay here for two weeks. Ray: For two weeks? In fucking Bruges? In a room like this? With you? No wa...
Abby: He took me to a psychiatrist one time, to calm me down... the psychiatrist said I was the healthiest person he'd ever talked to, so Marty fired him. Ray: I don't think you can fire a psychiatrist, 'zactly. Abby: Well I never saw him again, I ca...
Abby: He gave me a little pearl-handled .38 for our first anniversary. Ray: Uh-huh. Abby: Figured I'd better leave before I used it on him. I don't know how you can stand him. Ray: Well, I'm only an employee, I ain't married to him.
[after Scott introduces himself as Mary and shows them the pants he hand-stitched] Gerry Fleck: Well you must be very "proud Mary". Scott Donlan: Oh my goodness. Who are you all of a sudden? Stefan Vanderhoof: Good baby boomer gag. Cookie Fleck: Who'...
After you do a joke a few times, you have material that you know works. Although sometimes I have a joke that has worked a bunch of times and then one night it'll flop. And that's when I really take a hard look at myself and say: 'Well, that crowd is...
There's a way to preach the Bible unbiblically...You can use the Bible as the springboard for all kinds of ideas, can't you? Look around in here and find something that fits your fancy and then launch a rocket off it. People say, 'That was amazing, w...
I am obnoxious to each carping tongue/ Who says my hand a needle better fits./ A poet's pen all scorn I should thus wrong/ For such despite they cast on female wits;/ If what I do prove well, it won't advance,/ They'll say it's stolen, or else, it wa...
I was actually pretty shy in school. My defense mechanism was to be the class clown. I remember getting into a lot of trouble for being disruptive, and I was brought in front of the headteacher, who said: 'What's going to happen to you; what are you ...
Republicans know well that a change of rhetorical pace is necessary. But efforts by their leaders to damp down the bellicosity of newly elected Tea Party types is running into the fact that the Tea Partiers have only the high volume setting on their ...
You want a child who never makes you anything but proud? Please. Don't bother taking on parenthood if you can't handle the fact that sometimes your child's identity won't be what you would have chosen. And if you want to prevent a child from ever suf...
Corruption free" will truly be in a future impossible tense because many people re-elect unscrupulous politicians! In the end because of blind immunity to reality and impunity of "justified" corruptions in the government, it is always the hard workin...
I really think that if there's any one enemy to human creativity, especially creative writing, its self-consciousness. And if you have one eye on the mirror to see how you're doing, you're not doing it as well as you can. Don't think about publishing...
I think because I did become a well-known face in my thirties and not in my twenties, I was pretty settled in my boots and I knew who I was. And I think there's a sort of Scottish thing, too, where you don't take yourself too seriously, and you don't...
If what you achieve today is equal to what you achieved yesterday, then you are at a loss. And if what you have achieved today is less than what you achieved yesterday, then you are deprived from the Almighty's blessings. Anyone who is not progressin...
At the point when I wanted to become a designer, I didn't think about, 'Oh, but I'm a woman,' just like didn't think about like, well, 'I'm Chinese' or that 'I'm in Michigan.' You know, none of those things were obstacles to me. I just had this idea ...
And down I went to fetch my bride: But, Alice, you were ill at ease; This dress and that by turns you tried, Too fearful that you should not please. I loved you better for your fears, I knew you could not look but well; And dews, that would have fall...
Every nation that has ended in tyranny has come to that end by way of good order. It certainly does not follow from this that peoples should scorn public peace, but neither should they be satisfied with that and nothing more. A nation that asks nothi...
Those things that you just do, if you put that together in a DVD program, let's say, for $97, to teach people how to do that. Well, if you sold 100 of those a month, that's $9,700 of income a month just teaching what you already do and know to people...
Well, the 'Giuliana & Bill' show is a little bit different because Giuliana and I are the executive producers of the show, so certainly we have a lot of control and we have total, I guess if we wanted to, editing power, but I will say, in the seven s...
