Billy Clanton: [as Doc Holliday is drunkenly playing a somber piece on the saloon piano, Clanton speaks, just as drunkenly] Is that "Old Dog Trey? Sounds like "Old Dog Trey." Doc Holliday: Pardon? Billy Clanton: Stephen Foster. "Oh, Susannah", "Campt...
President of Exchange: [Randolph Duke has just collapsed with shock] Mortimer, your brother is not well. We better call an ambulance. Mortimer Duke: Fuck him! Now, you listen to me! I want trading reopened right now. Get those brokers back in here! T...
Begbie: Did you bring the cards? Sick Boy: What? Begbie: The cards, the last thing I told you was to mind the cards! Sick Boy: Well, I've not brought them. Begbie: It's fucking boring after a while without the cards. Sick Boy: I'm sorry. Begbie: Bit ...
Detective Hal Vukovich: I hate these press cases, especially the weird press cases. Where you going? Lieutenant Ed Traxler: To make a statement. Maybe make these jackals work for us. If I can get on the tube by 11:00, maybe she'll call us. Well, how ...
Douglas Quaid: Ever heard of Rekall? They sell those fake memories. Harry: Oh, "Rekall, Rekall, Rekall." You thinking of going there? Douglas Quaid: I don't know, maybe. Harry: Well, don't. A friend of mine tried one their "special offers," nearly go...
Benny: Hey, man, you need a cab? Douglas Quaid: Well, what's wrong with this one? [points to other cabbie] Benny: [laughs] He ain't got five kids to feed. Douglas Quaid: Where's yours? Benny: Right over there man. [takes Quaid with him] Punk Cabbie: ...
Buzz: I just want you to know that even though you tried to terminate me, revenge is not an idea we promote on my planet. Woody: Oh. Well, that's good. Buzz: But we're not on my planet, are we? Woody: No. Daaaah-oof! Buzz: [he attacks Woody] Woody: O...
Bobby Jay Bliss: Did you know that you can fool the breathalizer test by chewing on activated charcoal tablets? Polly Bailey: Well, maybe we should change our slogan to "If you must drink and drive, suck charcoal." Nick Naylor: Won't the police ask a...
Joey Naylor: Do I have flexible morals? Nick Naylor: Let's say you became a lawyer and you were asked to defend a murderer worse than that, a child murderer now, the law states that every person deserves a fair trial, would you defend him? Joey Naylo...
The Schofield Kid: [after killing a man for the first time] It don't seem real... how he ain't gonna never breathe again, ever... how he's dead. And the other one too. All on account of pulling a trigger. Will Munny: It's a hell of a thing, killing a...
The Schofield Kid: That was the first one. Will Munny: First one what? The Schofield Kid: First one I ever killed. Will Munny: Yeah? The Schofield Kid: You know how I said I shot five men? It weren't true. That Mexican that come at me with a knife, I...
Danny: My partner's got a really good idea for making dolls. His name's Presuming Ed. His sister give him the idea. She got a doll on Christmas what pisses itself. Then you gotta change its drawers for it. It's horrible really but they like that, the...
Johnny Cash: I'm really glad ya'll could be here today, especially you dad, glad you came. Not everybody's here. Jack's not here is he, huh? Where you been? That's what you said to me, remember? I was twelve years old and he got Jack's bloody clothes...
Sergeant Howie: Your lordship seems strangely... unconcerned. Lord Summerisle: Well I'm confident your suspicions are wrong, Sergeant. We don't commit murder here. We're a deeply religious people. Sergeant Howie: Religious? With ruined churches, no m...
Cowardly Lion: I'll get you anyway, Pee-wee. [Chases Toto; Dorothy hits him on the nose] Dorothy: Shame on you! Cowardly Lion: [Sobbing] Why did you do that for? I didn't bite him. Dorothy: No, but you tried to. It's bad enough picking on a straw man...
Cowardly Lion: Come on, get up and fight, ya shivering junkyard! Put your hands up, ya lopsided bag o' hay! Scarecrow: Now that's getting personal, Lion! Tin Woodsman: Yes. Get up and teach him a lesson. Scarecrow: W-w-what's wrong with y-y-you teach...
Paddy Conlon: I've got a thousand days. A thousand days sober today. Brendan Conlon: Well, that's great, Pop. But it doesn't change anything. Paddy Conlon: What do you mean it doesn't change anything? Have a heart, Brendan. Brendan Conlon: You listen...
Swan: If you get separated, make it to the platform at Union Square. That's where we change trains. Ajax: I only got one question. Who named you leader? I got just as much right to take over as you. Fox: It was Cleon's choice, Swan's war chief. Ajax:...
Jessica Rabbit: Well, we're not going anywhere in my car. Let's take yours. Eddie Valiant: I have a feeling someone already did. Jessica Rabbit: From the looks of it I'd say it was Roger. My honey bunny was never very good behind the wheel. Eddie Val...
Dolores: Tomorrow's Friday, Eddie. You know what happens here on Friday? Eddie Valiant: Fish special? Dolores: Well, my boss checks the books on Friday. And if I don't have that money I gave you back in the till, I'm gonna lose my job. Eddie Valiant:...
Jordan Belfort: On a daily basis I consume enough drugs to sedate Manhattan, Long Island, and Queens for a month. I take Quaaludes 10-15 times a day for my "back pain", Adderall to stay focused, Xanax to take the edge off, pot to mellow me out, cocai...
