Sam: So, I'm guessing you've never been high before. Charlie: No. No, no, no. My best friend, Michael, his dad was a big drinker, so he hated all that stuff. Parties too. Sam: Well, where is Michael tonight? Charlie: Oh, he shot himself last May. I k...
Policeman: Do you have any disgruntled employees? Nathan Arizona Sr.: Hell, they're all disgruntled. I ain't running no damn daisy farm. My motto is "Do it my way or watch your butt!" Policeman: Well, do you think any of them could've done it? Nathan...
[at the police station] Slimey Lawyer: Attempted murder? Well, it's not like he killed someone. This is a clear violation of my client's civil rights. Bail Bondsman: Make it aggravated assault and I can make bail, in cash, now! Sgt. Reed: [angrily] L...
Judy: I love somebody. All the time I've been... I've been looking for someone to love me. And now I love somebody. And it's so easy. Why is it easy now? Jim Stark: I don't know; it is for me, too. Judy: I love you, Jim. I really mean it. Jim Stark: ...
Jim Stark: Did you make my sandwiches? Mrs. Carol Stark: There's meatloaf and, peanut butter. [Jim laughs] Mrs. Stark, Jim's grandmother: What did I tell you? [condescendingly] Mrs. Stark, Jim's grandmother: Peanut butter. Mrs. Carol Stark: Well ther...
Carla: [after telling Stanley she's pregnant] You didn't mean what you just said, did you? Stanley Goodspeed: When? Carla: Just right now, when you were talking about bringing a child into the world, and having it be an act of cruelty. Stanley Goodsp...
Hiss: [Prince John is sucking his thumb] Sire, if you don't mind my saying, you see you have a very loud thumb. [starts to hypnotize him] Hiss: Hypnosisss can cure you of your psychosis so easy. Prince John: [Snaps out of it and screams] No, no! None...
[the Sheriff and the vultures are building a scaffold to hang Friar Tuck] Sheriff of Nottingham: Well, Trigger. Everything's rigged up and all set. Trigger: Yep, it's one of the prettiest scaffolds you ever built, Sheriff. Nutsy: Sheriff, don't you r...
Rupert Cadell: [Phillip and Brandon have been arguing about strangling chickens] Personally, I think a chicken is as good a reason for murder as a blonde, a mattress full of dollar bills or any of the customary, unimaginative reasons. Janet Walker: W...
Mr. McDougal: Well this is a pleasant surprise. I wasn't expecting another deposit until the end of the month. Michael Sullivan: Actually, I'm making a withdrawal. [Pulls his gun] Michael Sullivan: And I want dirty money only, everything you're holdi...
Michael Sullivan, Jr.: Did you like Peter more than me? Michael Sullivan: No. I loved you both the same. Michael Sullivan, Jr.: You were always... different with me. Michael Sullivan: Was I? [Sullivan thinks for a while] Michael Sullivan: Well, I sup...
[Alan Shepard climbs into Freedom 7 to find a placard taped to the instrument panel reading "No Handball Playing In This Area". John Glenn looks in and smiles] Alan Shepard: [hands placard out to Glenn] Not very funny, John. John Glenn: Well, I thoug...
Vaughan Cunningham: I'm just going to say it. I'm gay. Does that surprise you that I'm gay? You know what gay is, don't you? Karl: I don't reckon. Vaughan Cunningham: [quietly] Homosexual. I like men sexually. Karl: Not funny 'ha-ha', funny queer. Va...
Dr. Jerry Woolridge: I won't lie to you. He did get into that trouble a while ago, but then we has young. Bill Cox: I remember well. He cut those folks to pieces and his Mama was one of them. Scooter: And that old Dixon boy. Oh, hell, I always wanted...
Karl: I'm your boy. Frank Childers: I ain't got no boy. Karl: I'm your oldest boy. Name of Karl. Frank Childers: I ain't got no boy. Karl: They turned me loose from the nervous hospital. 'Said I was well. I got hired on by a Mr. Bill Cox fixing lawnm...
[Dwight has been pulled over by a policeman on a motorcycle, with Jackie-Boy slumped over dead in the passenger seat] Motorcycle Cop: Your buddy there... Partied a little too hard tonight? Dwight: [staring coldly at the cop] I'm the designated driver...
Ann Newton: [Answering the phone] Newton's residence, Ann Newton speaking. Oh, hello, Mrs Henderson, this is Ann. No, Mother isn't here. A telegram? Well... [looks right, then left] Ann Newton: I don't see a pencil so I'll have to have her call you b...
[after Philip has been bitten] Philip: You didn't call the doctor, did you? Barbara: Well, I thought we ought to be on the safe side. Philip: I'm quite all right, Barbara, I ran it under a cold tap. Barbara: I really think... Philip: We had our jabs ...
Queen: Now, a formula to transform my beauty into ugliness. Change my queenly raiment to a peddler's cloak. Mummy dust, to make me old. To shroud my clothes, the black of night. To age my voice, an old hag's cackle. To whiten my hair, a scream of fri...
Lord Farquaad: Mirror, mirror, on the wall / Is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all? Magic Mirror: Well, technically, you're not a king. Lord Farquaad: Ah, Thelonius? [Thelonius the Executioner smashes a small looking glass] Lord Farquaad: ...
Shrek: [to Donkey] WHY are you following me? Donkey: Oh, I'll tell you why. [starts to sing] Donkey: 'Cause I'm all alone / There's no one here beside me / My problems have all gone / There's no one to deride me! / But ya gotta have friends... Shrek:...
