Giosué Orefice: "No Jews or Dogs Allowed." Why do all the shops say, "No Jews Allowed"? Guido: Oh, that. "Not Allowed" signs are the latest trend! The other day, I was in a shop with my friend the kangaroo, but their sign said, "No Kangaroos Allowed...
George: [Sternly] Go get in the truck. Sam: Go fuck yourself! George: Listen to me... Listen! I want that thing out of your chin, okay? You got nipple rings, navel rings - those come out, too. And there's no makeup at my house. No glue sniffing, no h...
King Arthur: I am your king. Woman: Well, I didn't vote for you. King Arthur: You don't vote for kings. Woman: Well how'd you become king then? [Angelic music plays... ] King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite ...
Virginia McCain: [teasing Buster about a fake affair as she looks through the new Misery books] Well, whoever she is, she sure likes to read a lot. Sheriff John T. 'Buster' McCain: Virginia, I'm flattered that you think I have that kind of energy. I ...
Carson Wells: Call me when you've had enough. I can even let you keep a little of the money. Llewelyn Moss: If I was cuttin' deals, why wouldn't I go deal with this guy Chigurh? Carson Wells: No no. No. You don't understand. You can't make a deal wit...
Ulysses Everett McGill: You can't display a toad in a fine restaurant like this! Why, the good folks here would go right off the feed! Delmar O'Donnell: I just don't think it's right keeping him under wraps like we's ashamed of him. Ulysses Everett M...
Jules: [talking about Mia, Marsellus Wallace's wife] I think her biggest deal was she starred in a pilot. Vincent: Pilot? What's a pilot? Jules: Well, you know the shows on TV? Vincent: I don't watch TV. Jules: Yeah, but, you are aware that there's a...
Chief Scientist: I agree with those who say we could launch a pod. Lyndon Johnson: A pot? Chief Scientist: A POD - a, uh, capsule. Now, we would be in full control of zis pod. It vill go up like a cannonball, and come down like, uh, a cannonball, spl...
Royal: First thing I want to do is take you out to see your grandmother, at some point. Richie: I haven't been out there since I was 6. Margot: I haven't been out there at all, I was never invited. Royal: Well, she wasn't your real grandmother, and I...
[after Ray accuses Jeff of stealing] Ray Charles: How could you do that? We've been through so much. We were like brothers. Jeff Brown: Ray... if we were like brothers, why are you paying Joe more than you're paying me? Ray Charles: Damn all that. Yo...
Shaun: Mum, look, what would you say if I told you that over the years Philip's been quite unkind to me? Barbara: Well you weren't always the easiest person to live with. Shaun: Mum, he chased me around the garden with a bit of wood! Barbara: Well yo...
Don Lockwood: Which of my pictures have you seen? Kathy: I don't remember. I saw one once. Don Lockwood: You saw one once? Kathy: Yes, I think you were dueling and there was a girl - Lina Lamont. But I don't go to the movies much. If you've seen one ...
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: I know she meant to kill me 'fore the Doc put her to sleep, which how exactly does that work anyhow? Dr. Simon Tam: Safeword. The people who helped me break River out - they had intel that River and the other subjects were bei...
Jimmy: Hey, Shakespeare! How's it going? Joe Turner: Terrific. I'm building up a great collection of rejection slips. Jimmy: [as he prepares Turner's lunch order] Yeah, I know the feeling. I always wanted to be Escoffier. Joe Turner: Well, maybe it's...
Will Munny: Who's the fellow owns this shithole? [pause] Will Munny: You, fat man. Speak up. Skinny Dubois: Uh, I... I own this establishment. I bought the place from Greeley for a thousand dollars. [Will levels the shotgun, and speaks to someone sta...
Captain: 12:30? AUTO, why didn't you wake me for morning announcements? Honestly, it's the one thing I get to do on this ship. [Resets the ship back to morning] Captain: Well, good morning, everybody, and welcome to day 255,642 aboard the Axiom. As a...
Miss Gulch: [stopping bicycle and getting off] Gale? Uncle Henry Gale: Well, howdy, Miss Gulch. Miss Gulch: [comes into the Gales' yard] I want to see you and your wife right away about Dorothy! Uncle Henry Gale: Dorothy? Well, what has Dorothy done?...
Professor X: Logan, don't you have a class to teach? Logan: A class? Professor X: In history. Logan: History... Well, actually I could use some help with that. Professor X: Help with that? Logan: Everything from 1973. [Professor then looks at Logan] ...
Lieutenant John Chard: Well, you've fought your first action. Lieutenant Gonville Bromhead: Does everyone feel like this afterwards? Lieutenant John Chard: How do you feel? Lieutenant Gonville Bromhead: Sick. Lieutenant John Chard: Well, you have to ...
Ken Mattingly: Here's the order of what I want to do. I want to power up Guidance, E.C.S., Communications, warm up the pyros for the parachutes and the command module thrusters. John Aaron, EECOM Arthur: The thrusters are gonna put you over budget on...
[Lester and Carolyn are driving to the basketball game to watch Jane's dance team gig] Lester Burnham: Well what makes you so sure she wants us to be there? Did she ask us to come? Carolyn Burnham: Of course not. She doesn't want us to know how impor...
