General Ralph Landry: You know, when they forced Khruschev out, he sat down and wrote two letters to his successor. He said - "When you get yourself into a situation you can't get out of, open the first letter, and you'll be safe. When you get yourse...
Woody: Listen, lightsnack, you stay away from Andy. He's mine, and no one is taking him away from me. Buzz: What are you talking about? Where's that bonding strip? [slides under his ship with a skateboard] Woody: [pulls him back out] And another thin...
[Marty compliments Nigel on his tee shirt] Nigel Tufnel: You like this? Marty DiBergi: It's very nice. It looks like hollow wood. Nigel Tufnel: This is my exact inner structure, done in a tee shirt. Exactly medically accurate. See? Marty DiBergi: So ...
Jack: Well, yes, ma'am, I do... I mean, I got everything I need right here with me. I got air in my lungs, a few blank sheets of paper. I mean, I love waking up in the morning not knowing what's gonna happen or, who I'm gonna meet, where I'm gonna wi...
Molly Brown: [to the group who are dining at the same table] Hey, uh, who thought of the name Titanic? Was it you, Bruce? Ismay: Yes, actually. I wanted to convey sheer size, and size means stability, luxury, and above all, strength. Rose: Do you kno...
Angel: Would you give guns to someone to kill your father or your mother or your brother? Pike Bishop: Ten thousand cuts an awful lot of family ties. Angel: My people have no guns. But with guns, my people could fight! If I could take guns... I would...
Dutch Engstrom: [Dutch and Angel are delivering the last load of rifles to Mapache] In the ravine south of here, you'll find the rest of the rifles in the wagon. You can have the wagon, we'll take the horses. Maj. Zamorra: How many cases of rifles di...
Man on the Train: Hey, are you a dreamer? Wiley: Yeah. Man on the Train: I haven't seen too many around lately. Things have been tough lately for dreamers. They say dreaming is dead, no one does it anymore. It's not dead it's just that it's been forg...
Robert: I say we fight. Solomon Northup: The crew is fairly small. If it were well planned, I believe they could be strong armed. Clemens: Three can't stand against a whole crew. The rest here are niggers, born and bred slaves. Niggers ain't got the ...
Burch: Well, my boy, how yah feel now? Solomon Northup: I am Solomon Northup. I am a free man; a resident of Saratoga, New York. The residence also of my wife and children who are equally free. I have papers. You have no right whatsoever to detain me...
Messenger: Choose your next words carefully, Leonidas. They may be your last as king. King Leonidas: [to himself: thinking] "Earth and water"? [Leonidas unsheathes and points his sword at the Messenger's throat] Messenger: Madman! You're a madman! Ki...
Kyle: I was in the neighborhood - I was just on a date with Claire, the girl I met at the bookstore? My date did not go well, unfortunately, due to a lack of chemistry... and, I think, an overuse of profanity on my part. But, whilst on my date... I r...
[Carolyn is introducing Lester to the Real Estate King] Carolyn Burnham: My husband, Lester. Buddy Kane: It's a pleasure. Lester Burnham: Oh, we've met before, actually. This thing last year, Christmas at the Sheraton... Buddy Kane: [pretends to reme...
Virgil: You know, I can't believe you were dumb enough to come down here. Now you're stuck here for the storm. That was dumb, hot rod. Real dumb. Lindsey Brigman: I didn't come down here to fight with you. Virgil: Yeah? Well, why did you come down th...
[first lines] Alvy Singer: [addressing the camera] There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and such sma...
Alvy Singer: In 1942 I had already discovered women. [Young Alvy kisses girl in school] Alvy's Classmate: Yecch. He kissed me, he kissed me. Yecch. Miss Reed: That's the second time this month. Step up here. Alvy at 9: What'd I do? Miss Reed: Step up...
Martha Brewster: [about the men they have poisoned] Let me see, now. This is eleven, isn't it, Abby? Abby Brewster: Oh, no, dear. This makes twelve. Martha Brewster: Abby, dear. I think you're wrong. This one is only eleven. Abby Brewster: No, dear, ...
Genie: [as a female flight attendant] Thank you for choosing Magic Carpet for all your travel needs. Don't stand until the rug has come to a complete stop. Thank you. Goodbye now. Goodbye. Goodbye. Thank you. Goodbye. Genie: [back to normal] Well, ho...
[Princess Jasmine is in disguise, and hanging out with Aladdin, when the guards capture him] Princess Jasmine: Let him go! Razoul: [laughs] Looky here, men. A street mouse. [throws her down] Princess Jasmine: Unhand him! [pulls off the hood of her cl...
Toby Radloff: I'm not going to be eating dinner until very late and this has got to hold me over. Harvey Pekar: Yeah? Whaddya got? A church function? Toby Radloff: No. I'm driving to Toledo to see a movie. Wouldya like to come? Harvey Pekar: No. Nah....
Danny Vinyard: So I guess this is where I tell you what I learned - my conclusion, right? Well, my conclusion is: Hate is baggage. Life's too short to be pissed off all the time. It's just not worth it. Derek says it's always good to end a paper with...
