Yvaine: Are you tempted? Tristan: Tempted, by what? Yvaine: Immortality. Let's say it wasn't *my* heart. Not me. Just a star you didn't know. Tristan: You seriously think I could kill anyone? [Yvaine giggles] Tristan: I mean, even if I could... Everl...
Chorus: [singing] Shut your fucking face, Uncle Fucker. You're a boner biting bastard, Uncle Fucker. Terrence: You're an uncle fucker, I must say. Phillip: Well you fucked your uncle yesterday. Terrance, Phillip: Uncle Fucker. That's U-N-C-L-E FUCK Y...
Sharon Marsh: Well good morning, Stan. Stan Marsh: Hi mom, can I have eight dollars to see a movie? Sharon Marsh: A movie? But I thought you were going ice-skating. Stan Marsh: But this is gonna be the best movie ever! It's a foreign film from Canada...
Uncle Owen: Have you seen Luke this morning? Aunt Beru: He said that he had some things to do before he started, so he left early. Uncle Owen: Did he take those two new droids with him? Aunt Beru: I think so. Uncle Owen: Well, he'd better have those ...
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: [Frank plans to kill himself and Charlie as well but hesitates] You don't wanna die. Charlie Simms: Neither do you. Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Give me one good reason not to. Charlie Simms: I'll give you two. You can dance the tango ...
Technician: [presenting Hawking with the speech-generating device] Welcome to the future. Stephen Hawking: [speaks for the first time] My name is Stephen Hawking... Jane Hawking: [astonished] It's American! Technician: Is that a problem? Jane Hawking...
Rooster Cogburn: Why, by God, girl, that's a Colt's Dragoon! You're no bigger than a corn nubbin, what're you doing with all this pistol? Mattie Ross: It belonged to my father, he carried it bravely in the war, and I intend to kill Tom Chaney with it...
Mattie Ross: I hope you don't think I'm going to keep you in whiskey? Rooster Cogburn: I don't buy that, I confiscate it. And a touch of it wouldn't do you any harm against the night air! Mattie Ross: I would not put a thief in my mouth to steal my b...
Billy Clanton: [as Doc Holliday is drunkenly playing a somber piece on the saloon piano, Clanton speaks, just as drunkenly] Is that "Old Dog Trey? Sounds like "Old Dog Trey." Doc Holliday: Pardon? Billy Clanton: Stephen Foster. "Oh, Susannah", "Campt...
President of Exchange: [Randolph Duke has just collapsed with shock] Mortimer, your brother is not well. We better call an ambulance. Mortimer Duke: Fuck him! Now, you listen to me! I want trading reopened right now. Get those brokers back in here! T...
Begbie: Did you bring the cards? Sick Boy: What? Begbie: The cards, the last thing I told you was to mind the cards! Sick Boy: Well, I've not brought them. Begbie: It's fucking boring after a while without the cards. Sick Boy: I'm sorry. Begbie: Bit ...
Detective Hal Vukovich: I hate these press cases, especially the weird press cases. Where you going? Lieutenant Ed Traxler: To make a statement. Maybe make these jackals work for us. If I can get on the tube by 11:00, maybe she'll call us. Well, how ...
Douglas Quaid: Ever heard of Rekall? They sell those fake memories. Harry: Oh, "Rekall, Rekall, Rekall." You thinking of going there? Douglas Quaid: I don't know, maybe. Harry: Well, don't. A friend of mine tried one their "special offers," nearly go...
Benny: Hey, man, you need a cab? Douglas Quaid: Well, what's wrong with this one? [points to other cabbie] Benny: [laughs] He ain't got five kids to feed. Douglas Quaid: Where's yours? Benny: Right over there man. [takes Quaid with him] Punk Cabbie: ...
Buzz: I just want you to know that even though you tried to terminate me, revenge is not an idea we promote on my planet. Woody: Oh. Well, that's good. Buzz: But we're not on my planet, are we? Woody: No. Daaaah-oof! Buzz: [he attacks Woody] Woody: O...
Bobby Jay Bliss: Did you know that you can fool the breathalizer test by chewing on activated charcoal tablets? Polly Bailey: Well, maybe we should change our slogan to "If you must drink and drive, suck charcoal." Nick Naylor: Won't the police ask a...
Joey Naylor: Do I have flexible morals? Nick Naylor: Let's say you became a lawyer and you were asked to defend a murderer worse than that, a child murderer now, the law states that every person deserves a fair trial, would you defend him? Joey Naylo...
The Schofield Kid: [after killing a man for the first time] It don't seem real... how he ain't gonna never breathe again, ever... how he's dead. And the other one too. All on account of pulling a trigger. Will Munny: It's a hell of a thing, killing a...
The Schofield Kid: That was the first one. Will Munny: First one what? The Schofield Kid: First one I ever killed. Will Munny: Yeah? The Schofield Kid: You know how I said I shot five men? It weren't true. That Mexican that come at me with a knife, I...
Danny: My partner's got a really good idea for making dolls. His name's Presuming Ed. His sister give him the idea. She got a doll on Christmas what pisses itself. Then you gotta change its drawers for it. It's horrible really but they like that, the...
Johnny Cash: I'm really glad ya'll could be here today, especially you dad, glad you came. Not everybody's here. Jack's not here is he, huh? Where you been? That's what you said to me, remember? I was twelve years old and he got Jack's bloody clothes...