McKenzie: Methinks the lady doth protest too much. Summer: The lady dothn't. There's no such thing as love. It's a fantasy. Tom: Well, I think you're wrong. Summer: Okay. Well... What is it that I'm missing then? Tom: I think you know it when you fee...
Deke Slayton: Jim, we've got a problem. I got some blood work back from the lab. Charley Duke has the measles. Jim Lovell: [Unconcerned] So we need a new back-up. Deke Slayton: You've all been exposed to it. Jim Lovell: Oh, I've had the measles. Deke...
Colonel Frank Fitts: Where's your wife? Lester Burnham: Uh, I dunno. Probably out fucking that dorky, prince-of-real-estate asshole. And you know what? I don't care. Colonel Frank Fitts: Your wife is with another man and you don't care? Lester Burnha...
Charlie Kaufman: [voice over] Why didn't I go in? I'm such a chicken. I'm such an idiot. I should have kissed her. I've blown it. I should just go and knock on her door and just kiss her. It would be romantic. It would be something we could someday t...
Charlie Kaufman: My leg hurts, I wonder if it's cancer? There's a bump. I'm starting to sweat. Stop sweating. I've got to stop sweating. Can she see it dripping down my forehead? She looked at my hair line. She thinks I'm bald. She... Valerie Thomas:...
Margo Channing: You bought the new girdles a size smaller, I can feel it. Birdie: Something maybe grew a size larger. Margo Channing: When we get home you're going to get into one of those girdles and act for two and a half hours. Birdie: I couldn't ...
[Margo is getting drunk at the party] Bill Sampson: Many of your guests have been wondering when they may be permitted to view the body. Where has it been laid out? Margo Channing: It hasn't been laid out, we haven't finished with the embalming. As a...
Margo Channing: Why so remote Addison? I should think you'd be at your protégé's side lending her moral support. Addison DeWitt: Miss Caswell at the moment is where I can lend no support, moral or otherwise. Margo Channing: In the lady's, shall we ...
Russell Hammond: And you can tell Rolling Stone magazine that my last words were... I'm on drugs! [crowd cheers] William Miller: Russell! I think we should work on those last words! Russell Hammond: I got it, I got it. Last words - I dig music. [a fe...
[Regarding the t-shirt picture] Russell Hammond: Can we just skip the vibe, and go straight to us laughing about this? Jeff Bebe: Yeah, okay. Russell Hammond: Because I can see by your face you want to get into it. Jeff Bebe: How can you tell? I'm ju...
Steve Bolander: I thought, maybe before I leave, we could agree that... that seeing other people while I'm away can't possibly hurt, you know. Laurie Henderson: You mean dating other people? Steve Bolander: I think it would strengthen our relationshi...
[Alvy questions an old man on the street about his sex life] Alvy Singer: With your wife in bed, does she need some kind of artificial stimulation, like, like marijuana? Old man on street: We use a large vibrating egg. Alvy Singer: [walking away] Wel...
Ripley: Will you listen to me, Parker? Shut up! Parker: Let's hear it. Let's hear it. Ripley: It's using the air shafts. Parker: You don't know that. Ripley: That's the only way. We'll move in pairs. We'll go step by step and cut off every bulkhead a...
Ripley: They grab the colonists, they move them over there and they immobilize them to be hosts for more of these. Which would mean that there would have to be a lot of these parasites, right? One for each colonist. That's over a hundred at least. Bi...
Mortimer Brewster: Now look, darling, how did he die? Abby Brewster: Oh, Mortimer, don't be so inquisitive. The gentleman died because he drank some wine with poison in it. Mortimer Brewster: Well, how did the poison get in the wine? Martha Brewster:...
Teddy Brewster: Gentlemen, what news have you brought me? Police Sgt. Brophy: [salutes] Colonel, we have nothing to report. Officer Patrick O'Hara: Huh? [Brophy elbows him and he salutes also] Officer Patrick O'Hara: Oh, no! Absolutely nothing to rep...
Mr. Collignon: [whispering to Amelie] Bre-to-deau. But if I say it, it won't count. I'm senile. Mrs. Collignon: Ignore him. He's senile. See what he's done to my laurel? His old job was punching metro tickets. Now he gets up every night to punch hole...
Antonio Salieri: [addressing a crucifix] From now, we are enemies... You and I. Because You choose for Your instrument a boastful, lustful, smutty, infantile boy and give me for reward only to recognize the incarnation. Because You are unjust, unfair...
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart: I am fed to the teeth with elevated themes! Old dead legends! Why must we go on forever writing about gods and legends? Baron Van Swieten: Because they do. They go on forever. Or at least what they represent. The eternal in u...
Mateo: This house is haunted, but it's not scary. It's a magic house. Ariel: Frankie believed in magic. Mateo: Who's that? Ariel: Frankie. Our brother. He died. Christy: He fell down some stairs when he was two. We thought he was okay... but there wa...
Patrick Bateman: I'm on a diet. Jean: What, you're kidding, right? You look great... so fit... and thin. Patrick Bateman: Well, you can always be thinner... look better. Jean: Then maybe we shouldn't go out to dinner. I wouldn't want you to lose your...
