The death of this honorable man upon this battlefield leaves all of us the poorer for his loss, yet so much the richer for the friendship and love and loyalty with which he gifted us in life. May his spirit speed unhindered to the other side to join ...
The truth was, neither the Central Intelligence Agency nor any of the other official and unofficial U.S. intelligence organizations have ever been some kind of all-seeing, all-knowing, global illuminati. For starters, we never hand that kind of fundi...
I had a dream about you. You were a statue made of bronze, and I was in love with you. I tried to be patient, but I wanted more action than you could give me, so eventually I fell in love with a water fountain.
I had a dream about you. Too many people died that day for us to talk about love. But through the stench of rotting corpses, all I could think about was how beautiful you were and how much I wanted to avoid prison.
I had a dream about you, You were peeing behind a house and when I approached you, you smiled and said to me "Your face makes me happy" I was so flattered by your words and impressed that you could pee and still talk to me. ...
I had a dream about you. You were wearing a wedding dress, and I was in a tuxedo. We’d been waiting on this moment our whole lives, only I imagined the first time I robbed a bank I’d be dressed like a cowboy. But you were right, this was more rom...
I had a dream about you. You introduced me to a clock, and I’m right handed, so I didn’t know which clock hand to shake, the hour or the minute. So I chose instead to go in for a hug. Big mistake. Time does not like to be embraced by a mere morta...
I had a dream about you. I invented and sold shoes that left no footprints, and you were thinking about committing a murder in a muddy area. I said that committing a murder was a bad idea, and that you should commit several murders, but I was just tr...
I had a dream about you. The leaves changed from yellow to red, but the stoplights did not. This made me continually cautious, and you kept honking at me. I thought you were the rudest goose ever, so I ran you over. Then the light turned red.
I had a dream about you. You were a test-tube salesman, and I was the world’s first test-tube baby. You were excited to meet me, and you asked me what I was doing with myself. I said I was a uterus salesman, and that life was good.
Have you ever been in love? It's a question you're asked a lot as a kid from your friends, adults, anyone. They're curious. How do you know you're in love? Do we even really know what love means? It's just a word to define a feeling.
I had a dream about you. The Tuesdays were outside of my castle demanding that I hand you over to them. They weren’t seeking justice—they were out for vengeance. You were Wendy Wednesday, the last of The Wednesdays, and this feud went back a long...
I had a dream about you. I was at your family reunion, and your grandma was chugging the hunch punch with all the confidence of a mature woman in diapers. I was on Wheelchair Patrol, and your uncle Kunkel kept sneaking off to the women’s restroom, ...
I once saw two rocks having sex, and I just shook my head because how stupid are those rocks? Don’t they know life only comes from life? Still, I voted for the rock on the left, because we live in a political country where you are free to choose—...
God has written us a book, and now we have the opportunity to respond with our words and actions.
He pauses a moment to reflect on the F-word. 'Sometimes I think it's an idea that enslaves us. We're never free from hungering for the notion that we can even have freedom. When perhaps it's the very idea of it that causes us to suffer.
The five points of , together with the five points of , remind us of the Ten Commandments of the Christtian and Jewish faiths, as well as of the ten virtues of Buddhism. In fact, there is no religion without these moral or ethical codes. All spiritua...
In zazen practice we say your mind should be concentrated on your breathing, but the way to keep your mind on your breathing is to forget all about yourself and just to sit and feel your breathing.
Yes, I am scared of prison. It's the last thing if you are after building up a business over 38 years and you are approaching your 66th birthday and you never owed a man a penny and you feel hard done by and you try to protect yourself and your famil...
Barack Obama knows that to create an economy built to last, we need to focus on middle-class families. Families who stay up on Sunday nights pacing the floor, like my dad did, while their children, tucked in bed, dream big dreams. Families who aren't...
I'm deeply in love with my wife, and she's my best friend, and yet we share different viewpoints of life, which I think is one of the things that holds our marriage together. She came from Texas, and she has an optimistic view of life. I came from De...
