Adam: Do you see any scars? Dr. Lawrence Gordon: What? Adam: Huh? This is what they do man! They kidnap and drug you, before you know it you're lying in a bathtub and your kidneys are on eBay! Dr. Lawrence Gordon: No one has taken your kidneys. Adam:...
Julie Powers: So, what can I *censored* get you? Scott Pilgrim: Is there anywhere you don't work? Julie Powers: They're called jobs, something a *censored* ball like you wouldn't know anything about. And by the way, I can't *censored* believe you ask...
Hamm: Excuse me, ladies, but could any of you tell us where we might the Al of Al's Toy Barn? Tour guide Barbie: I can help! [slides down the slide and into the toy car] Tour guide Barbie: I'm Tour Guide Barbie! Please keep your hands, arms, and acce...
Egyptian soldier: Out! Out, all of you! Dathan: Why do soldiers come here? I put no blood on my door! Egyptian soldier: Then stone bleeds! Dathan: Your stonecutter did this to me! Lilia: All your gold cannot wipe that mark from your door, Dathan, or ...
Mattie Ross: [Discussing the price of cotton] We got most of our cotton in early. We got 12 and a half cents a pound in Little Rock. Col. Stonehill: Then I suggest you take the rest of your crop to Little Rock to sell. Mattie Ross: This being closer,...
Kirk: So, where you heading, man? Hitchhiker: South. Franklin: You work at that place? The slaughter house? Hitchhiker: Uh... no. Sally: How'd you get stuck way out here? Hitchhiker: I was at the slaughter house. Franklin: I got an uncle who works in...
[having just gotten married] Clarence Worley: Well, hello, Mrs. Worley. Alabama: How do you do, Mr. Worley? Clarence Worley: Top o' the mornin', Mrs. Worley. Alabama: Bottom of the ninth, Mr. Worley. By the way, have you seen your lovely little wife ...
[Asked by a reporter if this is the end of Spinal Tap] David St. Hubbins: Well, I don't really think that the end can be assessed as of itself as being the end because what does the end feel like? It's like saying when you try to extrapolate the end ...
[Charlie and Grandpa Joe are floating in the fizzy lifting room] [Grandpa Joe does a somersault in midair] Charlie Bucket: Hey, you did it, Grandpa. Grandpa Joe: Ohhhh... ohhhh, I think I hit an air pocket. Charlie Bucket: You can fly to the moon thi...
Sergeant Howie: What religion can they possibly be learning jumping over bonfires? Lord Summerisle: Parthenogenesis. Sergeant Howie: What? Lord Summerisle: Literally, as Miss Rose would doubtless say in her assiduous way, reproduction without sexual ...
Dorothy: Goodbye, Tinman. Oh, don't cry! You'll rust so dreadfully. Here's your oil can. Tin Woodsman: Now I know I've got a heart, 'cause it's breaking... Dorothy: Goodbye, Lion. I know it isn't right, but I'm going to miss the way you used to holla...
[Eddie sneaks up on Maroon] Eddie Valiant: What's up, Doc? R.K. Maroon: Valiant, are you trying to give me a heart attack? Eddie Valiant: You need a heart, before you can have an attack. R.K. Maroon: Yeah, yeah. You got the will? Eddie Valiant: Sure....
Eddie Valiant: Say, Roger. That letter you wrote to your wife at the Ink and Paint Club? Why don't you read it to her now? Roger Rabbit: Sure thing, Eddie. "Dear Jessica: How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I, Marvin Acme, of sound mind and bo...
Summer: [Tom is listening to headphones in an elevator with Summer. She notices the music] I love the Smiths. Tom: Sorry? Summer: I said I love the Smiths. Summer: [they stare at each other for a moment] You... You have good taste in music. Tom: [rep...
McKenzie: Hey, don't you have like 20 cards to write by Friday? Tom: Nope, all done. McKenzie: Really? Well, could you help me with mine? Because I'm running out of ways to say "Congratulations". So far, I've got: "Congrats", "Good job" and "Well don...
Brad Dupree: [reading Lester's job description] "My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closel...
Mitzi: [as Felicia starts painting over the graffiti on their bus, which is stranded in the middle of nowhere] Purple? Felicia: It's not *purple*, it's *lavender*. Whaddaya think? Mitzi: It's nice... in a hideous sort of a way. Mitzi: [to Bernadette,...
William Miller: [on meeting Stillwater] Russell. Jeff. Ed. Larry. I really love your band. I think the song "Fever Dog" is a big step forward for you guys. I think you guys producing it yourselves, instead of Glyn Johns, was the right thing to do. An...
[Alvy addresses a pair of strangers on the street] Alvy Singer: Here, you look like a very happy couple, um, are you? Female street stranger: Yeah. Alvy Singer: Yeah? So, so, how do you account for it? Female street stranger: Uh, I'm very shallow and...
Otter: Mandy, Mandy Pepperidge. I haven't seen you since we... Mandy Pepperidge: Go away! Otter: I'm sorry, I can only stay a minute. Can I buy you some lunch? Oh, you got your lunch. Well, how about some milk? Got your milk too. Can I just massage y...
[last lines] Christy: [voiceover] It was as hard for Frankie to smile when the tumor was malignant as it was for my dad to cry after. But they both managed it. I'm going to switch this off now. It's not the way I want to see Frankie any more. Do you ...
