And if a diversion is needed, why not arrest a general? Arthur Dillon is a friend of eminent deputies, a contender for the post of Commander-in-Chief of the Northern Front; he has proved himself at Valmy and in a halfdozen actions since. In the Natio...
And then there's the perverse joy of subtly working in references to marathon training in daily life, say at the post office or while waiting outside my first-graders' classrooms at the end of the school day.
It is offensive that so many people feel that it is okay to publicly refer to transsexuals as being “pre-op” or “post-op” when it would so clearly be degrading and demeaning to regularly describe all boys and men as being either “circumcise...
I have a phenomenal team behind me who have helped get me here and I, along with them, will now put everything we can into the final few weeks of preparations before the Olympic Games, where I am aiming to race well, work well through the rounds, pos...
I need to feel as if everything is clean and in its proper place before I can even attempt to write one word. At least, that's what I tell myself. I make the bed, I put away the dishes, maybe I dust, maybe I do the laundry, maybe I go to the post off...
Human relationships are rich and they're messy and they're demanding. And we clean them up with technology. Texting, email, posting, all of these things let us present the self as we want to be. We get to edit, and that means we get to delete, and th...
Dear bullies, see that young boy you made fun of for crying? Last night his best friend committed suicide. See the girl you called fat? She's starving herself. See the old man you just made fun of cause of the ugly scars? He fought for our country. P...
Never presume to know a person based on the one dimensional window of the internet. A soul can’t be defined by critics, enemies or broken ties with family or friends. Neither can it be explained by posts or blogs that lack facial expressions, tone ...
Writing is for stories to be read, books to be published, poems to be recited, plays to be acted, songs to be sung, newspapers to be shared, letters to be mailed, jokes to be told, notes to be passed, recipes to be cooked, messages to be exchanged, m...
We have known for a long time that Prince Charles' empty sails are so rigged as to be swelled by any passing waft or breeze of crankiness and cant. He fell for the fake anthropologist Laurens van der Post. He was bowled over by the charms of homeopat...
Indeed, "brute force" solutions are often characteristic of advanced cultures, not primitive ones. The Romans and their predecessors spent a long time figuring out how to build arches... and virtually all our buildings today use post-and-lintel const...
[Yente has returned from the post office] Yente: The postman told me there was a letter for your sister, Hodel. Tzeitel: Thank you, I'll go and get it. Yente: I got it. It's, ah, from her intended, Perchik. Tzeitel: Oh, she'll be so happy, she's been...
Ambassador Lysenko: It seems that the initial reports that one of our submarines was missing were not completely accurate. The submarine in question... is commanded by Captain Marko Ramius. Apparently he's suffered a kind of mental or nervous break d...
Turkish Bey: I have been stationed in Dara for three and a half years. If I were posted to the dark side of the moon I could not be more isolated. You don't have the slightest idea what I'm talking about, do you? T.E. Lawrence: No, effendi. Turkish B...
Rizzo the Rat: Light the lamp, not the rat, light the lamp, not the rat! Put me out, put me out, put me out! Gonzo: Oh! My apologies! Um... [Suddenly spotting a barrel of water below the lamp post] Gonzo: Rizzo! Rizzo the Rat: What? ["Mr Dickens" pus...
Nemo's Father: There was a card from your mother in the post. You haven't looked at it. Nemo age 16: I know, I'll get to it. Nemo's Father: Aren't you going to see her one day? Nemo age 16: I haven't seen her for seven years. If she wanted to see me,...
[Patsy meets Peggy] Young Peggy: What do you want? Young Patsy: Me? Young Peggy: Mama said you were looking for me. Young Patsy: No, the guys told me that... [pause] Young Patsy: What? Young Patsy: I'll come back some other time... [leaves post-haste...
Mark "Rent-boy" Renton: I don't feel the sickness yet, but it's in the post. That's for sure. I'm in the junkie limbo at the moment. Too ill to sleep. Too tired to stay awake, but the sickness is on its way. Sweat, chills, nausea. Pain and craving. A...
I wrote a post about wanting to buy a banjo - a $300 banjo, which is a lot of money, and I don't play instruments; I don't know anything about music. I like music, and I like banjos, and I think I probably heard Steve Martin playing, and I said, 'I c...
Charlie Kaufman: You sound like your in a cult. Donald Kaufman: No, it's just good writing technique. Oh, I made you a copy of Mckee's ten commandments, I posted it over both our work stations. [Charlie tears the page from over his work area] Donald ...
Ben Bradlee: Look, McGovern's dropped to nothing, Nixon's guaranteed the renomination, the Post is stuck with a story no one else wants, it'll sink the goddamn paper. Everyone says, "Get off it, Ben", and I come on very sage and I say, uh, "Well, you...
