I never wanted to be road comic.
I'm a big fan of TV.
Hi, Billy Mays here for...
I'm not really a big candy eater.
I don't really like comedy.
I speed up past mirrors.
I was going to be a scientist.
The only shame is to have none.
I don't know who Little Richard is.
'Vacation' means titillating my taste buds.
I was born with an evil face.
It felt scary because there was no auditioning, no rehearsing.
I don't know a high C from a low C.
I could never, ever have an abortion.
You don't necessarily have to be in misery to be talented.
I had slumps that lasted into the winter.
I'm a fairly private person.
I'd like to have a go at directing.
This election ain't no stinkin' TV show.
I started doing stand-up in college.
I felt caged by my childhood.
