The idea of doing stand-up is terrifying to me.
Growing up, I was obsessed with Leonardo DiCaprio.
Grown-ups do a lot of complaining!
Skating is tough to pick up when you are a grown up.
I loved Lucille Ball growing up.
In my stand-up, I generally improvise from an outline.
T-Bird: FIRE IT UP! FIRE IT UP!
Sympathy is charming, but it does not make up for pain.
I wanted to play some more grown-up music - jazz.
Men look like pandas when they try and put make-up on.
I can tell you this: Stand-up is not glamorous.
Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president, but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.
Sin builds up. Forgiveness cleans up.
If you stand up for women, then don't bash me.
Growing up is made up of a million small moments in time, and one of the most painful is the moment you're severed from the whole, when you realise that your parent is complicated, and fallible and human.
A housewife's work has no results: it simply has to be done again. Bringing up children is not a real occupation, because children come up just the same, brought up or not.
Here's what I think...There is no unfucked up. People think there is, but there's not. We're all fucked up in different ways. It's simply a question of making your fuck-ups work for you."-Aidan
Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.
It wasn't until I left that I realised it's not weird to grow up in certain cities and, by the age of 27 or 28, for all of your friends to still be alive. I can think of a lot of kids that I knew in Chicago who were supposed to grow up but didn't.
I do not run late. Growing up on a farm, you're just not late when it's time to do chores or go to work. I grew up Mennonite, and so that work ethic and timeliness was just ingrained in me from a very young age.
Someone once said that every man is trying to live up to his father's expectations or make up for their father's mistakes....
