Eddie Valiant: So, how long have you known it was Doom? Jessica Rabbit: Before poor Marvin was killed, he confided in me that Judge Doom wanted to get his hands on Toontown, and he wouldn't stop at anything. Eddie Valiant: So he gave you the will for...
Eddie Valiant: What's with him? Betty Boop: Mr. Acme never misses a night when Jessica performs. Eddie Valiant: Got a thing for rabbits, huh?
Eddie Valiant: The job will cost you a hundred bucks, plus expenses. R.K. Maroon: A hundred bucks? That's ridiculous! Eddie Valiant: So's the job.
[Eddie Valiant sits down at the Ink and Paint Club; Marvin Acme squirts ink from his pen on Eddie's shirt and laughs] Eddie Valiant: You think that's funny? Marvin Acme: It's a panic! Eddie Valiant: [grabs Acme by the lapels] You won't think it's fun...
Jessica Rabbit: Mr. Valiant? [Valiant turns around; Jessica slaps him] Jessica Rabbit: I hope you're proud of yourself, and those pictures you took.
Roger Rabbit: [Emerges from the closet and slaps cuffs on Eddie] Eddie Valiant, you're under arrest! Pbbbbbbbbb... Eddie Valiant: Get outta there! Idiot, I got no keys for these cuffs!
Roger Rabbit: You're also the guy that helped all these Toons, everybody knows if a Toon's in trouble, there's only one place to go, Valiant and Valiant
Eddie Valiant: GET OUT OF THAT CHAIR!... That's my brother's chair. Roger Rabbit: [looking at photo on desk] Yeah, where is your brother anyway? He looks like a sensitive and... SOBER fellow. Eddie Valiant: That's it. I'm calling the cops. Roger Rabb...
Eddie Valiant: Forget it. I don't work Toontown. R.K. Maroon: What's wrong with Toontown? Every Joe loves Toontown. Eddie Valiant: Then get Joe to do the job, 'cause I ain't going.
[Eddie gets $50 for a $100 job] Eddie Valiant: Where's the other fifty? R.K. Maroon: Let's call the other fifty a carrot to finish the job. Eddie Valiant: You've been hanging around rabbits too long.
Eddie Valiant: This singing ain't my line / It's hard to make a rhyme / If I get stuck, I'm... I'm out of luck, and... and... Jessica Rabbit: I'm running out of time! Eddie Valiant: Thanks.
R.K. Maroon: Roger, I know this seems pretty painful now, but you'll find someone new. Won't he, Mr. Valiant? Eddie Valiant: Good looking guy like that? Dames will be breaking his doors down. Roger Rabbit: Dames? What dames? [Angrily grabbing Eddie b...
Roger Rabbit: Listen, my philosophy is this: If you don't have a good sense of humor, you're better off dead. Eddie Valiant: You might just get your wish if we don't find out what happened to this. [Tosses a photo at Dolores] Roger Rabbit: What is it...
R.K. Maroon: How much do you know about show business, Mr. Valiant? Eddie Valiant: Only that there is no business like it, no business I know. R.K. Maroon: Yeah. And there's no business more expensive. I'm 25 grand over budget on the latest Baby Herm...
R.K. Maroon: Kinda jumpy, aren't you, Mr. Valiant? It's just Dumbo. Eddie Valiant: I KNOW who it is. R.K. Maroon: I got him on loan from Disney - him and half the cast of Fantasia. The best part is, they work for peanuts.
Jessica Rabbit: Oh, no. Where's Roger? Eddie Valiant: Roger?. He chickened out on me back at the studio. Jessica Rabbit: No he didn't. I hit him in the head with a frying pan and put him in the trunk... so he wouldn't get hurt. Eddie Valiant: Makes p...
Smart Ass: Don't make us play rough, Valiant. We just want the rabbit. Roger Rabbit: What are we gonna do, Eddie? What are we gonna do, Eddie? What are we gonna do? Eddie Valiant: What's all this "we" stuff? They just want the rabbit.
Judge Doom: You see, Mr. Valiant, the successful conclusion of this case draws the curtain on my career as a jurist in Toontown. I'm retiring, taking a new role in the private sector. Eddie Valiant: That wouldn't be Cloverleaf Industries, by any chan...
Jessica Rabbit: Oh, no! Where's Roger? Eddie Valiant: Roger? He chickened out on me back at the studio. Jessica Rabbit: No, he didn't. I hit him over the head with a frying pan and stuck him in the trunk. So he wouldn't get hurt. Eddie Valiant: Makes...
Smart Ass: We searched Valiant boss. The will ain't on him. Judge Doom: Then frisk the woman. Greasy: *I'll* handle this one... [He puts his hand down her dress and feels around for a beat before screaming in pain and removing his hand which has been...
Eddie Valiant: I'm through with taking falls / And bouncing off the walls / Without that gun, I'd have some fun / I'd kick you in the... [bottle falls on his head] Roger Rabbit: Nose! Smart Ass: Nose? That don't rhyme with "walls." Eddie Valiant: No,...
