[Judge Doom about to "dip" Roger] Eddie Valiant: Hey, Judge. Doesn't a dying rabbit deserve a last request? Roger Rabbit: Yeah, nose plugs would be nice. Eddie Valiant: I think you want a drink. So, how about it, Judge? Judge Doom: Well, why not? I d...
Eddie Valiant: So why come to me? I'm the one who took the pictures of your wife. Roger Rabbit: Yeah, and you're also the one who helped all these toons. Everyone knows that when a toon's in trouble, there's only one place to go: Valiant & Valiant. E...
R.K. Maroon: What are you going to do to me, Valiant? Eddie Valiant: I'm going to listen to you spin the Cloverleaf scenario. The story of greed, sex and murder. And the parts that I don't like, I'm going to edit out. R.K. Maroon: You got it all wron...
In peace be faithful; in war be valiant.
Betty Boop: Cigars? Cigarettes?... Eddie Valiant! Eddie Valiant: [turns around] Betty! Betty Boop: Long time, no see! Eddie Valiant: What are you doing here? Betty Boop: Work's been kinda slow since cartoons went to color. But I still got it, Eddie! ...
Eddie Valiant: Weren't you the one I caught playing pattycake with old man Acme? Jessica Rabbit: You didn't catch me, Mr. Valiant. You were set up to take those pictures. Eddie Valiant: What are you talking about? Jessica Rabbit: Maroon wanted to bla...
[Eddie sneaks up on Maroon] Eddie Valiant: What's up, Doc? R.K. Maroon: Valiant, are you trying to give me a heart attack? Eddie Valiant: You need a heart, before you can have an attack. R.K. Maroon: Yeah, yeah. You got the will? Eddie Valiant: Sure....
Eddie Valiant: Can I borrow your camera? Mine's at the shop. Dolores: Wouldn't be the pawn shop, by any chance? Eddie Valiant: C'mon, Dolores. You want the other fifty, I need the camera. [Dolores hands Eddie the camera] Eddie Valiant: Any film in th...
Judge Doom: [deleted scene] Rummaging around in a lady's dressing room? Tsk, tsk, tsk. What were you looking for, Mr. Valiant? Jessica Rabbit: Last week, some heavy breather wanted one of my nylons as a souvenir. Eddie Valiant: Look, doll, if I'd wan...
Smart Ass: Okay, wise-guy. Where's the rabbit? Eddie Valiant: Haven't seen 'im. Smart Ass: [sniffs suspiciously at the sink] What's in there? Eddie Valiant: [holds up a dirty sock] My lingerie. Smart Ass: [yelps, winces, and covers his nose] I see, V...
Eddie Valiant: What's that? Lt. Santino: Remember how they always thought there wasn't a way to kill a toon? Well, Doom found a way. Turpentine, acetone, benzene. He calls it "The Dip." Judge Doom: I'll catch the rabbit, Mr. Valiant. And I'll try him...
Eddie Valiant: Everything's funny to you, ain't it, needlenose? Smart Ass: You got a problem with that, Valiant? Eddie Valiant: No, I just want you to know something about the guy you're gonna dip. [Pulls a lever on a calliope, which plays "The Merry...
Roger Rabbit: [Crying] No wonder you hate me. If a toon killed my brother, I'd hate me too. Eddie Valiant: Come on, don't cry. I don't hate you. Roger Rabbit: Yes, you do. Eddie Valiant: No, I don't. Roger Rabbit: You do hate me. Otherwise, you would...
Bullet #1: What in Sam Hill? Bullet #2: Eddie Valiant! Why, you're a sight for sore eyes. Bullet #1: I ain't seen you nigh onto five years. Bullet #2: Where've you been? Eddie Valiant: Drunk. You feeling frisky tonight, fellas? Bullet #1, Bullet #2:...
Judge Doom: You wouldn't have any idea where the rabbit might be, Mr. Valiant? Eddie Valiant: Have you tried Walla Walla? Cucamonga? I hear Kokomo's very nice this time of the year. Judge Doom: I'm surprised you're not more cooperative, Mr. Valiant. ...
Eddie Valiant: You crazy rabbit! I'm out there risking my neck for you, and what are you doing? Singing and dancing! Roger Rabbit: But I'm a toon. Toons are supposed to make people laugh. Eddie Valiant: Sit down! Roger Rabbit: You don't understand. T...
[Bongo catches Eddie spying on Jessica] Bongo: What do you think you're doing, chump? Eddie Valiant: Who are you callin' a chump, chimp? [Picks up Eddie and carries him to the backstage door] Bongo: GRRRR! [Throws Eddie into the garbage] Eddie Valian...
Dolores: Tomorrow's Friday, Eddie. You know what happens here on Friday? Eddie Valiant: Fish special? Dolores: Well, my boss checks the books on Friday. And if I don't have that money I gave you back in the till, I'm gonna lose my job. Eddie Valiant:...
[Eddie is about to pick up the hand buzzer that fell off of Acme's corpse when Judge Doom stops him with his cane] Judge Doom: Is this man removing evidence from the scene of the crime? Lt. Santino: Ah, no, Judge Doom. Valiant here was just picking i...
Eddie Valiant: [after discovering the flattened Doom getting up and wobbling to his feet] Holy smoke, he's a Toon! Judge Doom: Surprised? Eddie Valiant: Not really. That lame-brained freeway idea could only be cooked up by a Toon. Judge Doom: Not jus...
Eddie Valiant: Anybody know you're here? Roger Rabbit: Nobody. Not a soul, except, uh... Eddie Valiant: Who? Roger Rabbit: Well, you see, I didn't know where your office was. So I asked the newsboy. He didn't know. So I asked the fireman, the green g...
