Joe: I don't think it's nice, you laughin'. You see, my mule don't like people laughing. He gets the crazy idea you're laughin' at him. Now if you apologize, like I know you're going to, I might convince him that you really didn't mean it.
Richard Nixon: You know those parties of yours, the ones I read about in the newspapers. Do you actually enjoy those? David Frost: Of course. Richard Nixon: You have no idea how fortunate that makes you, liking people. Being liked. Having that facili...
Melissa: I just wish your friends were as mature as you. Stu Price: They are mature, actually. You just have to get to know them better. Phil Wenneck: [yells from outside] Paging Dr. Faggot. Dr. Faggot! Stu Price: I should go. Melissa: That's a good ...
Getty: You have an idea? Murph: A feeling. I told you about my ghost. My dad thought I called it a ghost because I was afraid of it... but I was never afraid of it. I called it a ghost because it felt like a person; like it was trying to communicate....
Peter Warne: I never did like the idea of sitting on newspapers. I did it once, and all the headlines came off on my white pants. On the level! It actually happened. Nobody bought a paper that day. They just followed me around over town and read the ...
Helen: E, it's great to see you, but I gotta tell you, I've got no idea what you're talking about. Edna: Yes, words are useless! Gobble-gobble-gobble-gobble-gobble! Too much of it, darling, too much! That is why I show you my work! That is why you ar...
Mike: I think I have a plan here: using mainly spoons, we dig a tunnel under the city and release it into the wild. Sulley: Spoons? Mike: That's it, I'm out of ideas. We're closed. Hot air balloon? Too expensive. Giant slingshot? Too conspicuous. Eno...
Director Burgess: Who's the victim? John Anderton: Somebody. Director Burgess: Who? John Anderton: [trying to remember the name] Somebody. Leo Crow. Director Burgess: Who is he? John Anderton: I have no idea! I've never heard of him! But I'm supposed...
H.I.: If it's all the same to you, Honey, I think I'll skip this little get together, slip out with the boys and knock back a couple of Coca Colas. [Ed gives him a look of disapproval] H.I.: I guess that wouldn't be such a good idea. Gale: So many so...
Jeffrey Goines: There was this guy, and he was always requesting shows that had already played. Yes. No. You have to tell her before. He couldn't quite grasp the idea that the charge nurse couldn't make it be yesterday. She couldn't turn back time, t...
I believe the better I can write on my own, the better I can be of service in a co-write. The big thing with a co-write is trust, and it's not so much what you get the first time you sit down with that writer. It's the relationship that you build tha...
I'm one of those sad cases who've never wanted to be anything but a writer. I started writing my first novel when I was five years old. I have no idea what it was about, but I do remember spending considerable time trying to get the title right, thou...
Even when disco went out, I could still make hits. Once I had so much success, every idea became concentrated. I had so much confidence. I knew how the bass should sound, what rhythms would work. The tempos I knew: 110 to 120 BPM. I knew they would d...
I've always wondered what it would be like if the Messiah, or Christ Returned, were actually alive and living in our society; who would that person be, how we would identify them, how would they live and what would they believe in, how would society ...
I had no idea how difficult Sondheim's music would be. All through the rehearsals, I kept flubbing. There were so many tempo changes. I could never get through the opening number without any mistakes. One day, I went up to Hal Prince and offered to l...
I can say, 'Well, I'm a male. I'm a male human. I'm a medical doctor. I'm an author...' If I go to a religious point of view, I will say, 'I am a soul. I am a spirit.' If I go into science, I will say, 'I am energy. I am light.' But the truth is I ha...
Adam: Why didn't we go to a barber? Kyle: That would have been a good idea if we paid someone to do it. Adam: Using your fucking balls trimmer instead of going to the barber. Kyle: I never washed them, ever. It's not my balls, it's my asshole. I'm jo...
Patrick Bateman: There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you c...
A word that turns up in TNR’s literary pieces is “tasteless. “ They use it in the same way you might reprove a toilet joke at the dinner table or around relatives. But with them it takes on moral weight. It’s a very damaging mistake: the idea...
After you do a joke a few times, you have material that you know works. Although sometimes I have a joke that has worked a bunch of times and then one night it'll flop. And that's when I really take a hard look at myself and say: 'Well, that crowd is...
There's a way to preach the Bible unbiblically...You can use the Bible as the springboard for all kinds of ideas, can't you? Look around in here and find something that fits your fancy and then launch a rocket off it. People say, 'That was amazing, w...
