[Todd and Margo Chester, the Griswold's yuppie neighbors, appear] Todd: Hey Griswold. Where do you think you're gonna put a tree that big? Clark: Bend over and I'll show you. Todd: You've got a lot of nerve talking to me like that Griswold. Clark: I ...
Mr. Frank Shirley: [to Clark] You're fired! And where's the phone? I'm calling the police! Eddie: Now, just hold your wad there, fella. Clark had nothin' to do with this. This here, was my idea. Mr. Frank Shirley: All right, he's still fired. And, *y...
Audrey Griswold: [Looking at Vicki's trophy for hog raising] Uh, don't take this personally, Vicki; but being a farmer isn't too cool you know. Cousin Vicki: Oh, yeah? Well, how cool is this? [Reaches under her bed and pulls out a shoebox full of mar...
Rusty Griswold: Hey, ya' got Pac Man? Cousin Dale: No. Rusty Griswold: Ya' got Space Invaders? Cousin Dale: Nope. Rusty Griswold: Ya' got Asteroids? Cousin Dale: Naw, but my dad does. Can't even sit on the toilet some days.
Aunt Edna: Did you tell Clark and Ellen the good news? Catherine: [nervously] Uh, no; I was just about to. Ellen Griswold: Good news, what good news, Catherine? Aunt Edna: You're driving me to Phoenix! [Clark begins choking on his hamburger]
I used to work in kitchens, doing 12 or more hours a day of physical labor, so today, eight to 12 hours of cooking, chatting or filming feels like a vacation. When I have a scheduled 'day off,' I spend several hours writing, then I clean until I cras...
[T]hat old September feeling, left over from school days, of summer passing, vacation nearly done, obligations gathering, books and football in the air ... Another fall, another turned page: there was something of jubilee in that annual autumnal begi...
You don't scare me, Cadence Jones. I've lived with crazy, I've ridden with crazy, I've vacationed with crazy, I've visited crazy in various hospitals, I've sat in on therapy sessions with crazy. Frankly, I think women who don't have major emotional d...
You are living far too much in the realms of your head. That is an ugly, mean, scary place to be. I am not just saying your head is nasty, everyone's head is. You need to vacate that premise immediately and start living in your heart. Your heart is a...
Or take a vacation. Everywhere in America is pretty much the same, and I don't recommend going overseas, not with the way the world regards us. It's just not safe now, safe being one of those words like free or clean or sincere that can never be said...
Why were things funny? Was God laughing at us? Or was laughter the dispensation of God? Maybe laughter itself was Godlike. When we laugh, we rise above pain. We rise above indignity. We even rise above incredulity. We "get it." Maybe in the way God "...
I've talked to a number of actors who have gained weight for roles, and just the sheer physical toll it puts on one's knees and shoulders - no one wants to do it again. I'm 57 and I don't think I'm going to take on any job or go on vacation again and...
Idleness is not just a vacation, an indulgence or a vice; it is as indispensable to the brain as vitamin D is to the body, and deprived of it we suffer a mental affliction as disfiguring as rickets. The space and quiet that idleness provides is a nec...
I've only read three books by Stephen King. When I was 10 I read 'The Long Walk,' one of his pseudonymous Bachman books. In my early 20s, while trapped on a family vacation, I read 'The Dark Half,' which taught me a word I have never forgotten: psych...
Getting responses on "Through the Milky Way" that it is creating an emotional investment by some of my readers. A gentleman I have know for awhile took the book on a vacation to the beach. While reading it, his wife came up to him and asked him why h...
Clark: [Clark is about to cut the rope holding the branches of his huge Christmas tree] I give you the Griswold family Christmas tree. [He cuts the rope, and the branches fly out, breaking windows and surrounding Clark] Clark: Lotta sap in here! Mmmm...
[after Clark fails at lighting all the exterior Christmas lights at the "lighting ceremony" in front of the entire family] Frances: Talk about pissing your money away. I hope you kids see what a silly waste of resources this was. Audrey: He worked re...
Clark: Whew, it's warm in here. Mary: Well you have your coat on. Clark: Ah yes I do, why is that? Mary: Because it's cold out. Clark: Yes it is, it's a bit nipply out. I mean nippy out, what did I say, nipple? Huh, there is a nip in the air.
Ellen: [sees Clark standing up and looking out the window] Aren't you having any breakfast? Clark: I'm not in the mood. Ellen: What are you looking at? Clark: Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn; the clean, cool chill of the holiday air; and an...
Santa: [from in the bag] Me on vacation? On Christmas Eve? Barrel: Where are we taking him? Shock: Where? Lock: To Oogie Boogie, of course. There's no where in the whole world more comfortable than *that*. And Jack *said* to make him comfortable, did...
Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld: That's not a real gun, is it Clark? Clark: Are you kidding? This is a Magnum P.I. Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld: It's a BB gun! Clark: Don't tempt me. I could put an eye out with this thing. Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld: You...
