You take a vacation to a place like Thailand and you're ready for the excitement of something new and foreign. But when you're working 14-hour days, all you want is something familiar to ground you. And there's just nothing there.
I don't wanna go on vacation. There's nothing about it that appeals to me. People look forward to doing that; I look forward to getting up every day and doing something.
Half the time on vacation, if I'm in a bikini, I allow myself - I eat, like, waffles and pancakes for breakfast, so that's me after, like, a big meal. I'm not the one that's like, 'Oh my gosh, I'm going to be on the beach.'
Aunt Bethany: What's that sound? You hear it? It's a funny squeaky sound. Uncle Lewis: You couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.
Todd: Well, something had to come through the window! Something had to break the stereo! Margo: And why is the carpet all wet, *Todd*? Todd: I don't *know*, Margo!
Clark: Catherine, if this turkey tastes half as good as it looks, we're all in for a real treat! Eddie: Save the neck for me, Clark. Clark: Okay Eddie...
Audrey: I hope nobody I know drives by and sees me standing in the yard staring at the house in my pajamas. Art: If they know your dad, they won't think anything of it.
Clark: [a squirrel is loose in the house] Where is Eddie? He usually eats these goddam things. Cousin Catherine Johnson: Not recently, Clark. He read that squirrels were high in cholesterol.
Audrey: Do you sleep with your brother? Do you know how sick and twisted that is? Ellen: Well, I'm sleeping with your father. Don't be so dramatic.
Eddie: [holding Aunt Bethany's present] This one here, is leaking. [Ellen sticks her finger in the leak. Eddie leans over and sucks it off her finger] Eddie: It's lime!
Clark: I can't believe you're standing here in my living room, Eddie. Never thought the day would come. Eddie: Yeah I'm excited about it too.
Celia: [answering phone calls] Monsters Inc., please hold. Monsters Inc., I'll connect you. Mrs. Scaremonger is on vacation. Would you like her voice mail?
Rusty Griswold: Is that a real gun, Mom? Ellen Griswold: I don't know, Rusty, but when this is all over, your father... may be going away for a little while.
Cousin Vicki: I'm going steady, and I French kiss. Audrey Griswold: So? Everybody does that. Cousin Vicki: Yeah, but Daddy says I'm the best at it.
Rusty Griswold: Mom, my sandwich is all wet. Ellen Griswold: They're all wet... Oh God!... The dog wet on the picnic basket.
Lasky: Has your father ever killed anyone? Rusty: Just a dog. Oh and my Aunt Edna. Clark: Hey you can't prove that Russ.
Ellen Griswold: Lord, we loved this woman with all our heart. Audrey Griswold: Let's not overdo it, mom. Ellen Griswold: Shut up.
Ellen Griswold: [into a phone] I'm not sure of his exact height and weight. All I know is the man was a saint with children and a genius with food additives and he was... Clark!
Lasky: Rusty, may I call you Rusty? I had a bad experience on this ride once. Rusty: What happened? Lasky: I threw up.
Cousin Eddie: [at the cookout] Aunt Edna! Supper's gettin' cold! Clark Griswald: [to Ellen] Is that *your* Aunt Edna? [Ellen slinks away from the table]
I don't want to be entertained. I don't want visuals or musicals. I don't want a vacation. I don't want to quit. I don't want sympathy. The cry of my heart is 'Just Give Me Jesus.'
