Funboy: Jesus Christ! Eric Draven: Jesus Christ? Stop me if you heard this one: Jesus Christ walks into a hotel. [Fun Boy shoots him] Eric Draven: Ow! He hands the innkeeper three nails, and he asks... [Fun Boy shoots him again] Funboy: Don't you eve...
Vinny Forlano: He won't talk. Stone is a good kid. Stand-up guy, just like his old man. That's the way I see it. Vincent Borelli: I agree. He's solid. A fuckin' Marine. Americo Capelli: He's okay. He always was. Remo, what do you think? Remo Gaggi: L...
[about halfway through the film; Nicky has just calmed Ginger down after Lester was beat up by her husband's thugs] Nicky Santoro: [about her drinking] And take it easy with this shit, will you? I mean, this can only make matters worse. You're a beau...
Charles: Sheeta, can you make pudding? I *love* pudding! Louis: I get to lick the spatula! Henri: And I like chocolate cake with that... Oh, what's that frosting? It's kinda pink and swirly with... Dola: Will you shut up? [to Pazu and Sheeta] Dola: A...
Head Elf: COME ON, KID! [pulls Ralphie] Head Elf: COME ON! Santa Claus: HO! HO HO! [spins Ralphie around] Santa Claus: HOOOO... HOOO... HOO... And what's your name little boy? Male Elf: Hey, kid! HURRY UP! THE STORE'S CLOSING! Head Elf: Listen little...
Jasper Sitwell: What do you want? Sam Wilson: You're gonna go around the corner to your right. There's a gray car two spaces down. You and I are gonna take a ride. Jasper Sitwell: And why would I do that? Sam Wilson: Because that tie looks really exp...
Carlito: I'm reloaded! Okay? Come on in here, you motherfuckers! Come on, I'm waitin' for ya! What, you ain't comin' in? Okay, I'm comin' out! Oh, you up against me now, motherfuckers! I'm gonna blow your fuckin' brains out! You think you're big time...
[Boarding Kleinfeld's boat] Frankie Taglialucci: What's with the extra guy? [referring to Carlito] David Kleinfeld: Carlito, this is one of Tony's son's, Frankie. Frankie Taglialucci: Nah, it's Frank. David Kleinfeld: Whatever... Frankie Taglialucci:...
Wikus Van De Merwe: Oh! I haven't shown you a picture of my wife! Here she is, my angel. I tell people she actually looks like an angel, you see here? The white looks like a halo on her head. Can you see that? She's my angel, you're picking that up o...
Leon: I couldn't explain why I did the things I did. So I went to this psychiatrist who explained to me I was a woman in a man's body. So Sonny right away wanted to get me money for a sex change operation: but where was he to get that? 2500 dollars! ...
Dreyfus: [addressing the crowd] We've been through hell together! We spent four years, FOUR YEARS fighting that virus, and then another four fighting each other! It was chaos... But you all know what we're up against. And I want you to know, it's not...
[Chief Bosun enters the torpedo room, which has been dressed up as a red light room] Chief Bosun: QUIET IN THIS WHOREHOUSE! [the crew falls silent] Chief Bosun: Bad news, men. Ario: What's wrong? Chief Bosun: [pause] Schalke lost the game. 5-0. No mo...
Richard Barkley: Mr Woodroof, I'm afraid that you're nothing more than a common drug dealer, so if you'll excuse us... Ron Woodroof: Oh, I'm the drug dealer? No, you're the fuckin' drug dealer. I mean, goddamn, people are dyin'. And y'all are up ther...
Elizabeth: [Elizabeth talking on the phone] Do you remember that weird gym teacher Mrs Farmer? - Yeah okay, well my brother told her to go shove a book up her ass today. And then my parents bought him all this new shit. - Yeah, I know. I wish a jet e...
Roger: Hey, man, we can't carry all this shit. [Peter wheels a gardening cart up with all of their supplies] Roger: Oh, I see, we're just gonna wheel right by 'em, right? Peter: We're gonna try, brother. We ain't doin' this for the exercise, so we mi...
[Roger and Peter are startled by the Old Priest] Old Priest: Señores, please to let me pass. Roger: Let's get him to the med unit. Old Priest: No, no, please. Just let me pass. I go up to seventh floor to find my sister; just let me pass. The people...
The Big Man: Rapists and murders may be the victims according to you, but I, I call them dogs. And if they're lapping up their own vomit, the only way to stop them is with a lash. Grace: But dogs only obey their own nature, so why shouldn't we forgiv...
François Pignon: [after hanging up the phone] That was your sister. Pierre Brochant: I don't have a sister. François Pignon: [appears confused] Really? I asked her who she was, and she said "His sister". Pierre Brochant: [incredously to himself] He...
[Karl and Theo pull up in their car and come through the revolving door] Theo: So Kareem rebounds, right? Feeds Worthy on the break, over to A.C., to Magic, then back to Worthy! Right? [Karl shoots and kills the desk guard with a perfectly timed aim]...
Harry Callahan: Are you trying to tell me that ballistics can't match the bullet up to this rifle? District Attorney Rothko: It does not matter what ballistics can do. This rifle might make a nice souvenir. But it's inadmissible as evidence. Harry Ca...
Bruce Wayne: You know that day that you once told me about, when Gotham would no longer need Batman? It's coming. Rachel Dawes: Bruce. You can't ask me to wait for that. Bruce Wayne: It's happening now. Harvey is that hero. He locked up half of the c...
