Humor is so subjective, not everyone is going to get what you are peddling. Others will be offended when what you meant no offense whatsoever. Those are the stakes. You have to be able to stand up for yourself and what you’ve written. Comedy pushes...
After I had been studying with him for two years, Schoenberg said, "In order to write music, you must have a feeling for harmony." I explained to him that I had no feeling for harmony. He then said that I would always encounter an obstacle, that it w...
Hello." The doctor speaks softly, nervously. Mr White doesn't respond, not even the slightest change of expression. Dr Archer has been thinking. Mulling it over in his head, endlessly, driving himself more insane he thinks than any unfortunate in his...
There are two kinds of geniuses: the 'ordinary' and the 'magicians'. An ordinary genius is a fellow whom you and I would be just as good as, if we were only many times better. There is no mystery as to how his mind works. Once we understand what they...
A dialogue is very important. It is a form of communication in which question and answer continue till a question is left without an answer. Thus the question is suspended between the two persons involved in this answer and question. It is like a bud...
Ordell Robbie: I got this young nineteen year old country girl named Sheronda. I found her on a bus stop two days outta Georgia, barefoot, country as a chicken coop. I took her to my place in Compton, told her it was Hollywood. Louis: She believed yo...
[first lines] Lorenzo: This is a true story about friendship that runs deeper than blood. This is my story and that of the only three friends in my life that truely mattered. Two of them were killers who never made it past the age of 30. The other's ...
Juno: [as Adam and Barbara come back to the afterlife] You two have really screwed up! I received word that you allowed yourselves to be photographed, and you let Betelgeuse out and didn't put him back, and you let Otho get hold of the handbook! Adam...
Dad: Top of volume two, first four tracks. You've got "Band on the Run" into "My Sweet Lord" into "Jealous Guy" into "Photograph." Come on! It's like the perfect segue. You've got Paul who takes you to the party, George who talks to you about God, Jo...
[last lines] Christine Collins: Three boys made a run for it that night, detective, and if one got out, then maybe either or both of the other two did too. Maybe Walter's out there having the same fears that he did. Afraid to come home and identify h...
Charles Foster Kane: As Charles Foster Kane who owns eighty-two thousand, six hundred and thirty-four shares of public transit - you see, I do have a general idea of my holdings - I sympathize with you. Charles Foster Kane is a scoundrel. His paper s...
Reporter: Bob Johnson, Boston Globe. Two days ago, we ran a story about you giving your relief money back. Can you tell our readers why? Jim Braddock: I believe we live in a great country, a country that's great enough to help a man financially when ...
Rick: What makes you think I'd stick my neck out for Laszlo? Captain Renault: Because, one, you bet 10.000 francs he'd escape. Two, you've got the letters of transit. Don't bother to deny it. And you might want to do it simply because you don't like ...
Nicky Santoro: You call yourself a man? You know you're a lyin', low-life, motherfuckin' gambling degenerate prick? You know that's what you are? Two small kids at home. I gave you money to pay the fuckin' rent and buy groceries, put the heat on. You...
Ralphie as Adult: Immediately, my feet began to sweat as those two fluffy little bunnies with a blue button eye stared sappily up at me. Mother: Come down so I can see you better. Ralphie as Adult: I just hope Flick would never spot them as a word of...
Christabella Andreoli: Hey. In two minutes, you won't be thinking about Mary Ann ever again. Come here. John Milton: She's right, my son. [Milton lays a nuded Christabella on the altar] John Milton: It's time to step up and take what's yours. Kevin L...
Donnie: Well, life isn't that simple. I mean, who cares if Ling Ling returns the wallet and keeps the money? It has nothing to do with either fear or love. Kitty Farmer: Fear and love are the deepest of human emotions. Donnie: Okay. But you're not li...
Caron: You know, sir, what they'll do to you if you don't catch this man in time... Lebel: I've been given a job to do, so we'll just have to do it. Caron: But no crime has been committed yet, so where are we supposed to start looking for the crimina...
The Interrogator: You're being very foolish, Victor. You know yourself, they always talk in the end. You've seen it with your own two eyes in... where was it, Indochina? And Algeria, of course. Why don't you tell us what they're waiting for in that h...
[while Grumpy overpowers two of the tellers in the bank, Happy and Dopey wait for the silent alarm to come] Dopey: Here comes the silent alarm... [disables it by pressing a button] Dopey: And there it goes. [pause] Dopey: That's funny, it didn't dial...
Billy Costigan: No, I gotta get out. I can't be doing this anymore. You know what's gonna happen? Oliver Queenan: What? Billy Costigan: I know he's gonna find out who I am and he's gonna fucking kill me. Oliver Queenan: I'm really sorry... I swear to...
