Dave Moss: Cop couldn't find his dick with two hands and a map. Ricky Roma: What'd he beat you with his rubber bat? Dave Moss: He's got no right. Cop's got no right to speak to me like that. Ricky Roma: You gonna turn state's Dave Moss: Fuck you, Ric...
Harry: What happened to me? Ron: Well, you sort of went rigid. We thought maybe you were having a fit or something. Harry: And did either of you two, you know, pass out? Ron: No... I felt weird though, like I'd never be cheerful again. Harry: But som...
Officer Devereux: Hey, you know we've been looking for you two guys for a long time. You guys are always leaving the water running whenever you break in, now we know each and every house you guys have hit. Marv: Yeah. But remember, we're the wet band...
Chief Gillespie: [regarding Sam Wood's status as a suspect] We have the motive which is money, and the body which is dead! Tibbs: Sam didn't kill Colbert! Chief Gillespie: What makes you so sure? Tibbs: Because Colbert was killed HERE, driven back to...
Paul: Yeah, where's the old mixer? Grandfather: Here, Paulie. Paul: I've got a few words to say to you, two-faced John McCartney. John: Oh, leave him alone. He's back, isn't he? He can't help being old. Paul: What's being old got to do with it? He's ...
[last title card] Title card: The nameless warrior was executed as an assassin but buried as a hero. The King of Qin went on to conquer all of the six Kingdoms and unite the country. As China's first Emperor he completed the Great Wall to protect his...
Oliver Wood: Scared, Harry? Harry: A little. Oliver Wood: That's all right. I felt the same way before my first game. Harry: What happened? Oliver Wood: I, uh, I don't really remember. I took a bludger to the head two minutes in. Woke up in hospital ...
Neil McCauley: [has gun on a severely injured Waingro] Neil McCauley: Look at me. *Look at me!* Waingro: [doesn't want to and whimpers] Neil McCauley: Look at me! Waingro: [slowly pathetically looks upward] Neil McCauley: [fires two shots into Waingr...
SP Wong: Let me tell you a story. Two men need an organ transplant, but there's only one organ. So they play a game. They each put a card in their pocket. Whoever can guess the other's card wins the organ. Sam: You know I can see your card. SP Wong: ...
Manfred: Okay, listen, if either of you two can make it across that sinkhole in front of you, the sloth is yours. Sid: That's right, you losers! You take one step and you're dead. [Sid throws a rock, which bounces across the "sinkhole" without leavin...
Indiana Jones: Stay behind me, Short Round. Step where I step, and don't touch anything. [curious, Short Round touches a lamp. A door falls open, with two dessicated mummies falling out. Short Round yells and backpedals] Short Round: I step where you...
Henry: [to his young son] But you know, you know, the most scary bit for me? Thomas: When the water hit? Henry: No. After that, when I came up, I was on my own. That was the scariest part. And when I saw the two of you clinging to the tree, I didn't ...
Cooper: You're ruling out college for my son now? He's fifteen. Principal: Tom's score simply isn't high enough. Cooper: What's your waist line? What 32, 33 inseam? Principal: I'm not sure I see what you're getting at. Cooper: You're telling me it ta...
Farraj: Lord, can we not rest? [riding on the camel along with Lawrence and Daud] T.E. Lawrence: I told you, no rest till they know that I have Aqaba... Have you two slept in beds? Farraj? Daud? With sheets? [they nod like saying no] T.E. Lawrence: T...
Guido: [carrying his son through the camp] You are such a good boy. You sleep now. Dream sweet dreams. Maybe we are both dreaming. Maybe this is all a dream, and in the morning, Mommy will wake us up with milk and cookies. Then, after we eat, I will ...
Gandalf: Faramir? This is not the first halfing to have crossed your path. Faramir: No. Pippin: You've seen Frodo and Sam? Gandalf: Where? When? Faramir: In Ithilien. Not two days ago. Gandalf, they're taking the road to the Morgul Vale. Gandalf: And...
Zazu: [about Scar] There's one in every family sire. Two in mine, actually. And they always manage to ruin special occasions. Mufasa: What am I going to do with him? Zazu: He'd make a very handsome throw rug. Mufasa: [Surprised] Zazu! Zazu: And just ...
Eddie Morra: Just finish your story. Melissa: Well, I didn't take any more. And I didn't die. But after awhile I realized that I couldn't concentrate on anything for longer than 10 minutes, that I, uh, I missed deadlines, got lazy, slow, so slow, tha...
Cowboy: When you see the girl in the picture that was shown to you earlier today, you will say, "this is the girl". The rest of the cast can stay, that's up to you. But the choice for that lead girl is NOT up to you. Now... you will see me one more t...
Jonathan Mardukas: I got money, y'know. Jack Walsh: I'm sure you do. Jonathan Mardukas: I'll give you whatever you want. Jack Walsh: Start by shutting up. I know you all of two minutes and already I don't like ya. Jonathan Mardukas: Gee, that's too b...
[Frank Drebin is emptying out his files after being kicked off the force] Frank: Hey! The missing evidence in the Kelner case! My God, he really was innocent! Ed: He went to the chair two years ago, Frank. Frank: Well, uh... [Frank Drebin quickly sho...
