Dean Vernon Wormer: Have you boys seen your grade point averages yet? [the Deltas are silent] Dean Vernon Wormer: Well, have you? Hoover: I have, sir. I know it's a little below par... Dean Vernon Wormer: It's more than a little below par, Mr. Hoover...
Judge Weaver: One judge is quite like another. The only differences may be in the state of their digestions or their proclivities for sleeping on the bench. For myself, I can digest pig iron. And while I might appear to doze occasionally, you will fi...
Gerben Kuipers: [pointing to Tim's dead body] Do you know who this is? Rachel Stein aka Ellis de Vries: [nods] Gerben Kuipers: What do you have to say for yourself? Rachel Stein aka Ellis de Vries: This. [holds up the black book - which has the list ...
Jesse: [His dad texted him that his grandmother died] Anyway, so I called my dad, right, after I got the text, just, you know to tell him I was sorry but I think I got screwed up at some point said... Hey dad you're an orphan now. I don't think it wa...
Jesse: At least now we don't have to pretend that each new sexual experience is a life-altering event. Celine: I know. By now, you know, you've stuck it in so many places, it's like about to fall off. Jesse: Yeah, you know, and I can't realistically ...
[as the townspeople point guns at Bart, the newly arrived sheriff] Reverend Johnson: Gentlemen, gentlemen, allow not hatred to rule the day. [holds up his Bible] Reverend Johnson: As your spiritual leader, I implore you to pay heed to this good book ...
Poetry leads us to the unstructured sources of our beings, to the unknown, and returns us to our rational, structured selves refreshed. Having once experienced the mystery, plenitude, contradiction, and composure of a work of art, we afterward have a...
I did point out that I have no prophetic gifts. I write books because I tried to do something more useful and failed. Since I've been trained to write, I do that as a defense against total despair. And seeing people like you, who are actively engaged...
During my 20’s and 30’s at some point I started to think, “I have to give it up and I have to grow up.” But the truth is that I can never give it up and that’s another thing that I always tell people, especially young people: don’t even b...
The dark leaden mask hides the devil with a soul of deceit, with his warm syrupy vacuous words coercing, enticing and grasping with exposed sharpened claws, scratching slow at his prey's surface with bullet pointed precision, inserting the slow hot m...
In the land of the rejected, the field is flattened, open to much oppurtunity. Here flourish the weeds and nonstandard quality alike. No one aspires, because there is no pinnacle to reach — just be better than whoever is next to you. It is basic, f...
Keep going. No matter what you do, no matter how many times you screw up and think to yourself "there's no point to carry on", no matter how many people tell you that you can't do it - keep going. Don't quit. Don't quit because a month from now you w...
I've told you, there's no point keeping those. They're not tax-deductible,' my dad thundered. 'I think you'll find they are,' raged my mum like some sort of feral animal (a badger with TB perhaps). 'They're not. You only get VAT back on lunches outsi...
Do you know what she did today?" He leaned confidentially across the table, pointing at the dishes in the sink. "She went to the market and left all the breakfast dishes there and said she'd do them later. I know what she wanted. She expected me to d...
When I used to teach civil procedure as a law professor, I would begin the year by telling my students that 'civil procedure is the etiquette of ritualized battle.' The phrase, which did not originate with me, captured the point that peaceful, develo...
I think I wish I had never spanked my children, but I have. And they remember every instance like they tattooed it on their palms. I think it's a terrible lesson, to use physical punishment to make a point about not behaving, not being kind to their ...
I believe the target of anything in life should be to do it so well that it becomes an art. When you read some books they are fantastic, the writer touches something in you that you know you would not have brought out of yourself. He makes you discov...
I was shocked to read that Lord Ferrers, a Home Office minister, when booked for speeding and presented with a £40 fixed penalty with three penalty points, them wrote to the Suffolk police to thank them for catching him. There is a sickness in Engla...
Haleine contre haleine, échauffe-moi la vie, Mille et mille baisers donne-moi je te prie, Amour veut tout sans nombre, amour n’a point de loi Translated: Breath against breath warms my life. A thousand kisses give me I pray thee. Love says it all ...
As a writer, I need an enormous amount of time alone. Writing is 90 percent procrastination: reading magazines, eating cereal out of the box, watching infomercials. It's a matter of doing everything you can to avoid writing, until it is about four in...
One increasingly hears rumors of a reconciliation between science and religion. In major news magazines as well as at academic conferences, the claim is made that that belief in the success of science in describing the workings of the world is no lon...
