Del: You play with your balls a lot. Neal: I do NOT play with my balls. Del: Larry Bird doesn't do as much ball-handling in one night as you do in an hour! Neal: Are you trying to start a fight? Del: No. I'm simply stating a fact. That's all. You fid...
Vizzini: [Buttercup has jumped overboard and is in the water, trying to escape. Suddenly, horrible screeching is heard] Do you know what that sound is, Highness? Those are the shrieking eels! If you don't believe me, just wait. They always grow loude...
Brett: He... he's black... Jules: Go on... Brett: He's bald Jules: Does he look like a bitch? Brett: What? Jules: [Shoots Brett in the shoulder] DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH? Brett: No! Jules: Then why you try to fuck him like a bitch? Brett: I didn't.....
Charlie: Mr. Anderson? Can I ask you something? Bill: Yeah. Charlie: Why do nice people choose the wrong people to date? Bill: Are we talking about anyone specific? [Charlie nods] Bill: Well, we accept the love we think we deserve. Charlie: Can we ma...
Maxim de Winter: "I'll make a bargain with you," she said. "You'd look rather foolish trying to divorce me now after four days of marriage. So I'll play the part of a devoted wife, mistress of your precious Manderley. I'll make it the most famous sho...
Rocky: [Rocky is trying to make out with Adrian on their first date] Will you do me a favor? Take off these glasses. [Rocky takes off Adrian's frumpy glasses, revealing her beautiful eyes] Rocky: Now take off this hat. [Takes off her unattractive hat...
Princess Ann: I have to leave you now. I'm going to that corner there and turn. You must stay in the car and drive away. Promise not to watch me go beyond the corner. Just drive away and leave me as I leave you. Joe Bradley: All right. Princess Ann: ...
Hiss: [Prince John is sucking his thumb] Sire, if you don't mind my saying, you see you have a very loud thumb. [starts to hypnotize him] Hiss: Hypnosisss can cure you of your psychosis so easy. Prince John: [Snaps out of it and screams] No, no! None...
Joey Gazelle: [upon finding Anzor shot] What the fuck? Where's the kid? Huh? Where's the kid? Anzor "Duke" Yugorsky: Fuck him. I'm the one who's shot. Joey Gazelle: Who is he? Is he still in the house? Anzor "Duke" Yugorsky: The little snotfuck ran o...
Bertier: Hey, Julius I was thinking we could... Ronnie "Sunshine" Bass: He's taking a shower. Bertier: What do you want, man? Ronnie "Sunshine" Bass: You know what I want. [kisses him and Gary starts trying to punch him. The team is holding Gary back...
[in a hospital ward] Chas: Why did you try to kill yourself? Ethel: Don't press him right now. Richie: I wrote a suicide note. Chas: You did? Richie: Yeah. Right after I regained consciousness. Chas: Can we read it? Richie: No. Chas: Can you paraphra...
David Mills: I've been trying to figure something in my head, and maybe you can help me out, yeah? When a person is insane, as you clearly are, do you know that you're insane? Maybe you're just sitting around, reading "Guns and Ammo", masturbating in...
[R2 is trying to open the door as Storm Troopers shoot at them; he beeps] C-3PO: No! We're not interested in the hyperdrive on the Millenium Falcon, it's fixed! [R2 beeps again] C-3PO: Just open the door, you stupid lug! [he opens the door] C-3PO: I ...
Joe Gillis: [who has just has a visit from two men trying to repossess his car] [narrating] Joe Gillis: I was way ahead of the finance company. I knew they'd be becoming around and I wasn't taking any chances. So I kept it across the street in a park...
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: [trying to pay for his phone call] Just one second, operator. [to Guano] Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: They won't accept the call. Have you got 55 cents? Colonel "Bat" Guano: What, you don't think I'd go into combat with l...
Cmdr. Deanna Troi: [very drunk] Look. He wouldn't even talk to me unless I had a drink with him. And then, it took three shots of something called "tequila" just to find out that HE was the one we're looking for! And I've spent the last twenty minute...
Ann Newton: [Answering the phone] Newton's residence, Ann Newton speaking. Oh, hello, Mrs Henderson, this is Ann. No, Mother isn't here. A telegram? Well... [looks right, then left] Ann Newton: I don't see a pencil so I'll have to have her call you b...
Carlos: No one has ever picked me up and not wanted something. George: I think you picked me up. This is kind of a serious day for me. Carlos: Come on. What could be so serious for a guy like you? George: I'm just trying to get over an old love I gue...
Divya Narendra: You invented something in high school too, right? Mark Zuckerberg: An app for an MP3 player that recognizes your taste in music. Divya Narendra: Anybody try to buy it? Mark Zuckerberg: Microsoft. Divya Narendra: Wow. How much? Mark Zu...
Alvin Straight: There's no one knows your life better than a brother that's near your age. He knows who you are and what you are better than anyone on earth. My brother and I said some unforgivable things the last time we met, but, I'm trying to put ...
Charlotte Palmer: Miss Dashwood, if only Mr Willoughby had gone home to Combe Magna, we could have taken Miss Marianne to see him, for we live but half a mile away. Mr. Palmer: Five and a half. Charlotte Palmer: No, I cannot believe it is that far, f...
