Ralphie: Hey Dad! I bet you never guess what I got you for Christmas! The Old Man: [staring blissfully into space] A new furnace? Ralphie: [chuckling] He he, that's a good one Dad! Randy: [lauging] He he he! Ralphie as Adult: My old man was one of th...
[the Bumpus hounds break in the house and raid the kitchen] Mr. Parker: Holy smokes, the turkey! [the old man arrives too late to see that the dogs already devoured the turkey] Mr. Parker: Oh, my... God! You sons of - ! [the dogs leave out the back d...
Mama Fratelli: Now tell me where your other little friends are. Chunk: [crying] The fireplace. Mama Fratelli: Don't lie to me! Chunk: Honest. We went over to Mikey's dads place and we found this map that said that underneath this place there's buried...
Hildy Johnson: All I know is that instead of two weeks in Atlantic City with my bridegroom, I spent two weeks in a coal mine with John Krupsky. You don't deny that, do you Walter? Walter Burns: Deny it? I'm proud of it. We beat the whole country on t...
SP Wong: Let me tell you a story. Two men need an organ transplant, but there's only one organ. So they play a game. They each put a card in their pocket. Whoever can guess the other's card wins the organ. Sam: You know I can see your card. SP Wong: ...
George Bailey: [gazing eyes with Mary] Well, well, well. Freddie Othello: Now, to get back to my story, see? [in a trance, Mary hands Othello her drink, and George and Mary start dancing] Freddie Othello: Hey, this is MY dance! George Bailey: Oh, why...
[last lines] Narrator: In his wildest dreams Larry would never have imagined he'd once again be in this position, where precious minutes count. Tonight he could save a life. He knew Ronnie had done some bad things in the past, but so had Larry. You c...
Eddie Morra: Just finish your story. Melissa: Well, I didn't take any more. And I didn't die. But after awhile I realized that I couldn't concentrate on anything for longer than 10 minutes, that I, uh, I missed deadlines, got lazy, slow, so slow, tha...
Sara: [points her gun at the sugar cane field] Listen up, fucker! I have shot and buried three vagrants in the past year! So I don't care what hobo sob story you've got. I get a dozen a week, pal. It cuts no cash for me. But if you show your face her...
[first lines] Santa: 'Twas a long time ago, longer now than it seems in a place perhaps you've seen in your dreams. For the story you're about to be told began with the holiday worlds of auld. Now you've probably wondered where holidays come from. If...
Frank: It's the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day. Jane: Goodyear? Frank: No, the worst.
The Childlike Empress: Bastian. Why don't you do what you dream, Bastian? Bastian: But I can't, I have to keep my feet on the ground! The Childlike Empress: Call my name. Bastian, please! Save us! Bastian: All right! I'll do it! I'll save you! I will...
Rock Biter: We can't wait for a snail. Can I carry you? Teeny Weeny: Don't worry, it's a racing snail! Rock Biter: Oh but, but, we can't even wait for a racing snail. Teeny Weeny: Tally ho! Rock Biter: Hey, it really is a racing snail! Night Hob: Nob...
Rock Biter: A delicious-looking limestone rock. Mmm! Mmm! Nice bouquet. Must be a real vintage year. Night Hob: [laughs nervously] Yes, you're right. Those delicious rocks are the reason we camped here, all right. Night Hob: [to Teeny Weeny] Is he a ...
Jason: What are you people doing here? We can't continue the story 'til Tom gets back. Harold: Oh, we don't mind observing you all. Harold's Wife: Yes. My husband is a student of the human personality. Rita: Oh yeah, well we're not human. Harold's Wi...
[of the British ambushing the pirates] Elizabeth: No... Wait... Stop! The pirates are undead! They'll all be killed! This is Jack Sparrow's doing! Lt. Gillette: Don't worry, Miss, he's already been informed of that, a little mermaid flopped up on dec...
Librarian: What is thee wish? Macaulay Connor: I'm looking for some local b - what'd you say? Librarian: What is thee wish? Macaulay Connor: Um, local biography or history. Librarian: If thee will consult with my colleague in there. Macaulay Connor: ...
Macaulay Connor: This is the Bridal Suite. Would you send up a couple of caviar sandwiches and a bottle of beer? Margaret Lord: What? Who is this? Macaulay Connor: This is the Voice of Doom calling. Your days are numbered, to the seventh son of the s...
Tracy Lord: [Tracy and Mike have almost kissed. Both are very drunk] Has your mind taken hold again, dear professor? Macaulay Connor: Good thing, don't you agree? Tracy Lord: No, professor. Macaulay Connor: [angrily] Alright, lay off that "professor"...
C. K. Dexter Haven: Sometimes, for your own sake, Red, I think you should've stuck to me longer. Tracy Lord: I thought it was for life, but the nice judge gave me a full pardon. C. K. Dexter Haven: Aaah, that's the old redhead. No bitterness, no recr...
Margaret Lord: Are you one of the musicians? Macaulay Connor: No! Margaret Lord: Oh of course, you're Junius's friend. Only you're not. Do you have any violin strings? Macaulay Connor: [digs in his pocket] I have an aspirin. Will that work? Margaret ...
