[Chas Tenenbaum and his sons enter his mother's house with several bags] Etheline Tenenbaum: Chas? What's going on? Chas: We got locked out of our apartment. Etheline Tenenbaum: Well, did you call a locksmith? Chas: Uh huh. Etheline Tenenbaum: Well, ...
Jeff: What do you need as evidence? Bloody footprints leading up to his door? Lt. Doyle: One thing I don't need is heckling. You called me and asked for help. Now you're behaving like a taxpayer. Jeff: You know by tomorrow morning, there may not be a...
Jack Lauderdale: So Ray, we got to talk about your name, man. Robinson. I mean, Sugar Ray got to Robinson franchise all sewed up. So I'm thinking we go with your middle name: Charles. As in "Ray Charles." Ray Charles: I don't care what you call me, m...
Mike Cameron: I don't know you very well, you know, but I wanted to ask you - how'd you get Diane Court to go out with you? Lloyd Dobler: I called her up. Mike Cameron: But how come it worked? I mean, like, what are you? Lloyd Dobler: I'm Lloyd Doble...
Neighbor: I wish you'd all lay off for tonight! I can't hear myself think with that racket! Doyle: Hey! HEY! Neighbor: Knock it off or I'm calling the police! Doyle: I told you three times already, the law's on my side! I play cards with J.D. Shelnut...
Doyle: [Karl enters the bedroom, startling Doyle and Linda] Hey! What the God damn hell you doing, Karl? 'The fuck you doing up in the middle of the night? Linda: What you want, Hon? Karl: I wanna be baptized. Doyle: Well get baptized then, I don't g...
Dwight: It wasn't "Stop." Shellie wasn't saying "Stop." If I had waited and listened to her, I would've known. I could've warned the girls to go easy. To settle for scaring them off. Shellie didn't say "Stop," she said "Cop." He's a *cop*. Detective ...
[trying to call the emergency services] Ed: Shaun, what's going on? Shaun: Shit, it's engaged! Ed: How about an ambulance? Shaun: It's engaged, Ed. Ed: A fire engine? Shaun: It's one number, Ed, and it's busy! Okay? What you want a fire engine for, a...
The Emperor: I'm looking forward to completing your training. In time you will call *me* master. Luke: You're gravely mistaken. You won't convert me as you did my father. The Emperor: Oh no, my young Jedi. You will find that it is you who are mistake...
Doug the Head: Avi, I'm not telepathic. Cousin Avi: Well you're plenty fucking stupid, I'll give you that. Do you know why they call him Franky "Four Fingers" Doug? Because he makes stupid bets with dangerous people, and when he doesn't pay up, they ...
Christy: When did you get back? Eduardo Saverin: I got back this afternoon. Christy: And when were you going to call me? Eduardo Saverin: Chris, it was kind of a rough trip and I was tired and... Christy: Or answer one of my 47 texts? Did you know I ...
[deleted scene] [last words] Gracchus: [to his maid Julia] The new master of Rome will be calling on me tomorrow, he wants me to make a speech. Take him to wherever I am and show me to him. And Julia, when I meet you in paradise, describe to me the e...
Martha, Stalker's daughter: I love your eyes, my darling friend, Their play so passionate and bright'ning, When a sudden stare up you send, And like a heaven-blown lightning, It'd take in all from end to end But there's more that I admire: Your eyes ...
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Haven't you heard? Conscience is dead. Charlie Simms: No, I haven't heard. Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Well, then, take the fuckin' wax outta your ears! Grow up! It's fuck your buddy, cheat on your wife, call your mother on Mother's D...
[Wabash talks about his entry into the US intelligence field] Mr. Wabash: I go even further back than that. Ten years after The Great War, as we used to call it. Before we knew enough to number them. Higgins: You miss that kind of action, sir? Mr. Wa...
Susan: You know what's wrong with you, Mr Grandi? You've being seeing too many gangster movies. Mike may be spoiling some of your fun. 'Uncle' Joe Grandi: Mike? Susan: My husband, yeah! And if you're trying to scare me into calling him off, let me te...
[first lines] Bill, candy store owner: All right, all right, all right, what's it going to be? A Triple Cream Cup for Christopher. A Sizzler for June Marie. And listen! [the children fall silent] Bill, candy store owner: Wonka's got a new one today. ...
Danny: The joint I'm about to roll requires a craftsman. It can utilise up to 12 skins. It is called a Camberwell Carrot. Marwood: It's impossible to use 12 papers on one joint. Danny: It's impossible to make a Camberwell Carrot with anything less. W...
Uncle Monty: Laisse-moi, respirer, longtemps, longtemps, l'odeur de tes cheveux. Oh, Baudelaire. Brings back such memories of Oxford. Oh, Oxford... Marwood: [voiceover] Followed by yet another anecdote about his sensitive crimes in a punt with a chap...
[last lines] D.J.: Good news, Boppers: The big alert has been called off. It turns out that the early reports were wrong, all wrong. Now for that group out there that had such a hard time getting home, sorry about that. I guess the only thing we can ...
Judge Doom: A few weeks ago I had the good providence to stumble upon a plan of the city council. A construction plan of epic proportions. We're calling it a freeway. Eddie Valiant: Freeway? What the hell's a freeway? Judge Doom: Eight lanes of shimm...
