Alan Garner: [while picking up Phil at the school where he works] Did you have to park so close? Doug Billings: Yeah, what's wrong? Alan Garner: I shouldn't be here. Doug Billings: Why is that, Alan? Alan Garner: I'm not supposed to be within two hun...
Madeliene White: Well, I'd love to tell you what a monster you are, but, uh, I have to help Bin Laden's nephew buy a co-op on Park Ave. Arthur Case: [laughing] If that were true, you wouldn't tell me. Madeliene White: [turning to leave] We're listing...
Lex: [Brachiosaurs hearing Grant imitate they're singing look up in his direction] Sh. Sh. Don't let the monsters come over here. Dr. Alan Grant: They're not monsters, Lex. They're just animals. And these are herbivores. Tim: That means they only eat...
Perry: [to the audience] Thanks for coming, please stay for the end credits, if you're wondering who the best boy is, it's somebody's nephew, um, don't forget to validate your parking, and to all you good people in the Midwest, sorry we said fuck so ...
Eddie Morra: [Speaking to her in the park behind on rock] Okay, I need you to go into the bag and take one of the pills. Lindy: Why? Eddie Morra: Because you'll know what to do. You'll take it and then you'll know. Lindy: [Panicked] He's got a knife,...
Leonard Shelby: [while walking through a parking lot, Teddy stops at his dilapidated Chevrolet] My car. Teddy: [laughs] This is your car. Leonard Shelby: [holds up a picture of the Jaguar with the caption My Car] Oh, you're in a playful mood. It's no...
Wichita: [playing Monopoly] Ooh! Free parking... Little Rock: Yeah. Wichita: -which coincidentally is the best thing about Zombieland. Columbus: You want to know the best thing about Z-land? No- no Facebook status updates. You know, Rob Curtis is gea...
It's easy to say why I love coming to Chicago for my signings, because I still remember the very first time I came to Chicago, right before 'Shiver' came out. I remember I was so struck by the feel of the city, how wide open it felt, even with these ...
[Susan is stealing David's car from the golf course] Susan Vance: Now, don't lose your temper. David Huxley: My dear young lady, I'm not losing my temper. I'm merely trying to play some golf! Susan Vance: Well you choose the funniest places; this is ...
Walter Sobchak: Also, let's not forget - let's *not* forget, Dude - that keeping wildlife, an amphibious rodent, for uh, domestic, you know, within the city - that aint legal either. The Dude: What are you, a fucking park ranger now? Walter Sobchak: ...
[Sal walks through the remains of the "Future of Gotham" park as the robots sing; then the Joker enters] Joker: I hate that song... Gasp! Can it be? Old Sallie "the Wheezer" Valestra! Welcome, paisan! It's been a dog's age! Salvatore "Sal The Wheezer...
When I went around promoting 'Crumb,' there would be days I'd wake up in, like, Houston or Cleveland, and I'd step outside the hotel and get no idea where I was. It all looks the same: one big corporate, consumer theme park. It's all, 'Here's the Sta...
My youngest brother and I went on a ten-day canoe trip in Bowron Provincial Park in British Columbia years ago. Believe it or not, we took only granola, thinking we'd be eating a lot of lake trout. Well, we neglected to bring along a net, and our fis...
The greatest spiritual leaders in history have all preached love for others as the basis for all happiness, and never did they accompany such mandates with a list of unlovable actions or deeds. They never said, love everybody except for the gays. Lov...
Listen, Stephen King used to write in the washroom of his trailer after his kids went to sleep. Harlan Ellison wrote in the stall of a bathroom of his barracks during boot camp. Elmore Leonard got up at 5 AM every morning to write before work. Every ...
Anton Chigurh: I'm looking for Llewelyn Moss. Desert Aire Manager: Did you go up to his trailer? Anton Chigurh: Yes, I did. Desert Aire Manager: Well, I'd say he's at work. Do you want to leave a message? Anton Chigurh: Where does he work? Desert Air...
Indeed." Will let his cutlery clatter onto his plate. "The Consul? Breaking up our breakfast time? Whatever next? The Inquisitor over for tea? Picnics with the Silent Brothers?" "Duck pies in the park," said Jem under his breath, and he and Will smil...
The engine roared to life. He ran toward her. She shot our of her parking space. He rushed to the side of her car. "Stop it, Kristy! You're overreacting! Let's talk about this." That was when she did the unthinkable. She rolled down the window, thrus...
We were still twirling around the tiny parking lot when the neighbors screamed 'Happy New Year'. Unfortunately we weren't sober enough to realize that was our cue to call it a night. Josh had a new beer in his hands, Danny was eating the last hot dog...
It’s impossible to park on Tremont or even idle there for more than thirty seconds. A platoon of meter maids, imported from the female Hitler Youth shortly after the fall of Berlin, roam the street, at least two to a block, pit bull faces on top of...
He took the necklace out of the box and carefully fastened it around her neck. Just like he'd imagined himself doing when he bought it. That might even be why he bought it - so he'd have this moment, under her hair. He ran his fingertips along the ch...
