Max Von Mayerling: She was the greatest of them all. You wouldn't know, you're too young. In one week she received 17,000 fan letters. Men bribed her hairdresser to get a lock of her hair. There was a maharajah who came all the way from India to beg ...
Vaughan Cunningham: Listen, everyone, I've had a few glasses of wine and that tends to make me emotional. It came over me in a rush. I just want you to know that I care about each and every person at this table. Linda: Thank you, Vaughan. We care abo...
Vaughan Cunningham: [about potted meat] They aren't moving too well, but I'll tell you what, I'll give a couple cans free to the right kid. Frank: I don't like potted meat. Daddy used to say they was made out of lips, peckers and intestines. Linda: F...
David: You still haven't met his mum? Shaun: Not yet! Dianne: Don't you get on with your mum, Shaun? Shaun: It's not that I don't get on with her... David: Are you ashamed by your mum, Shaun? Shaun: No! I love my mum! Ed: I love his mum too. Shaun: E...
Jack: I have to have an operation. Maybe a couple. They have to wait for my nose to heal first, and then they're going to break it again. Miles Raymond: At least you'll still have a voice-over career. Jack: It's going to fuck that up too. I ought to ...
Jack: Are you still seeing that shrink? Miles Raymond: I saw him on Monday. I spent most of the time helping him with his computer. Jack: Well, I say, fuck therapy. And what is that stuff you take... Xanax? Miles Raymond: And Lexapro, yes. Jack: Well...
Donkey: I'll find those stairs. I'll whip their butt, too. Those stairs won't know which way they're going... take drastic steps, kick it to the curb. Don't mess wit' me. I'm the Stair Master. I've mastered the stairs. I wish I had a step right here,...
Shrek: Um... Fiona? Princess Fiona: Yes, Shrek? Shrek: I... I love you. Princess Fiona: Really? Shrek: Really, really! Princess Fiona: Mmmm... I love you too. [they kiss. Thalonius writes "Awwww" on a cue card for the audience. Fiona floats up in the...
[Wilson is trying to goad Torrey into drawing on him] Wilson: I guess they named a lot of that Southern trash after old Stonewall. Frank 'Stonewall' Torrey: Who'd they name you after? Or do you know? Wilson: I'm saying that Stonewall Jackson was tras...
Maria: [Friedrich and Kurt run into Maria's room during a thunderstorm] You boys weren't scared, too, were you? Friedrich von Trapp: No. We just wanted to be sure that you weren't. Maria: That was very thoughtful of you, Friedrich. Friedrich von Trap...
Rolfe: [narrating a "telegram" for Liesl] Dear Liesl, I would like to tell you how I feel about you STOP Unfortunately, this wire is already too expensive Sincerely, Rolfe Liesl: [sounded offended] Sincerely? Rolfe: Cordially? Liesl: [turning away] C...
Turkish: Have you ever crossed the road, and looked the wrong way? A car's nearly on you? So what do you do? Something very silly. You freeze. Your life doesn't flash before you, 'cause you're too fuckin' scared to think - you just freeze and pull a ...
Benny Rodriguez: Man, you think too much! I bet you get straight A's and shit! Scotty Smalls: No, I got a B once. Well, actually it was an A minus but it should have been a B. Benny Rodriguez: Man, this is baseball, you gotta stop thinking! Just have...
Inara Serra: You came to the training house looking for a fight. Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: I came looking for you. Inara Serra: I just want to know who I'm dealing with. I've seen too many versions of you to be sure. Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: [moves clos...
Sheila Broflovski: Kyle you are grounded for two weeks. Sharon Marsh: You too Stan. Mrs. Cartman: And you're grounded for three weeks Eric. Cartman: Hey! Why am I grounded more that's fuckin' bullshit! Mrs. Cartman: What, what, what? What was that wo...
Ben Obi-Wan Kenobi: There was nothing you could have done, Luke, had you been there. You'd have been killed too, and the droids would now be in the hands of the Empire. Luke Skywalker: I want to come with you to Alderaan. There's nothing for me here ...
Susan: You know what's wrong with you, Mr Grandi? You've being seeing too many gangster movies. Mike may be spoiling some of your fun. 'Uncle' Joe Grandi: Mike? Susan: My husband, yeah! And if you're trying to scare me into calling him off, let me te...
[last lines] Mattie Ross: Trust you to buy another tall horse. Rooster Cogburn: Yeah. He's not as game as Beau, but Stonehill says he can jump a four rail fence. Mattie Ross: You are too old and fat to be jumping horses. Rooster Cogburn: Well, come s...
[Mattie prepares to go back to the Monarch Boarding House; Rooster is too drunk to escort her] Mattie Ross: I'll walk over there by myself. Rooster Cogburn: You scared of the dark? Mattie Ross: I've never been scared of the dark. Rooster Cogburn: Wel...
Joey Naylor: Why did you tell that reporter all your secrets? Nick Naylor: You're too young to understand. Joey Naylor: Mom says it's because you have dependency issues and it was all just a matter of time before you threw it all away on some tramp. ...
Lt. Hookstratten: This is our monthly "At Ease" weekend. It gives us a chance to let our hair down, although I see you've got a head start in that department. I shouldn't talk, though, I'm getting a little shaggy myself. I'd better not stand too clos...
