One of the most jolting days of adulthood comes the first time you run out of toilet paper. Toilet paper, up until this point, always just existed. And now it's a finite resource, constantly in danger of extinction, that must be carefully tracked and...
They stuff people’s heads down the toilet the first day at Stonewall,” he told Harry. “Want to come upstairs and practice?” “No, thanks,” said Harry. “The poor toilet’s never had anything as horrible as your head down it — it might ...
I'd find it demeaning to be cleaning toilets.
I cleaned toilets and shined shoes.
We were called The Toilets originally - we were flushed with success.
Still on speaking terms with the Toilet Paper People, they consented to a box full of Legos that overnight manifested itself into a recording studio. I quickly remembered the power of my hands, my imagination, my will, and my conscience. These were t...
Yup, the toilet is my best friend before a show.
Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!
i do not give a sh*t, the toilet miss me now
Marv: Sure went down the toilet with that ugly bitch.
Why do I continue making movies? Making movies is better than cleaning toilets.
I had a dream about you. We got into an argument over the toilet seat. Down, up, down, up, down, up, we each thought we were right. Finally, being a natural diplomat, I suggested we compromise and leave the toilet seat halfway between down and up. Yo...
I had a dream about you. We watched the water in the toilet swirl down like a liquid tornado, and we wondered if we’d just flushed away our last chance at love. We’d used all the toilet paper, so you had nothing to blow your nose with. So I gave ...
One of the classier features of this home was the padded toilet seat. It was high-mileage puffy brown vinyl-colored foam and made that weird sigh when you sat down on it. I'm not a germaphobe or anything like that, but it is weird to think about all ...
something genuine like a mark in a toilet, graced with guts and gutted with grace
Poop humor is fun. If you do the toilet scenes well and commit to them, they can be really, really powerful.
Don't get married in a house where there is no toilet.
It is better to have a relationship with someone who cheats on you than with someone who does not flush the toilet.
If you drop your Kindle in the toilet, you're done.
People don't want to hear about me having leather walls or gold toilets.
Maybe humans are just the pet alligators that God flushed down the toilet.
