Quotes of: Titles Keyword

The event happened on my birthday. I don’t remember the date, I only know it was my birthday because there was no cake or presents.

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I’ll give you money to buy what I’m selling, because I’m a savvy salesman.

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Aside from the fact that you’re not my son, and I’m not a woman, do you think I’m a good mother?

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I make music like I make love—in a group. OK, so I’m not in a band, and I sing alone in the shower.

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At the end of the universe you’ll find a door labeled “Do Not Enter.” No great mysteries are hidden there—it’s just a supplies closet.

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I’m going outside to get a breath of fresh air. Anybody got a cigarette I can have?

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On the frozen tundra, I milked a cow and pumped out ice cream. Strangely, it had chunks of strawberries in it.

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I drive by the spot of my injury, because each time I do, the pain lessens, and it teaches me a lesson.

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My face doesn’t match my personality. Maybe it would if instead of a mouth I had an asshole in its place. 

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My philosophy on life: On a burrito, the cheese goes underneath the sour cream. Otherwise, how will it melt?

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I bought an empty safe, and I keep it empty, because safety doesn’t exist, so my safes are full of their potential.

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I need to dig a hole the size of the Grand Canyon to bury all of my problems.

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An invisible wall of super condensed jelly would make a great shield to stop bullets and sarcasm.

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I just realized my reality, and I’d like to say No Thanks. I’m going back to sleep.

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Her legs are so long and sexy that I can see them 26.2 miles away. Gatorade. 

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At the end of the day, people go to sleep. Let’s also put the cliché “At the end of the day” to bed.

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Here in Jacksonville there’s a road called Commonwealth Blvd., and today as I was driving on it, I realized how socialist the name sounds.

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Together me and Amy are Jaramy. Pearl Jam wrote a song about us speaking in class.

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Is there a word halfway between hello and goodbye? Because that’s the word my soul is trying to say.

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I don’t have any upper body strength, but that matches up perfectly with my lack of lower body strength.

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Ten years have gone by since the ten year anniversary, and I still remember it like it happened a decade ago.

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