Bill: At my cousin Ruthie's wedding, the groom's brother was that guy Alakazam. You know who I'm talking about? Stan: The magician with the ponytail? Bill: Right. Well, he did his act, and every time he made something disappear, Vinny jumped on him. ...
Diz Moore: [dictating into phone] In protest, the whole Senate body rose and walked out. Clarissa Saunders: No! No, not that straight stuff. Now listen, kick it up, get on his side, fight for him! Understand? Diz Moore: You love this monkey - don't y...
[Barbara is upstairs, watching Sheba and Richard having a blazing row about her affair with Steven Connolly] Barbara Covett: [voiceover] By the time I took my seat in the Gods, the opera was well into its final act. Richard Hart: You're his teacher! ...
Dom Portwood: Hi, Peter. What's happening? We need to talk about your TPS reports. Peter Gibbons: Yeah. The coversheet. I know, I know. Uh, Bill talked to me about it. Dom Portwood: Yeah. Did you get that memo? Peter Gibbons: Yeah. I got the memo. An...
Ulysses Everett McGill: Deceitful, two-faced she-woman. Never trust a female Delmar, remember that one simple precept and your time with me will not have been ill spent. Delmar O'Donnell: Ok, Everett. Ulysses Everett McGill: Hit by a train! Truth mea...
Del: [sitting outside the motel cafe after finding out they've been robbed] You know I've been thinking. What we're dealing with here is a small-time crook. He didn't take the credit cards, right? So we charge our way home. What kind of plastic do yo...
Sgt. Barnes: Martin, get your boots on. And the next time I catch you spraying skeeter repellent on your fucking feet, I'm gonna court-martial your nigger ass. Junior: Well, then court-martial me, motherfucker! Bust my ass. Send me to fucking Long Bi...
C. K. Dexter Haven: Orange juice, certainly. Tracy Lord: Don't tell me you've forsaken your beloved whisky and whiskies. C. K. Dexter Haven: No-no-no-no. I've just changed their colour, that's all. I'm going for the pale pastel shades now. They're mo...
Marcello: Indian cook best, but Italian kiss best. Best, best, best. Rani: [in Hindi] Indians are best at everything. Pick out any Emraan Hashmi film, you'll find the best kissing. Marcello: Indians best kissing? Show. Prove it! Rani: [Confused] Kiss...
Dick Goodwin: Hey, you don't have to be a genius to connect the dots. Charles Van Doren: Well, don't connect them through me. Dick Goodwin: Hey, don't treat me like some member of your goddamn fan club. Are you telling me everybody got the answers bu...
Chief of Staff Hayden Sinclair: Southern China? We've never even admitted we sent troops into China. General Hummel: Who is this? Identify yourself! Chief of Staff Hayden Sinclair: White House Chief of Staff Hayden Sinclair, General. General Hummel: ...
[after Ray accuses Jeff of stealing] Ray Charles: How could you do that? We've been through so much. We were like brothers. Jeff Brown: Ray... if we were like brothers, why are you paying Joe more than you're paying me? Ray Charles: Damn all that. Yo...
Sefton: [questioning Price] When was Pearl Harbor, Price, or don't you know that? Price: December 7th, '41. Sefton: What time? Price: [smugly] 6:00. I was having dinner. Sefton: [smirks] 6:00 in Berlin. [to the other barrack members] Sefton: They wer...
Princess Leia: All troop carriers will assemble at the north entrance. The heavy transport ships will leave as soon as they're loaded. Only two fighter escorts per ship. The energy shield can only be opened for a short time, so you'll have to stay ve...
Walt Disney: Pam, a man cannot break a promise he's made to his kids, no matter how long it takes for him to make it come true. Now, you kept me dangling all this time. But now, I gotcha. P.L. Travers: Gotcha, indeed! Mr. Disney, if you have "dangled...
M: Regret is not part of our profession. Raoul Silva: They kept me for five months in a room with no air. They tortured me, and I protected your secrets. I protected you. But they made me suffer. And suffer. And suffer. Until I realized, it was you w...
Narrator: Michael Squints Palledorous walked a little taller that day. And we had to tip our hats to him. He was lucky she hadn't beat the *crap* out of him. We wouldn't have blamed her. What he'd done was sneaky, rotten, and low... and cool. Not ano...
Parker: [firing machine gun] I'm out of .30 Caliber! Private Jackson: [lining shots] Bleesed be the Lord my strength, which teaches my hands to the war, and my fingers to fight. [fires rifle twice] Private Jackson: My goodness and my fortress... my h...
Sherlock Holmes: Madam, this is a glorious hedgehog goulash. I can't remember ever having had better. Dr. John Watson: Do tell me, when was the last time you had a hedgehog goulash? Sherlock Holmes: I told you, Watson, I can't remember. Dr. John Wats...
Satan: Saddam, I need to talk to you Saddam Hussein: Ah, you'd better get packing, bitch, we're running out of time. Satan: [sighs] sometimes you can love someone very much, but still know they aren't right for you. Saddam Hussein: What the *fuck* ar...
Adult Olive: I need to forgive you before I die... but I can't forgive someone who has not asked for forgiveness. Caden Cotard: I just want... Adult Olive: I have no time. I need you to ask for forgiveness. Caden Cotard: Can you ever forgive me? Adul...
