Mechanic 2: Ain't never seen anyone so shit-all stupid as you driving off that road. You musta got manure for your brains. Clark: Yeah, well, I'm from out of town. So, what's the bill? Come on, come on, how much? Mechanic 1: How much you got? Clark: ...
Peter Gibbons: It's not just about me and my dream of doing nothing. It's about all of us. I don't know what happened to me at that hypnotherapist and, I don't know, maybe it was just shock and it's wearing off now, but when I saw that fat man keel o...
[Peter is wearing shorts, sandals and a paisley shirt, with his feet up on his desk, munching chips and playing tetris on his computer] Bill Lumbergh: So, Peter, what's happening? Aahh, now, are you going to go ahead and have those TPS reports for us...
Westley: Who are you? Are we enemies? Why am I on this wall? Where is Buttercup? Inigo Montoya: Let me explain. [pause] Inigo Montoya: No, there is too much. Let me sum up. Buttercup is marry Humperdinck in little less than half an hour. So all we ha...
Sol Robeson: Have you met Archimedes? The one with the black spots, you see? You remember Archimedes of Syracuse, eh? The king asks Archimedes to determine if a present he's received is actually solid gold. Unsolved problem at the time. It tortures t...
Dutch: [Dutch approaches and grabs the shoulders of the prisoner who has spoken nothing but Spanish since her capture] Yesterday, what did you see? Dillon: You're wasting your time. Dutch: [to Anna] No more games. Anna: I don't know what it was. It.....
Charles Van Doren: They gave me the answers. Mark Van Doren: They gave you the answers... they gave YOU the answers? Charles Van Doren: Well, no... no, at first they'd ask me questions they already knew I knew the answers to. We ran through those, an...
Cornwall Cousins: Charles, is Jack Barry single? Charles Van Doren: I think so. Cornwall Cousins: My roommate has a huge crush on him, she wants you to introduce her. Cornwall Cousins: What's Dave Garroway like? Charles Van Doren: Cheap. Cornwall Aun...
Alain van Versch: [after having sex with Stéphanie for the first time] Was it good? It still works? Stéphanie: Yes. No... I don't know... It's different. It's hard to say after just one... Alain van Versch: Yeah but I can't now. I have to go. Stép...
Charlie: Hey Raymond, remember today when the doctor was asking you those questions? How'd you know the answers? Raymond: [while brushing his teeth at the same time, Charlie can't make out what he said] I see it. Charlie: What? Stop that for a second...
Anton Ego: [running his finger through leftover sauce and licking it] I can't remember the last time I asked to give my compliments to the chef. And now I find myself in the extraordinary position of having my waiter *be* the chef! Linguini: Thanks, ...
[Three seperate situations happening at the same time] Coach Boone: [Talking to official] Ref! He's lining up offsides! Look, he's *lining* up offsides! Official: [ignoring Coach Boone] Coach Ed Henry: [talking to player] Twins right, 99 Z. Go! Coach...
Sefton: I told you boys I'm no escape artist. For the first time, I like the odds, because now I got me a decoy. Hoffy: What's the decoy? Sefton: Price. When I go, I want you to give me five minutes - exactly five minutes - to get Dunbar out of that ...
General Jack D. Ripper: Mandrake, do you recall what Clemenceau once said about war? Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: No, I don't think I do, sir, no. General Jack D. Ripper: He said war was too important to be left to the generals. When he said that, 50...
[Picard puts his hand on the Phoenix] Captain Jean-Luc Picard: It's a boyhood fantasy... I must have seen this ship hundreds of times in the Smithsonian but I was never able to touch it. Lieutenant Commander Data: Sir, does tactile contact alter your...
Donkey: Shrek! Hold up, Shrek! You got to wait for the line! Shrek: [about to burst into the cathedral] What are you talking about? Donkey: The line, the line you gotta wait for: the priest's gonna say "Speak now or forever hold your piece", and you ...
Brick Top: Pull your tongue out of my arsehole, Gary. Dogs do that. You're not a dog, are ya Gary? Gary: No, no I'm not. Brick Top: But you do have all the characteristics of a dog, Gary. All except loyalty. [Errol zaps Gary] Turkish: [Voice over] It...
Pat Sr.: Let me tell you, I know you don't want to listen to your father, I didn't listen to mine, and I am telling you you gotta pay attention this time. When life reaches out at a moment like this it's a sin if you don't reach back, I'm telling you...
Darth Sidious: I have waited a long time for this moment, my little green friend. At last, the Jedi are no more. Yoda: Not if anything to say about it I have! [Yoda force flings Darth Sidious across the room and across his desk] Yoda: At an end your ...
Tion Medon: Greetings, young Jedi. What brings you to our remote sanctuary? Obi-Wan: Unfortunately, the war. Tion Medon: There is no war here unless you've brought it with you. Obi-Wan: With your kind permission, I should like some fuel and to use yo...
Buzz Lightyear: Woody, stop this nonsense and let's go. Woody: Nah, Buzz. [sigh] Woody: I can't go. I can't abandon these guys. They need me to get into this museum. Without me, they'll go back into storage. Maybe forever. Buzz Lightyear: Woody, you'...
