Rebecca: Oh! It's that comedian I was telling you about. [she turns up the volume on her television, which is showing an odd-looking man performing stand-up comedy] Rebecca: See this bit, it's the absolute worst. Joey McCobb, the Stand Up Comic: [on ...
Mr. Arthur Weasley: Harry, there are some within the Ministry who would strongly discourage me from divulging what I'm about to reveal to you, but I think that you need to know the facts. You are in danger. Grave danger. Harry: Has this anything to d...
Samantha: So how can I help you? Theodore: Oh, it's just more that everything feels disorganized, that's all. Samantha: You mind if I look through your hard drive? Theodore: Um... okay. Samantha: Okay, let's start with your e-mails. You have a severa...
Bill: He'll accept you as his student. The Bride: Caught him in a good mood, aye? Bill: More like a sadistic one. Just seeing those steps again makes me ache. You're gonna have plenty of fun carrying buckets of water up and down that fucker. The Brid...
Yao: [at the waterhole] Hey, Ping. Mulan: Oh, hi, guys. I didn't know you were here. I was just washing, so now I'm clean, and I'm gonna go. Bye-bye! Ling: Come back here! I knew we were jerks to you before, so, let's start over. Hi, I'm Ling. Chien-...
Chico: Villages like this they make up a song about every big thing that happens. Sing them for years. Chris Adams: You think it's worth it? Chico: Don't you? Chris Adams: It's only a matter of knowing how to shoot a gun. Nothing big about that. Chic...
Pernell: [during a visit to the penitentiary] It's been a long time, Caine. How you doin', man? How come you never come see me? Caine: [looking down] Man, I don't want to see you all caged up like some animal. Pernell: Is that what you think? I'm a a...
Ed, the car salesman: I'll get to the bottom of this. Davenport! Davenport: Yes, Mr. Ed? Ed, the car salesman: Mr. Griswold ordered a blue sports wagon, where is it? Davenport: I don't know sir. Ed, the car salesman: [to Clark] I know what must have ...
Peter Gibbons: What would you do if you had a million dollars? Lawrence: I'll tell you what I'd do, man: two chicks at the same time, man. Peter Gibbons: That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time? Lawrence: Damn st...
[last lines] [US version] Mr. Darcy: How are you this evening, my dear? Elizabeth Bennet: Very well... although I wish you would not call me "my dear." Mr. Darcy: [chuckles] Why? Elizabeth Bennet: Because it's what my father always calls my mother wh...
Han Solo: Hey, Your Worship, I'm only trying to help. Princess Leia: Would you please stop calling me that? Han Solo: Sure, Leia. Princess Leia: You make it so difficult sometimes. Han Solo: I do, I really do. You could be a little nicer, though. Com...
Captain Hadley: So this big shot lawyer calls me long distance from Texas. I say "Yeah?" He says, "Sorry to inform you, but your brother just died." Guard Mert: Oh damn, Byron, I'm sorry to hear that. Captain Hadley: I'm not, he was an asshole. Ran o...
Sammy Barnathan: I don't have a resume, or a picture. I've never worked as an actor. Caden Cotard: Good. Tell me why you're here. Sammy Barnathan: Well I've been... I've been following you for twenty years. So I knew about this audition because I fol...
Eli Sunday: You are a stupid man, Abel. You've let someone come in here and walk all over us. You let him in and do his work here, and you are a stupid man for what we could have had. Abel Sunday: I followed His word, Eli. I tried. Eli Sunday: You di...
Truman: I figure we can scrape together $8,000... Meryl: Every time you and Marlon get together... Truman: We can bum around the world for a year on that! Meryl: And then what, Truman? We'd be where we were five years ago. You're talking like a teena...
Verbal: [referring to Rabin] That guy is tense. Tension is a killer. I used to be in a barbershop quartet in Skokie, Illinois. The baritone was this guy named Kip Diskin, big fat guy, I mean, like, orca fat. He was so stressed in the morning... Dave ...
[Judge Doom about to "dip" Roger] Eddie Valiant: Hey, Judge. Doesn't a dying rabbit deserve a last request? Roger Rabbit: Yeah, nose plugs would be nice. Eddie Valiant: I think you want a drink. So, how about it, Judge? Judge Doom: Well, why not? I d...
Logan: If you had your powers you'd know I was telling the truth. Charles Xavier: How do you know I don't have... [pause] Charles Xavier: Who are you? Logan: I told you. Charles Xavier: Are you CIA? Logan: No. Charles Xavier: Have you been watching m...
[Lester eavesdrops on Jane and Angela through Jane's bedroom door] Jane Burnham: Sorry about my dad. Angela Hayes: Don't be. I think it's funny. Jane Burnham: Yeah, to you, he's just another guy who wants to jump your bones. But to me, he's just... t...
Governor Crittenden: Jesse James sent me a telegram last month, saying he was going to kill me if he had to wreck a train to do it. He said that once I was in his hands he was going to cut my heart out and eat it in strips like it was bacon. [pause] ...
Mike Shiner: Give me a cue again. Riggan: Okay. "Hey, I'm the wrong person to ask. I don't actually know the man, I've heard his name mentioned in passing. I don't know, you'd have to know the particulars. I think what you're saying..." Mike Shiner: ...
