My dad was always snoozing on the couch, like Dagwood Bumstead. He was a lazy motherfucker. God bless him. He was always working on some kind of get-rich-quick scheme. This is what my dad was like: I'd say, Hey, Dad, we studied penguins today in scho...
Gordie: Why did he have to die, Chris? Why did Denny have to die? Chris: I don't know. Gordie: It should've been me. Chris: Don't say that. Gordie: It should've been me. Chris: Don't say that, man! Gordie: I'm no good. My dad said it. I'm no good. Ch...
Roger Strong: Frank, would you like to say grace? [Long pause] Roger Strong: Unless you're not comfortable. Frank Abagnale, Jr.: Absolutely. Two little mice fell into a bucket of cream. The first mouse quickly gave up and drowned, but the second mous...
Kitty Farmer: If you don't complete the assignment, you'll get a zero for the day. [motions to speak... ] Kitty Farmer: [cut to principal's office] Principal Cole: Donald, let me preface this by saying that your Iowa test scores are... intimidating. ...
Michael: Maybe it was an iguana. Elliot: It was *no* iguana. Michael: Maybe, um - You know how they say there are alligators in the sewers? Gertie: Alligators in the sewers. Mary: All we're trying to say is, maybe you just probably imagined it. It ha...
Crush: Okay. Squirt here will now give you a rundown of proper exiting technique. Squirt: Good afternoon. We're gonna have a great jump today. Okay, first crank a hard cutback as you hit the wall. There's a screaming bottom curve, so watch out. Remem...
Henry Hill: I only bought the damn guns because he wanted them and now he didn't want them. Jimmy Conway: What the fuck are these? None of them fit. What's the matter with you? What, do you want me to pay for this shit? I'm not paying for it! Henry H...
Ryan Stone: I know, we're all gonna die. Everybody knows that. But I'm going to die today. Funny that... you know, to know. But the thing is, is that I'm still scared. Really scared. Nobody will mourn for me, no one will pray for my soul. Will you mo...
[interviewing Louie for information about Ghost Dog] Sonny Valerio: Where's he live? Louie: Fuck, if I know. That's the next strange thing. I mean, I can't just call him up. Instead, he contacts me every day through a bird. [pause] Sonny Valerio: Did...
Scarlett: You'd rather live with that silly little fool who can't open her mouth except to say "yes" or "no" and raise a passel of mealy-mouthed brats just like her. Ashley: You mustn't say unkind things about Melanie. Scarlett: Who are you to tell m...
Barry's Customer: Hi, do you have the song "I Just Called To Say I Love You?" It's for my daughter's birthday. Barry: Yea we have it. Barry's Customer: Great, Great, can I have it? Barry: No, no, you can't. Barry's Customer: Why not? Barry: Well, it'...
General Allenby: I believe your name will be a household word when you'll have to go to the War Museum to find who Allenby was. You're the most extraordinary man I've ever met! T.E. Lawrence: Leave me alone! General Allenby: What? T.E. Lawrence: Leav...
Guido: [pretending to translate] The game starts now. You have to score one thousand points. If you do that, you take home a tank with a big gun. Each day we will announce the scores from that loudspeaker. The one who has the fewest points will have ...
Duncan: You there, Scout! We must rest soon, the women are tired. Magua: No, two leagues, better water. We stop there. Duncan: No, we'll stop in the glade just ahead. When the ladies are rested, we will proceed. Do you understand? Magua: [speaking Hu...
Yuri Orlov: [voiceover] I'm not saying I didn't have setbacks. It's not called "gunrunning" for nothing. You've gotta be fast on your feet. Some revolutions blow over before the guns even get there. There's nothing more expensive for an arms dealer t...
[In 1968, Noodles meets a familiar figure in heavy make-up... ] Noodles: Hello, Deborah. [For a long time, Deborah is silent and still] Noodles: Aren't you gonna say anything? Deborah Gelly: What is someone supposed to say after... after more than th...
Saul: I have a question, say we get into the cage, and through the security doors there and down the elevator we can't move, and past the guards with the guns, and into the vault we can't open... Rusty: Without being seen by the cameras. Danny: Oh ye...
Buttercup: Oh, Wesley, will you ever forgive me? Westley: What hideous sin have you committed lately? Buttercup: I got married. I didn't want to - it all happened so fast. Westley: Never happened. Buttercup: What? Westley: Never happened. Buttercup: ...
Rudy: We're gonna go inside, we're gonna go outside, inside and outside. We're gonna get 'em on the run boys and once we get 'em on the run we're gonna keep 'em on the run. And then we're gonna go go go go go go and we're not gonna stop til we get ac...
Diane Court: You have to meet Bess. She's amazing. She's 93, she's a writer... and I told her about you. Lloyd Dobler: [Stops walking, stands in front of Diane] Wait, wait... You told her about me? Jim Court: [Walks by the adjacent hall, Sees to the ...
Tommy Williams: So I'm backing out the door, right, and I got the TV, like this; it was a big old thing, I couldn't see shit; suddenly I hear this voice, "Police, kid, hands in the air." You know, I was standing there, holdin' on to that TV, so final...