Bunny: [Merle Haggard's "Okie from Muskogee" is playing on the radio] That's a bad jam, man. Junior: Redneck noise, dude, that's all it is. Make about as much sense as you do. All them chumps be talkin' about how they losin' they ho, and ain't got no...
C. K. Dexter Haven: [looking for the "hair of the dog"] Do you s'pose, sir, speaking of eye-openers...? Uncle Willie: Oh, that's the first sane remark I've heard today. C'malong, Dexter, I know a formula that's said to pop the pennies off the eyelids...
Roman Castevet: No pope ever visits a city where the newspapers are on strike. Minnie Castevet: I heard he's gonna postpone and wait till it's over. Guy Woodhouse: Well, that's showbiz. Roman Castevet: That's exactly what it is: all the costumes, the...
Terence: I don't think that's right. I believe the "Dot Dot Dot" come between "Medula" and "Oblongota". [Morris shakes his head] Terence: Well, it did! Morris: The dots are where I say they are. Melody and tune, that's your trade, Terence. You're a t...
Andy Dufresne: She was beautiful. God I loved her. I just didn't know how to show it, that's all. I killed her, Red. I didn't pull the trigger, but I drove her away. And that's why she died, because of me.
James Cole: Look at them. They're just asking for it. Maybe the human race deserves to be wiped out. Jeffrey Goines: Wiping out the human race? That's a great idea. That's great. But more of a long-term thing. I mean, first we have to focus on more i...
First play I ever did was 'Footloose.' I played the part of Willard when I was 16. I think I wore my drama teacher's jeans and her belt - that's how small I was. I know a lot of Willard's back story from the musical that's not explored in the film. L...
I just feel like people like a little break. Especially at 12:37 at night, you go, like, 'I'm just tired of the snarky right now. I just want to lie down and have somebody make me laugh for an hour. Entertain me, and then I'm going to sleep with a sm...
You could time a suburban story by your watch: it lasts as long as it takes a small furry animal that's lonely to find friends, or a small furry animal that's lost to find its parents; it lasts as long as a quick avowal of love; it lasts precisely as...
I'm first and foremost a company man, surprising as that is. I love Warner Brothers. That's where I have a deal. That's where I've been for years. So I don't really interact too much with other studios and do things with other studios and I don't nec...
I went whale-watching, and I was really looking forward to that, but when you see it on TV and you see other programs do it, you're seeing close-ups of these massive creatures, and the music that's added gives you a certain feeling. But in reality, y...
Adam: See, but... that's bullshit. That's what everyone has been telling me since the beginning. "Oh, you're gonna be okay," and "Oh, everything's fine," and like, it's not... It makes it worse... that no one will just come out and say it. Like, "hey...
Susan Orlean: Aww, I wish I were an ant. Awww, they're so shiny. John Laroche: You're shinier than any ant darlin' Susan Orlean: That's the sweetest thing anybody has EVER said to me. John Laroche: Welp, I like ya', that's why.
We get a little further from perfection, each year on the road, I guess that's what they call character, I guess that's just the way it goes, better to be dusty than polished, like some store window mannequin, why don't you touch me where i'm rusty, ...
I don't think I'm an angry person. I think I'm a person who's angry. I'm angry at the Bush administration; I'm angry at the right wing media. And by that I don't mean the media is right wing. I mean, there is a part of the media that's not the mainst...
If you do a quantity challenge, the problem you'd face would be a starchy challenge. If it has a lot of potatoes, a lot of bread or fried elements, that's difficult. With heat challenges, challenges that use the whole pepper are much, much easier tha...
I am not an actor. Yes, every so often I appear on talk shows to promote something I've written, and I enjoy doing so because I have a lot of stories to tell, and I like making audiences laugh. But that's not acting. That's just me being me.
To me, constructive criticism is when people take ownership of their ideas. That's why I don't listen to anything that's anonymous. But it's hard; when there's something hurtful out there, I still want to read it over and over and memorize it and exp...
The defining moment when we finally admit, “I can’t do this alone. Its too much for me. Take it.” That’s the moment our heart cracks open, our will pours out and Christ stands ready with his arms stretched wide and his smile even wider. That�...
For a female to write about her feelings, and then be portrayed as some clingy, insane, desperate girlfriend in need of making you marry her and have kids with her, I think that’s taking something that potentially should be celebrated—a woman wri...
I'm done in this business, that's for sure.