William Wallace: [after being outthrown] That's a good throw. Hamish: Aye. Aye, it was. William Wallace: I was wondering if you could do that when it matters. [Hamish stares at him] William Wallace: As it - as it matters in battle. [Hamish continues ...
Ken: Up there, the top altar, is a vial brought back by a Flemish knight from the Crusades in the Holy Land. And that vial, do you know what it's said to contain? Ray: No, what's it said to contain? Ken: It's said to contain some drops of Jesus Chris...
Nina: What are you doing here? Lily: I just came by to apologize. You're right, I should have never spoken to him about you. Erica: [interrupts] Sweetheart. Nina: Give me a second. Erica: Your dinner. Nina: Mom! Please? Lily: Oh, she's a trip. [chuck...
Connor: [picking out weapons and gear] Do ya know what we need, man? Some rope. Murphy: Absolutely. What are ya, insane? Connor: No I ain't. Charlie Bronson's always got rope. Murphy: What? Connor: Yeah. He's got a lot of rope strapped around him in ...
Paul Smecker: [enters the police station, packed with cops] First of all, I'd like to thank whichever one of you donut-munching, barrel-assed, pud-pulling sissies leaked this to the press. That's just what we need now: some sensational story in the p...
Miss Sue: You like Tennessee? That's a good school. Not at the academic level of Ole Miss but they have an outstanding science department. You know what they're famous for? They work with the FBI, to study the effects of soil on decomposing body part...
I know positively… that each of us has the plague within him; no one, no one on earth, is free from it. And I know, too, that we must keep endless watch on ourselves lest in a careless moment we breathe in somebody’s face and fasten the infection...
We're young. We’re supposed to drink too much. We're supposed to have bad attitudes and shag each other's brains out. We were designed to party. We owe it to ourselves to party hard. We owe it to each other. This is it. This is our time. So a few o...
I have leveled with the girls - from Anchorage to Amarillo. I tell them that all marriages are happy It's the living together afterward that's tough. I tell them that a good marriage is not a gift, It's an achievement. that marriage is not for kids I...
There's a stranger in a car Driving down your street Acts like he knows who you are Slaps his hand on the empty seat and says "Are you gonna get in Or are you gonna stay out?" Just a stranger in a car Might be the one they told you about Well you nev...
But germs are the most common snowflake starters and lie at the heart of 85 percent of all flakes.2 So next time you gaze at a lovely snowstorm, inform your favorite germophobe or hypochondriac that living bacteria sit shivering in most of those unto...
The problem with me is that I cannot focus when she is on my mind. I can’t. I probably will make a mistake when writing that paper and will start writing everything I feel about her—the professor will be very happy with that, I am sure. Oh well, ...
I went to a foot specialist recently and she said: "You've broken a bone, it's healed funny." "What can you do?" "Not much." She strapped me up though and that's the reason my foot is hurting, because the strapping gave me cramp. When I'm about to di...
Interesting how fashion is cyclical,” Jaccob said when she came out of the store with two black plastic bags. “Goth was the look when I was young, too.” “It’s not a look,” Chuck said. “I’m just wearing my feelings on the outside.” �...
As it happens, I’m a terrible dancer. Bears are simply not made for dancing. We’re much better at sitting and sleeping and singing. But there are humans who catch bears and force us to dance. It’s agony. And there are other humans who pay to wa...
He was talking. I tried not to think of how he looked and instead of what he was telling me. Once I accomplished that, my brain couldn’t get past the ‘running’ part. “I don’t run.” I walked the mile run at school. True story. I abhorred a...
Every now and then, we change our minds. It's our prerogative. The big secret is" - I leaned in conspiratorially - "sometimes, even we don't know why. There are times after we pick a fight where we're as confused as you are. But there's no way we're ...
When I was fifteen, a companion and I, on a dare, went into the mound one day just at sunset. We saw some of those Indians for the first time; we got directions from them and reached the top of the mound just as the sun set. We had camping equiptment...
He thought, in your most secret dreams you cut a niche for yourself, and it is finished early, and then you wait for someone to come along to fill it—but to fill it exactly, every cut, curve, hollow and plane of it. And people do come along, and on...
Dear 2600: I think my girlfriend has been cheating on me and I wanted to know if I could get her password to Hotmail and AOL. I am so desperate to find out. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks. And this is yet another popular category of letter we ...
I cook better than you," Nick corrected absently. "I think monkeys can probably be taught to cook better than you." "I'd like to have a monkey that cooked for me," said Jamie. " I would pay him in bananas. His name would be Alphonse." "I agree, that ...
