[masquerading as an A.T.F. agent, Rusty shoves Basher against a police car, pretending to search him] Rusty: [under his breath] Hey, Bash. Basher: Hey, Russ. Rusty: How fast can you put something together from what I just slipped you? Basher: It's do...
Conrad "Con" Jarrett: When I let myself feel, all I feel is lousy. Dr. Berger: Oh well excuse me, I never promised you a rose garden. Conrad "Con" Jarrett: Oh fuck you Berger. Dr. Berger: What? Conrad "Con" Jarrett: FUCK YOU! Dr. Berger: Hey, that's ...
Westley: Who are you? Are we enemies? Why am I on this wall? Where is Buttercup? Inigo Montoya: Let me explain. [pause] Inigo Montoya: No, there is too much. Let me sum up. Buttercup is marry Humperdinck in little less than half an hour. So all we ha...
Sol Robeson: Have you met Archimedes? The one with the black spots, you see? You remember Archimedes of Syracuse, eh? The king asks Archimedes to determine if a present he's received is actually solid gold. Unsolved problem at the time. It tortures t...
Chris Taylor: [narrating] Well, here I am, anonymous, all right. With guys nobody really cares about. They come from the end of the line, most of them, small towns you never heard of: Pulaski, Tennessee; Brandon, Mississippi; Pork Bend, Utah; Wampum,...
Elizabeth: I hardly believe in ghost stories, Captain Barbossa. Barbossa: Aye. That's exactly what I thought when first told of the tale. Buried in the island of the dead that which cannot be found except by those who already knows where it is. Find ...
Jack Sparrow: That's the second time I've had to watch that man sail away with my ship. Elizabeth: But you were marooned on this island before, weren't you? So we can escape in the same way you did then. Jack Sparrow: To what point and purpose, young...
Elizabeth: I hardly believe in ghost stories, Captain Barbossa. Barbossa: Aye. That's exactly what I thought when we were first told of the tale. Buried in the island of the dead that which cannot be found except by those who already knows where it i...
Cutter: Every great magic trick consists of three parts or acts. The first part is called "The Pledge". The magician shows you something ordinary: a deck of cards, a bird or a man. He shows you this object. Perhaps he asks you to inspect it to see if...
Dutch: [Dutch approaches and grabs the shoulders of the prisoner who has spoken nothing but Spanish since her capture] Yesterday, what did you see? Dillon: You're wasting your time. Dutch: [to Anna] No more games. Anna: I don't know what it was. It.....
Charles Van Doren: They gave me the answers. Mark Van Doren: They gave you the answers... they gave YOU the answers? Charles Van Doren: Well, no... no, at first they'd ask me questions they already knew I knew the answers to. We ran through those, an...
Alain van Versch: [after having sex with Stéphanie for the first time] Was it good? It still works? Stéphanie: Yes. No... I don't know... It's different. It's hard to say after just one... Alain van Versch: Yeah but I can't now. I have to go. Stép...
Frank Stark: We give you love and affection, don't we? Well, then, what is it? Was it because we went to that party? Well, you know what kind of drunken brawls those kind of parties turn into. It's not a place for kids. Mrs. Carol Stark: A minute ago...
Michael: What's wrong now? Hanna Schmitz: Nothing's wrong. Nothing. Michael: You know, you never ask. You never bother to ask how *I* am! Hanna Schmitz: You never say. Michael: It just happens to be my birthday. It's my birthday, that's all! In fact,...
Little John: You know something, Robin? You're taking too many chances. Robin Hood: Chances? You must be joking! That was just a bit of a lark, Little John. Little John: Oh, yeah? Take a look at your hat. That's not a candle on a cake. Robin Hood: [r...
Charlie: Hey Raymond, remember today when the doctor was asking you those questions? How'd you know the answers? Raymond: [while brushing his teeth at the same time, Charlie can't make out what he said] I see it. Charlie: What? Stop that for a second...
[first lines] Charlie: [on telephone] Now it's five and a half weeks and I'm still sitting on four Lamborghinis that can't meet spot emissions standards. Now, how many times you wash out with EPA? Lenny: [on a separate line] Uh, yes sir, they're fina...
[first lines] Student: If, and only if, both sides of the numerator is divisible by the inverse of he square root of the two unassigned variable. School Professor: Good. Except when the value of the "X" coordinate is equal to or less than the value o...
Shaun: Well maybe one should do the other, and then do themselves. Liz: Oh maybe you should do me, I'll only muck it up if I have to do myself. [Shaun mimes shooting Liz and then himself, to see how it feels] Shaun: You know, I don't think I've got i...
Joe: [trying to get Jerry to face reality regarding his engagement to Osgood] Jerry, Jerry, will you take my advice? Forget about the whole thing, will ya? Just keep telling yourself: you're a boy, you're a boy. Jerry: I'm a boy. Joe: That's the boy....
Red: [narrating] I wish I could tell you that Andy fought the good fight, and the Sisters let him be. I wish I could tell you that - but prison is no fairy-tale world. He never said who did it, but we all knew. Things went on like that for awhile - p...
