A brick could be used in a heart transplant operation. And for just $25,000 more dollars, that brick could be switched with a real or artificial heart.
A brick could be used to crush the Fruit of Desire and make the Juice of Destiny. Drink it before I lose my erection.
A brick could be used to instill courage in the cowardly. But training must begin at birth, and the weak identified while they are still hiding in the womb.
A brick could be used to replace a flat tire. After all, you want to replace like with like, and what’s more flat than a brick?
A blanket could be used to stop the bleeding. But dammit you’re going to have to hurry, before I bleed out all over the carpet.
A brick could be used to create a new society, a perfect society, where there is no inequality, there are no laws, and most importantly, there are no people.
A brick could be used to make love better. Faster isn’t always better. Don’t you want to make love better?
A blanket could be used to help frowners smile. I’m only halfway through the process myself, which is why I’m smirking.
A brick could be used to start a civil war. And then that same brick could be used to start building the country up again after everything is destroyed.
A brick could be used to grow your annual income by a factor of four. What, you don’t believe me? Are you calling me a liar?
A blanket could be used to reaffirm your faith in God, though I’d suggest using something a little firmer, like a brick.
A brick could be used to sell tickets to a new sport called Glurping. If you think it sounds disgusting now, wait until you see it live!
A brick could be used like a duck could be used like a cat. My duck soup is meowing to be manhandled by a construction worker.
A brick could be used as a marketing tool. I’ll help you grow your business, if you help me plant this brick in the ground.
A blanket could be used to cover my couch. Nobody should see that I constructed my sofa on the bones of my ancestors.
A blanket could be used as an American flag. It could keep the world warm with its patronizing patriotism and imperialism.
A brick could be used as a headstone. Or the instrument that proves “until death do us part” is faster and cheaper than a divorce.
Bricks could be used as breast implants. Lady Squaretits is really particular about the shape of her boobs.
A brick and blanket could be used to turn my words around like backwards high heels on my tongue .
A brick could be sawed in half and each half glued under the back of a shoe to form high heels.
A blanket could be used to spot the blind. I’d spot Helen Keller nine points in a ten-point basketball game.
