Anthony Hope: [Johanna is being hauled off to the asylum] Where are you taking her? Tell me or I'll... Judge Turpin: You'll kill me, boy? Well here I stand!
Mrs. Cartman: [singing "Blame Canada"] And my little boy eric, had my picture on his shelf / And now when he sees me he tells me to go fuck myself!
Ramona V. Flowers: Well, it was nice to meet you and tell your gay friends I will see them later. Stacey Pilgrim: Gay friends? [Wallace and Jimmy are making out] Stacey Pilgrim: Wallace? Again?
Moreno: So tell me something. How long have you been a pig, I mean, a police officer? Jake Hoyt: I've been a pig for 19 months. Moreno: 19 months? You like it? Jake Hoyt: I should have been a fireman.
Woody: [after Gadget tells Shaun to go home] Now I feel bad, I feel bad now. [Looks at Gadget] Woody: You fucking prick, you know what you are? [smacks a pastry out of Gadget's hands] Woody: You're a friggin' bully, Gadget.
[Old Rose is telling Lovett and his crew about the Titanic] Old Rose: It was the ship of dreams to everyone else. To me it was a slave ship, taking me back to America in chains. Outwardly, I was everything a well brought up girl should be. Inside, I ...
District Attorney: [when the Judge announces the switch of jury] What did you tell him? Ness: I told him his name is in the ledger too. [Close-up of the Judge, staring daggers at Ness from the bench] District Attorney: His name wasn't in the ledger.....
Owen: After accepting a lift home, Duncan is putting his bicycle in the back of Owen's convertible. Owen, in his way of telling Duncan to be careful about dirtying the back of the car, says "It's just the right amount of shitty."
Withnail: [fondling the money Monty has given them to buy wellingtons] I think a drink, don't you? Marwood: What about the wellingtons? Withnail: Oh, bollocks to the wellingtons. We'll tell him they had a farmers' conference and had a run on them.
Dolores: Do you wanna tell me what she was doing with her arms around you? Eddie Valiant: Probably looking for a good place to stick a knife! Dolores: Come on, Eddie! I caught you with your pants down!
Realtor: Everybody tells you they hate the upper East Side. They wanna live on the West Side. But believe me, when it's resale time, the East Side moves all the time. I mean what do you got on the West Side? Sean and Madonna?
There's something so romantic about being broke in New York. You gotta do it. You have to live there once without any money, and then you have to live there when you have money. Let me tell you, of the two, the latter is far better.
I think any writer is a fool if he doesn't do it for money. There needs to be some kind of incentive in addition to the project. It all goes together. It's fun to sit there and think of characters and get them into action, then be paid for it. I can'...
I tell people to look at me and understand that everybody first told me that I couldn't be a 6-foot, 9-inch point guard, and I proved them wrong. Then they told me I couldn't be a businessman and make money in urban America, and I proved them wrong. ...
I tell everybody on the first day of making a movie that if anyone's here to further their career, they should leave. I'm gonna make the movie in such a way that we won't have a career when this movie comes out. Because the people who hold the moneyb...
Most restaurants in most cities, including Washington, are at a sort of mid-level. They're somewhat trendy, or they have some sort of gimmick, or they're somewhat expensive. And they make a lot of money off drinks. I tell people don't go to most of t...
If you've ever been to a poetry slam, you know that the highest scoring emotion is self-righteous indignation: how dare you judge me. So in that way, the poem, 'What Teachers Make,' is an absolutely formulaic slam poem designed to allow me to get up ...
I think it's science and physics are just starting to learn from all these experiments. These experiments have been carried out hundreds and hundreds of times in all sorts of ways that no physicist really questions the end point. I think that these e...
I've had tons of bullies who would call me retarded, even on my Facebook page. It's sad and it really hurts. I want to tell people not to use the word. Don't say your friend's retarded when they do something foolish. If you have a disability, keep wo...
Both of our children are adopted, and my wife and I didn't go out of ways to find kids that looked like us. We were just happy to have some kids. And people tell me all the time that they look like us, and that's because they learn to smile and laugh...
Now, I know you expected me to say that, well, I just kick back in the rocking chair, fished a little bit, listened to Willie Nelson tapes and watched old baseball games on the Classic Sports network. And, tell you the truth, I have done that for may...
