Rebecca: Oh! It's that comedian I was telling you about. [she turns up the volume on her television, which is showing an odd-looking man performing stand-up comedy] Rebecca: See this bit, it's the absolute worst. Joey McCobb, the Stand Up Comic: [on ...
Millie: Oh, wait a minute, don't tell me who you are. John: No, I'm not. Millie: Oh, you are. John: I'm not. Millie: Oh, you are, I know you are. John: I'm not, no. Millie: You look just like him. John: Do I? You're the first one that's said that eve...
Amy: I even made a new friend. I have a friend and the absurd thing is an operating system. Charles left her behind but she's totally amazing. She's... She's so smart. She doesn't just see things is black or white. She sees things in this whole gray ...
Uncle Vernon: He will not be going, I tell you! We swore when we took him in we'd put a stop to all this rubbish! Harry: You knew? You knew all along and you never told me? Aunt Petunia: Of course we knew. How could you not be? My perfect sister bein...
Bill: He'll accept you as his student. The Bride: Caught him in a good mood, aye? Bill: More like a sadistic one. Just seeing those steps again makes me ache. You're gonna have plenty of fun carrying buckets of water up and down that fucker. The Brid...
[On "The Neelam Show," the subject is love messages] Neelam the VJ: And his message is for... Rahul Khanna: For Anjali. I love you, Anjali. [a shocked Anjali Sharma turns around to see Rahul on the TV] Rahul Khanna: I love you very much. Why have you...
Ted Kramer: [while Billy brings ice cream to the table] You go right back and put that right back until you finish your dinner... I'm warning you, you take one bite out of that and you are in big trouble. Don't... Hey! Don't you dare... Don't you DAR...
Scar: So, your father showed you the whole kingdom, did he? Young Simba: Everything. Scar: He didn't show you what's beyond that rise at the northern border? Young Simba: Well, no. He said I can't go there. Scar: And he's absolutely right! It's far t...
[Agent Monk has kidnapped the mayor] Agent Monk: You. I'm gonna tell you a story. A kid named Homer Wilkes lives 30 miles north of here. He'd just taken his girlfriend home and was walking along the road. A truck pulls up beside him. Four white boys ...
Ed, the car salesman: I'll get to the bottom of this. Davenport! Davenport: Yes, Mr. Ed? Ed, the car salesman: Mr. Griswold ordered a blue sports wagon, where is it? Davenport: I don't know sir. Ed, the car salesman: [to Clark] I know what must have ...
Peter Gibbons: What would you do if you had a million dollars? Lawrence: I'll tell you what I'd do, man: two chicks at the same time, man. Peter Gibbons: That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time? Lawrence: Damn st...
Jake La Motta: Did you fuck my wife? Joey LaMotta: What? Jake La Motta: Did you fuck my wife? Joey LaMotta: [pauses] How do you ask me that? I'm your brother and you ask me that? Where do you get you're balls big enough to ask me that? Jake La Motta:...
Major T. J. "King" Kong: Well, boys, I reckon this is it - nuclear combat toe to toe with the Roosskies. Now look, boys, I ain't much of a hand at makin' speeches, but I got a pretty fair idea that something doggone important is goin' on back there. ...
James T. Kirk: Let me explain what's happening here: you are a criminal! I watched you murder innocent men and women! I was authorized to *end* you! And the only reason why you are still alive is because I am allowing it. So *shut your mouth*! Khan: ...
Sergeant Horvath: Stars. Lieutenant Dewindt: Yeah, Brigadier General Amend, deputy commander, 101st. Some fucking genius had the great idea of welding a couple of steel plates onto our deck to keep the general safe from ground fire. Unfortunately, th...
Sammy Barnathan: I don't have a resume, or a picture. I've never worked as an actor. Caden Cotard: Good. Tell me why you're here. Sammy Barnathan: Well I've been... I've been following you for twenty years. So I knew about this audition because I fol...
Verbal: [referring to Rabin] That guy is tense. Tension is a killer. I used to be in a barbershop quartet in Skokie, Illinois. The baritone was this guy named Kip Diskin, big fat guy, I mean, like, orca fat. He was so stressed in the morning... Dave ...
Logan: If you had your powers you'd know I was telling the truth. Charles Xavier: How do you know I don't have... [pause] Charles Xavier: Who are you? Logan: I told you. Charles Xavier: Are you CIA? Logan: No. Charles Xavier: Have you been watching m...
Randy: Can I get you something? Second Jive Dude: 'S'mofo butter layin' me to da' BONE! Jackin' me up... tight me! Randy: I'm sorry, I don't understand. First Jive Dude: Cutty say 'e can't HANG! Jive Lady: Oh, stewardess! I speak jive. Randy: Oh, goo...
Percy Garris: [singing] Oh don't you remember sweet Betsy from Pike / Crossed the high mountains with her lover Ike / Two yoke of oxen and big yellow dog / Called Shanghai rooster and one spotted hog / Hoodle-dang-hootie-i-doh, hoodle-dang-hootie-ay,...
Butch Cassidy: Jeesh, all Bolivia can't look like this. Sundance Kid: How do you know? This might be the garden spot of the whole country. People may travel hundreds of miles just to get to this spot where we're standing now. This might be the Atlant...
