I'd always assumed Beth and I would be friends forever. But then in middle of the eighth grade, the Goldbergs went through the World's Nastiest Divorce. Beth went a little nuts. I don't blame her. When her dad got involved with this twenty-one year o...
It’s Curt Schilling and his bloody sock staring down the Yankees in the Bronx. It’s Derek Lowe taking the mound the very next night to complete the most improbable comeback in baseball history—and then seven days later clinching the World Serie...
So, like I said, these are a bunch of really sweet guys, but you wouldn't want to share a Galaxy with them, not if they're just gonna keep at it, not if they're not gonna learn to relax a little. I mean it's just gonna be continual nervous time, isn'...
I do not like postmodernism, postapocalyptic settings, postmortem narrators, or magic realism. I rarely respond to supposedly clever formal devices, multiple fonts, pictures where they shouldn't be—basically, gimmicks of any kind. I find literary f...
What is the spirit of Christmas, you ask? Let me give you the answer in a true story... On a cold day in December, feeling especially warm in my heart for no other reason than it was the holiday season, I walked through the store sporting a big gri...
Middle children weep longer than their brothers and sisters. Over her mother’s shoulder, stilling her pains and her injured pride, Jackie Lacon watched the party leave. First, two men she had not seen before: one tall, one short and dark. They drov...
They call each other `E.’ Elvis picks wildflowers near the river and brings them to Emily. She explains half-rhymes to him. In heaven Emily wears her hair long, sports Levis and western blouses with rhinestones. Elvis is lean again, wears baggy tro...
Helen: Dash... this is the third time this year you've been sent to the office. We need to find a better outlet. A more... constructive outlet. Dash: Maybe I could, if you'd let me go out for sports. Helen: Honey, you know why we can't do that. Dash:...
Grandpa: [voiceover] Nothing gave Buttercup as much pleasure as ordering Westley around. Buttercup: Farm boy, polish my horse's saddle. I want to see my face shining in it by morning. Westley: As you wish. Grandpa: [voiceover] "As you wish" was all h...
Gorgeous George: Get back down or you will not be coming up next time. [watches as Mickey warms up] Gorgeous George: Oh, bollocks to you. This is sick. I'm out of here. Mickey: You're not going anywhere, you thick lump. [Pulls off his shirt] Mickey: ...
For this last, Before and in Corioli, let me say, I cannot speak him home: he stopp'd the fliers; And by his rare example made the coward Turn terror into sport: as weeds before A vessel under sail, so men obey'd And fell below his stem: his sword, d...
Captain Dudley Smith: [Captain Smith briefs the squad room on Jack Vincennes' death; Exley is standing beside him] Sergeant Vincennes was killed by a .32 slug to the heart. Time of death, approximately 1 a.m. Although he was found in Echo Park, preli...
Sulley: [is fighting the invisible Randall when he is hit with a snowball] Mike? Mike: Look, it's not that I don't care about the kid. Sulley: Mike, you don't understand. Mike: Yes, I do. I was just mad, that's all. I needed some time to think, but y...
Coach Boone: It's all right. We're in a fight. You boys are doing all that you can do. Anybody can see that. Win or lose... We gonna walk out of this stadium tonight with our heads held high. Do your best. That's all anybody can ask for. Big Ju: No, ...
Malone: Why do you want to join the force? George Stone: To protect the property and citizenry of... Malone: Ah, don't waste my time with that bullshit. Where you from, Stone? George Stone: I'm from the south-side. Malone: Stone. George Stone. That's...
The three of you were pretty cute last night, with all that touchy-feely crap." "Yeah, that lasted for about two minutes before you dragged Evan back over to the bar." "Dude, we were hunting Turkey. [drinking bourbon] it was important." Chris grins. ...
Jim Craig: Wait a second, I've given you all I've got, and now you're pulling the plug on me? Herb Brooks: Have you? Given me your very best? Because I know there's a lot more in you, a whole other level, that for some reason you just don't want to g...
Percy Garris: [singing] Oh don't you remember sweet Betsy from Pike / Crossed the high mountains with her lover Ike / Two yoke of oxen and big yellow dog / Called Shanghai rooster and one spotted hog / Hoodle-dang-hootie-i-doh, hoodle-dang-hootie-ay,...
