Jerry: [Joe used a "Cary Grant" voice when posing as a millionaire] What are you trying to do to that poor girl, putting on a millionaire act? And, where did you get that phony accent? Nobody "talks loike thet"!
[after the demonstration of a talking picture] R.F. Simpson: What do you think of it, Dexter? Rosco: It'll never amount to a thing. Olga: [with heavy, snotty accent] Its vulgar! Cosmo Brown: That's what they said about the horseless carriage.
Cartman: Aw, screw it. It probably isn't all that good anyway. Kyle: Cartman! What the hell are you talking about? You LOVE Terrance and Philiip! Cartman: Yeah, but the animation is all crappy.
Kim Pine: Scott. Not that I care, but you should go talk to Ramona before she's gone. Scott Pilgrim: Thanks, Kim. Kim Pine: And I really don't care.
Talkative Woman at Hanging: [Referring to face at courthouse window watching the triple hanging] It's Judge Parker. He watches all the hangings. Says it's his sense of duty. Mattie Ross: Who knows what's in a man's heart.
Capone: People are gonna drink! You know that, I know that, we all know that, and all I do is act on that. And all this talk of bootlegging - what is bootlegging? On a boat, it's bootlegging. On Lake Shore Drive, it's hospitality. I'm a businessman!
Record Company Executive: [talking about the Opry] He's been banned for smashing out the footlights. Record Company Executive: If he smashes out lights at Folsom, they're gonna keep him there. Johnny Cash: [laughing]
Brendan Conlon: I know this isn't a great time. And it's too bad about Marco. But what about me? Frank Campana: You talking about Sparta? Brendan, please. You got a better chance of starting a boy band.
I want every idea I have to make me money. I want every post I write to have 10,000 Facebook likes. I want every talk I give to have people laughing at all the right jokes. I want everyone to like me all the time.
Keynesian modelling relies on marginal propensity to consume and marginal propensity to invest. The idea that if we give more money to the poor, they have a propensity to consume that's much higher than the wealthy, though I wish they would talk to m...
'Billionaire' is basically about, you know, like 'Brewster's Millions.' It's me talking about what would happen if I would somehow manage to become a billionaire. What would I do with the money? Don't get it wrong, I'm far from a billionaire. I think...
I think people hear and feel the genuine nature of my passion for the causes. Specifically, with the non-profit in Uganda, my mother is the president, and she was an African politics professor for almost 50 years, so I think people know that I align ...
I beg Osama to stop warring. He is a Muslim, and Islam means peace. Nobody wins in a war... I wish I were tapped in the problem about Iraq. I knew Saddam enough that I could have talked him into surrendering. But it's too late.
I promised never to let the Rwandan Genocide die because I knew the Rwandans didn't have much power internationally and certainly didn't have the resources. I felt it was my duty having witnessed it, and having stayed to witness it, that I had to tal...
I was a huge theater geek growing up, and that was not the easiest thing in the world, especially growing up in Chicago, where sports are really the norm. I was always off to the theater at night, from 7 years old on. Friends there in the Midwest who...
'Just Do It' is exactly what you need to hear when you're in a moment of doubt. When you're struggling, especially with sport... just do it. Stop talking about it, stop complaining about the cellulite, or that you're not able to run fast enough for t...
I sort of try to write everything for me. I'm a huge sports fan but have no interest in minutiae. I don't remember who won Super Bowls five years ago or listen to sports talk radio. I'm trying to make sure the jokes are self-contained so they're acce...
If I was involved with the NFL, I'd seriously consider adopting some of the rules used in Canada. I've heard, unofficially, of course, some NFL club owners have talked about adding a feature or two. The NFL went for the two-point conversion. Professi...
My store, Wine Library, outsells big national chains. How do you think we do it? It started with hustle. I always say that our success wasn't due to my hundreds of online videos about wine that went viral, but to the hours I spent talking to people o...
I would like to do my own daily talk show. Wisdom is the gift of ageing; no young person can have or buy it. My success was and is self-evident. I'm alive. I've lived. I've thrived and have grown as a person. I'm now healthier than ever. Who can argu...
I work in an old tradition that goes back to the ancient Greeks. You hold a mirror to crime to see what's happening in society. I could never write a crime story just for the sake of it, because I always want to talk about certain things in society.
