Jack Swigert: [about to turn power back on in the capsule] Ken, there's an awful lot of condensation on these panels. What's the story of them shorting out? Ken Mattingly: Umm... We'll just have to take that one at a time, Jack. Jack Swigert: [to him...
Addison DeWitt: Well, Max has gone to a great deal of trouble. This is going to be an elaborate party, and it's for you. Eve Harrington: No it isn't. [raises the award statuette] Eve Harrington: It's for this. Addison DeWitt: It's the same thing, isn...
Katczinsky: [entering and seeing the new recruits] What is this? Tjaden: [sarcastically] Volunteers for the future general's staff. Katczinsky: [to the recruits] Oh, sometime I'm gonna take one of you volunteers apart and find out what makes you leav...
Jafar: [from inside the lamp] Get your blasted beak out of my face! Iago: Oh, shut up, you moron! Jafar: Don't tell me to shut up! Genie: [taking the lamp off Aladdin] Allow me. Ten thousand years in a Cave of Wonders ought to chill him out! [flicks ...
Iago: I can't take it anymore! If I gotta choke down on one more of those moldy, disgusting crackers. Bam! Whack! Jafar: Calm yourself, Iago. Iago: And then I'd grab him around the head. Whack, whack! Jafar: Soon I will be sultan, not that addlepated...
Old Man at the Two Windmills: Still, true love does exist. Suzanne, Owner Two Windmills bar: I know. After 30 years behind a bar, I'm an expert. I'll even give you the recipe. Take two regulars, mix them together and let them stew. It never fails.
Willard: [incredulous] What are you talking about? Chief Quartermaster (QMC) Phillips: We're taking her to some friendlies, Captain. She's wounded, she's not dead. Willard: Get off there, Chef. [Willard shoots the injured girl] Chef: Fuck it! Willard...
Bruce Wayne: Who is he? [implying the man imprisoned in a wooden cage] Henri Ducard: He was a farmer. Then he tried to take his neighbor's land and became a murderer. Now he is a prisoner. Bruce Wayne: What'll happen to him? Henri Ducard: Justice. Cr...
Murph: Tell me a little about this electric piano, Ray. Ray: Ah, you have a good eye, my man. That's the best in the city Chicago. Jake: How much? Ray: 2000 bucks and it's yours. You can take it home with you. As a matter of fact, I'll throw in the b...
[Trying to get Mr. Fabulous back into the band] Jake: If you say no, Elwood and I will come here for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day of the week. [Elwood takes a huge, obnoxious bite out of his bread] Mr. Fabulous: Okay, okay. I'll play. You g...
[eleventh title card] Title Card: In late August, America's elite soldiers, Delta Force, Army Rangers and the 160th SOAR are sent to Mogadishu to remove Aidid and restore order. [twelfth title card] Title Card: The mission was to take three weeks, bu...
Doughboy: We got a problem here? We got a problem, nigga? [Ferris and gang take a step back] Ferris: Put the gun away, nigga. Female Club Member: Can we have one night where there ain't no fightin'; nobody gets shot? Doughboy: Shut up, bitch!
Sundance Kid: Well, I think I'll get saddled up and go looking for a woman. Butch Cassidy: Good hunting. Sundance Kid: Shouldn't take more than a couple of days. I'm not picky. As long as she's smart, pretty, and sweet, and gentle, and tender, and re...
Celine: You know what? The only time I get to think now is when I take a shit at the office. I'm starting to associate thoughts with the smell of shit. Jesse: Ha ha. That is a good line. I gonna use that in a book some day. Celine: I'm sure you will....
A word that turns up in TNR’s literary pieces is “tasteless. “ They use it in the same way you might reprove a toilet joke at the dinner table or around relatives. But with them it takes on moral weight. It’s a very damaging mistake: the idea...
After you do a joke a few times, you have material that you know works. Although sometimes I have a joke that has worked a bunch of times and then one night it'll flop. And that's when I really take a hard look at myself and say: 'Well, that crowd is...
I drag my world where I belong... Lost in the oubliette of conscious I hide from the murkiest of shadows Generate hope amidst fear And dewdrops amidst rain My tears don’t carry the burden of pain By taking the draperies of fate along In desire of m...
The thing to do with mutual funds is to buy a couple of decent ones, set up an investment plan and then never, ever think about them again, except maybe once a quarter or so when you take a peek at your statements to make sure that you have not accid...
The notion that before you even set out to go to Thailand, you say, 'I'm not interested,' or you're unwilling to try things that people take so personally and are so proud of and so generous with, I don't understand that, and I think it's rude. You'r...
He loved her for being so beautiful, and he hated her for it. He loved how she put shiny stuff on her lips for him, and he also reviled her for it. He wanted her to walk home alone, and he wanted to run after her and grab her up before she could take...
You want a child who never makes you anything but proud? Please. Don't bother taking on parenthood if you can't handle the fact that sometimes your child's identity won't be what you would have chosen. And if you want to prevent a child from ever suf...
