If I kissed her now, one of two things would happen. We’d either get naked right here on the beach and probably get arrested, or I’d somehow manage to get us up the hill to my house, and then we’d get naked. But kissing her once, then letting h...
Sure, some people are afraid of steroids. Some people were afraid of fire, too. Afraid of electricity, or of splitting the atom. But I know that the body I have now is far superior to the one I was born with. I, Jose Canseco, have changed my own dest...
We cut the throat of a calf and hang it up by the heels to bleed to death so that our veal cutlet may be white; we nail geese to a board and cram them with food because we like the taste of liver disease; we tear birds to pieces to decorate our women...
I grinned. “So you are human after all.” I touched his chest, feeling him breathe hard in and out. “I always thought you were made of steel, you know,” I said. “Superman?” Nat arched his eyebrows. “No, the Tin Man,” I answered back. I...
Francis Fratelli: Get the rope here. Slothy, Slothy, jumprope Slothy. Jake Fratelli: What do you mean jump rope? Francis Fratelli, Jake Fratelli: Jumprope! Jumprope. [singing] Francis Fratelli, Jake Fratelli: Ring around the rosie, pocket full of p...
Adults...struggle desperately with fiction, demanding constantly that it conform to the rules of everyday life. Adults foolishly demand to know Superman can possibly fly, or Batman can possibly run a multibillion-dollar business empire during the day...
Stain Boy Of all the super heroes, the strangest one by far, doesn't have a special power, or drive a fancy car. next to Superman and batman, I guess he must seem tame. But to me he is quite special, and Stain Boy is his name. He can't fly around tal...
From: Beth Fremont To: Jennifer Scribner-Snyder Sent: Thurs, 09/30/1999 3:42 PM Subject: If you were Superman … … and you could choose any alter ego you wanted, why the hell would you choose to spend your Clark Kent hours — which already suck b...
Bertier: [lying down on bed] I ain't looking at that for 2 weeks man. Take it down. Big Ju: Well, you can close your eyes for 2 weeks for all I care. Why don't you look at your wall and I'll look at mine. Bertier: [getting up] I'll look wherever I wa...
Several Terminal Policy readers got together to tell Raker jokes: - Raker CAN piss into the wind. - Raker donates a lot of blood to the Red Cross -- just never his own. - Superman wears Raker pajamas. - When Raker jumps into the pool, he doesn't get ...
You don't want some tacky Vegas fly-by. You're serious. You're serious about friendships, about your work, your family. You're serious about Star Wars, and you active dislike of Jar Jar Binks---" "Well, God. Come on, anyone who---" "You're serious," ...
String of love Universe surrounds you The Saints kneels to you My freezing heart needs you Because your the fire that keeps me warm The scientist believe you Even without a peer-review The existence of your existence Is the evidence that the true-lov...
Bertier: Well, you think I look banged up, you should see my Camaro. Big Ju: Man, I sure am sorry, man. I should have been there with you. Bertier: What are you talking about? You would've been in that bed right next to me. Big Ju: You can't be hurt ...
