[first lines] Jack Crabb: I am, beyond a doubt, the last of the old-timers. My name is Jack Crabb. And I am the sole white survivor of the Battle of Little Big Horn, uh, uh, popularly known as Custer's Last Stand.
Slevin: Anything else you want to tell me? The Boss: I suppose I don't need to say anything as trite and cliched as "go to the police and you're a dead man". Slevin: I think you just did. The Boss: I guess I did.
Grandmother Fa: Great. She brings home a sword. If you ask me, she should've brought home a man. Shang: Excuse me. Does Fa Mulan live here? [Grandmother and Mother dumbly point to the garden] Shang: Thank you. Grandmother Fa: Whoo! Sign me up for the...
Janeway: [Referring to his dead brother] What did he do? Babe: He was in the oil business. Janeway: Wrong. I know exactly how Doc made his living, and the closest he ever came to the oil business was when he filled up at the friendly neighborhood gas...
Caine: You going to Kansas with this fool? Sharif: Yeah, Caine. You should come too, man. I mean, you're not doing nothing out here but getting yourself in a lot of trouble. I know your grandmother would be happy. Caine: Shit, I ain't going no place.
Zetta: You're letting him go! Well, let's keep his vehicle at least! Pappagallo: He fulfilled his contract. He's an honorable man. Zetta: Ok, so who's going to drive the tanker? Pappagallo: I am.
[when Mika is waking up his passed-out customer] Mika: Hey, Aki, wake up! Man #3: Who the fuck are you? And where the fuck am I? Mika: You're in a fucking taxi, fucking close to your home, and you owe me for the fucking ride!
Icey Spoon: [about the conjugal bed] When you've been married to a man for forty years you know all that don't amount to a hill of beans. I've been married to Walt that long and I swear in all that time I just lie there thinkin' about my canning.
Rusty Griswold: Hey, ya' got Pac Man? Cousin Dale: No. Rusty Griswold: Ya' got Space Invaders? Cousin Dale: Nope. Rusty Griswold: Ya' got Asteroids? Cousin Dale: Naw, but my dad does. Can't even sit on the toilet some days.
Reuben: I know more about casino security than any man alive, I invented it, and it cannot be beaten. They got cameras, they got locks, they got watchers, they got timers, they got vaults, they got enough armed personnel to occupy Paris! [pause] Reub...
Samir: No, not again. I... why does it say paper jam when there is no paper jam? I swear to God, one of these days, I just kick this piece of shit out the window. Michael Bolton: You and me both, man. That thing is lucky I'm not armed. Samir: Piece o...
Joanna: How dare you judge me? I mean what are you? You think you're some kind of, like, angel here? No, you're just this penny-stealing... wanna-be criminal... man. Peter Gibbons: Yeah, well, that may be. But at least I never slept with Lumbergh.
Soggy Bottom Customer: Do you have the Soggy Bottom Boys performing "Man of Constant Sorrow"? Record Store Clerk: No ma'am. We got a new shipment in yesterday. Sorry, but we just can't keep 'em on our shelves.
Big Dan Teague: Thank you boys for throwin' in that fricassee. I'm a man of large appetite, and even with lunch under my belt, I was feelin' a mite peckish. Ulysses Everett McGill: It's our pleasure, Big Dan.
Inigo Montoya: Let's go. Fezzik: Where? Inigo Montoya: Find the man in black obviously. Fezzik: But don't you know where he is. Inigo Montoya: Don't bother me with trifles. After 20 years, at last my father's soul will be at peace. There will be bloo...
Bunny: [Merle Haggard's "Okie from Muskogee" is playing on the radio] That's a bad jam, man. Junior: Redneck noise, dude, that's all it is. Make about as much sense as you do. All them chumps be talkin' about how they losin' they ho, and ain't got no...
Sgt. Barnes: Elias was full of shit. Elias was a crusader. Now, I got no fight with any man who does what he's told, but when he don't, the machine breaks down. And when the machine breaks down, we break down. And I ain't gonna allow that in any of y...
Man Waiting to Cross: And the Germans claim to be intelligent! You know what I think, I think they are totally stupid. I have a family to feed. I spend half my time here, waiting for them to let us through. Why do they think I come here, to listen to...
Jack Sparrow: Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid.
Jack Sparrow: Parleley, parlelellyleloooo, par le nee, partner, par... snip, parsley... Ragetti: Parley? Jack Sparrow: That's the one. Parley. Parley. Pintel: Parley? Damn to the depths whatever man what thought of "Parley". Jack Sparrow: That would ...
Jack Sparrow: You know, for having such a bleak outlook on pirates you are well on your way to becoming one: sprung a man from jail, commandeered a ship of the fleet, sailed with a buccaneer crew out of Tortuga, and you're completely obsessed with tr...
