Joel: [on tape recording] And the whole thing with the hair - it's all bullshit. Joel: I really like your hair. Clementine: Thank you.
Carrie: I saw you talking to someone pretty! Rob: Yeah, man, who was that? Joel: She was... just a girl.
Joel: Wait! Clementine: ...What?... What do you *want* Joel? Joel: I don't know! I want you wait for just a... a while.
Joel: He's seducing my girlfriend with MY words and MY things! He stole her underwear! Jesus Christ, he stole her underwear.
Joel: I love being bathed in the sink - such a feeling of security. Clementine: I've never seen you happier, baby Joel.
[Hammering noises in the background] Rob: Fuck! Carrie: Rob, give it a rest. Rob: Carrie, I am making a birdhouse.
Carrie: You're stoned and you're driving. Rob: Pot balances me out. Pot brings me up. That's I smoke it if I'm going to be drinking.
Howard: [overlapping speech] We'll dispose of these mementos when we're done here, that way you won't be confused by their unexplainable presence in your home.
Clementine: Look, I'm sorry if I came off a little nutso, I'm not really. Joel: That's okay, I really didn't think you were.
I was born to catch dragons in their dens / And pick flowers / To tell tales and laugh away the morning / To drift and dream like a lazy stream / And walk barefoot across sunshine days.
Joel: I had a really nice time last night. Clementine: Nice? Joel: I had the best fucking night of my entire fucking life, last night! Clementine: Thaaaat's better!
Joel: Is there any risk of brain damage? Howard: Well, technically speaking, the operation is brain damage, but it's on a par with a night of heavy drinking. Nothing you'll miss.
Joel: I don't see anything I don't like about you. Clementine: But you will! But you will, and I'll get bored with you and feel trapped, because that's what happens with me. Joel: Okay.
[Clementine is trying to comfort baby Joel by showing him her crotch] Clementine: My crotch is still here, just as you remembered it. Joel: Yuck!
But friendship is precious, not only in the shade but in the sunshine of life; & thanks to a benevolent arrangement of things, the greater part of life is sunshine. I will recur for proof to the days we have lately passed. On these indeed the sun sho...
Please tell me it's going to rain today, Francois.' 'Ah!' he smiled. (This was obviously familiar territory.) 'I regret to inform you that the forecast calls for nothing but sunshine.' 'Relentless sunshine,' she corrected him.
Joel: [narration as Clementine acknowledges him by raising her coffee mug] Why do I fall in love with every woman I see who shows me the least bit of attention?
[first lines] Joel: [voice over] random thoughts for Valentine's day, 2004. Today is a holiday invented by greeting card companies to make people feel like crap.
Clementine: You're not a stalker, or anything, right? Joel: I'm not a stalker. YOU'RE the one that talked to me, remember? Clementine: That is the oldest trick in the stalker book. Joel: Really? There's a stalker book? Great, I gotta read that one.
Clementine: I'm Clementine. Can I... borrow a piece of your chicken? Joel: And then you just took it... without waiting for an answer. It was so intimate; like we were already lovers.
[4-year-old Joel watches his mother leave the room] 4-Year-Old Joel: I really want her to pick me up. It's amazing how strong that desire is.
