Glen: Say that reminds me, how'd you get that kid so darn fast? Me and Dot went in to adopt on account a' somethin' went wrong with my semen, and they said we had to wait five years for a healthy white baby. I said, "Healthy white baby? Five years? W...
Sergio: Tell us everything you know. Health Inspector: Okay. Okay. Yesterday, we received a call from a vet who had a dog brought in with an unknown disease. The dog went into a coma and a few moments later came to, and was extraordinarily aggressive...
FBI Director Womack: What do you know about V.X. gas? Dr. Stanley Goodspeed: Liquid; failed pesticide; discovered by mistake in 1952. Uhh, actually, it's kind of like champagne that way. The Franciscan monks thought they were making white wine. Someh...
Lewis: You are, all of you, amateurs. And international affairs should never be run by gentlemen amateurs. Do you have any idea of what sort of place the world is becoming all around you? The days when you could just act out of your noble instincts, ...
Rose Mather: People ask all the time what I learned in the camps. But the camps weren't therapy. What do you think these places were? Universities? We didn't go there to learn. One becomes very clear about these things. What are you asking for? Forgi...
Ernst Blofeld: Siamese fighting fish, fascinating creatures. Brave but of the whole stupid. Yes they're stupid. Except for the occasional one such as we have here who lets the other two fight. While he waits. Waits until the survivor is so exhausted ...
Hidetora: What madness have I spoken? Wherein lies my senility? Saburo Naotora Ichimonji: I'll tell you. What kind of world do we live in? One barren of loyalty and feeling. Hidetora: I'm aware of that. Saburo Naotora Ichimonji: So you should be! You...
Rupert Cadell: After all, murder is - or should be - an art. Not one of the 'seven lively', perhaps, but an art nevertheless. And, as such, the privilege of committing it should be reserved for those few who are really superior individuals. Brandon S...
John Glenn: Annie, listen to me, OK? You listening? If you don't want the Vice President or the TV networks or anybody else to come into the house, then that's it, as far as I'm concerned. They are NOT coming in, and I will back you all the way, a hu...
Gordon Cooper: [during the lung capacity test] Ha! 93 seconds. Read it and weep [notices Glenn and Carpenter are still exhaling] John Glenn: [Glenn has run out of breath well past Gordo's time] Congratulations, Scott. Darn good. Scott Carpenter: [sha...
Trudy Cooper: [about being the wife of a test pilot] I went back east to a reunion and all my friends could talk about their husband's work. How "dog-eat-dog" and cutthroat it was on Madison Ave. Places like that. [under her breath] Trudy Cooper: Cut...
Colette: Table five coming up right now. Skinner: Coming down the line. Colette: Set. Hot. Open oven. Skinner: Coming around. Colette: Oui, chef. One filet mignon, three lamb, two duck. Skinner: Fire those soufflés for table six, ja? Colette: Five m...
Ronnie "Sunshine" Bass: I can't make that pitch Coach. Coach Boone: Yes you can. When I was fifteen years old I lost my mother and my father in the same month Ronnie, same month. 12 brothers and sisters I was the youngest one of them, now I wasn't re...
Jeff: Those two yellow zinnias at the end, they're shorter now. Now since when do flowers grow shorter over the course of two weeks? Something's buried there. Lisa: Mrs. Thorwald! Stella: You haven't spent much time around cemeteries, have you? Mr. T...
Lloyd Dobler: [leaving the last of a series of messages on Diane's answering machine] "Maybe I didn't really know you. Maybe you were just a mirage. Maybe the world is full of food and sex and spectacle and we're all just hurling towards an apocalyps...
Yoda: I am wondering, why are you here? Luke: I'm looking for someone. Yoda: Looking? Found someone, you have, I would say, hmmm? Luke: Right... Yoda: Help you I can. Yes, mmmm. Luke: I don't think so. I'm looking for a great warrior. Yoda: Ohhh. Gre...
Betty Schaefer: Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Gillis, but I just didn't think it was any good. I found it flat and trite. Joe Gillis: Exactly what kind of material do you recommend? James Joyce? Dostoyevsky? Betty Schaefer: I just think that pictures should say...
Frank Lopez: [pleading] Please Tony, don't kill me. Please, give me one more chance. I give you $10 million. $10 million! All of it, you can have the whole $10 million. I give you $10 million. I give you all $10 million just to let me go. Come on, To...
Ed: What happened to your hand, man? Pete: I got mugged on the way home. Ed: By who? Pete: I dunno by some crackheads or something, one of them bit me. Ed: Why'd they bite you? Pete: I don't know, I didn't stop to ask them! Now, I have a splitting he...
Shaun: Pete? Pete? Ed: Why don't we just go up? Shaun: No. No. Wait. No. No! Don't go up there! Ed: Why not? Shaun: Because A, he might be one of them, and B, he might still be annoyed. Pete? Maybe he went into work. Ed: Well, how come he didn't driv...
[Shaun and Ed pull up to Barbara's house and sees Philip's Jaguar in the driveway] Ed: Oh! Hello! Who's a pretty boy, then? [wolf whistle] Ed: You didn't tell me Barbara had a Jag. I've always wanted to drive one of those. Shaun: Yeah, well, it's Phi...
